Hello from Down Under

[wolvesjr34]

So this is a little introduction. Knowing me it could be come a long one.

I found my way here courtesy of GamerGal, she believes this place can help me feel better about myself. I hope she's right.

My name is AJ, I'm from Launceston, Tasmania, Australia. I am 26. I have weight issues (on the too darn heavy side), abandonment issues, not many people I feel I can trust and finding love as a lesbian in Launceston... the hardest thing ever.

Perhaps my biggest problem is that I don't feel loved. I don't have many friends, as I find it hard to connect with people. I don't understand this as I have no issue getting along with people... but I guess I'm just too loud or too weird for most in real life. I have many people online around the world that I have gotten along really well with. Most of them have moved on with their lives now though.

I often feel lonely, and spend most of my time gaming if I can. I mostly play with J. who is pretty much my best friend these days, but there's complications there and I just don't think I should start on that right now.

B. is my other close friend, she's from South Africa and was probably to this point the love of my life. Really couldn't imagine my life without her in it, she's the wise one for me these days. Having gotten past the end of our relationship and friendship being all that we would have, I thought life would really be easier.

But it isn't, and I'm wondering if it ever will be?

I currently work 10 hours a week as a telemarketer for a real estate, and that's probably the one good thing in my life at this time, as it occupies my brain for a few hours a day several days a week.

I'm sports crazy and really glad that my Australian Rules Football team is winning, as I don't think I'd be coping too well if they weren't. I get a bit over involved in sports at times, because I am very passionate about it. Unfortunately I take the losses way too personally.

I'm also keen on music and writing. Hope to one day have a novel published, when I find the motivation and way past this writer's block (creative writing, obviously I have no issue talking about myself).

I think I should stop here.

So um, hi!

[Luba]

Welcome to Lifesupporters, wolvesjr34! I'm very glad you joined and told us about yourself! The members of LS are very kind, warm, loving people and share so much of our lives with each other! I hope you will feel very happy here and continue to post often!

[wolvesjr34]

Originally Posted by Luba

Welcome to Lifesupporters, wolvesjr34! I'm very glad you joined and told us about yourself! The members of LS are very kind, warm, loving people and share so much of our lives with each other! I hope you will feel very happy here and continue to post often!

We'll see. Guess really will depend on how I am feeling. But you can call me AJ, or Wolvey... wolvesjr34 is so formal... lol

[Vautrin]

Welcome to LifeSupporters AJ.



I will come back to this thread. It is almost 2:30 AM here, so I really need some time to sleep.

[PepsiChic]

Glad you came AJ, i really believe in my heart that this place will help, being able to talk and have truly understanding, caring people is what helps us all get through the difficult times in life.

welcome to the family

[wolvesjr34]

Originally Posted by PepsiChic

Glad you came AJ, i really believe in my heart that this place will help, being able to talk and have truly understanding, caring people is what helps us all get through the difficult times in life.

welcome to the family

Thanks Pepsi - glad to see you are yourself again (ie pepsi rather than GG lol)

and am not sure I've said this enough, but you and FB give me hope. And when that's all you have, it's a mighty gift, so thank you.

[IvyRose]

Yay! An Aussie!

Welcome, AJ.

[TKDLady]

Welcome to our family AJ. As Luba said we are a very warm and welcoming group. You have joined more than an online forum. You have joined a family and we are very loving and caring. Please continue to post so we can get to know you better.

[wolvesjr34]

I supose I should add that I find life somewhat pointless. Well entirely pointless. I know this is because the one thing that matters to me is the hardest thing to find. Someone to love who will love me in return.

I haven't had much luck in that department, and I always fall for the wrong people, or so it seems. Perhaps its more I only fall for the people an ocean away... but then, that would be because they are the only people that take the time to get to know me.

But as far as I can deduce, without love, life just sucks. I see no reason to do anything. I still do it, but I get no satisfaction out of anything, because I'm doing it alone.

I think that's why I enjoy gaming, because I don't tend to do that alone, and when I achieve something J. is often there with me. Well that and she's the only one I want by my side... but there's this ocean... and some rocky mountains and all between us *sigh*

[Vautrin]

I have been - and still am - somewhat in that situation. I met my gf online as well, when she lived in the US and I in the Netherlands. We took the leap of faith three years ago. She is now in South Africa, and I am still in the Netherworld.

At least, three years down the line we are working slowly but surely to moving in together, wherever that may be / will happen. I can empathise a bit on how depressing such a situation can be.

Perhaps a strange question, but what keeps you in Tasmania?

[PepsiChic]

im should start a thread on long-distance relationships - coz im also in a simular situation

[wolvesjr34]

Originally Posted by Vautrin

Perhaps a strange question, but what keeps you in Tasmania?

Besides the fact it is the greatest place on earth? Besides the fact I have no money (only earn enough to get by)?

I just cannot take a leap of faith and fly to Colorado for a woman who gives me all sorts of mixed signals. Someone who acts like I mean a lot more than she says, but is too afraid to just say that she wants to see what we could have (if indeed she wants to).

I've only just mended my heart from losing the chance with B. I just need something to work with. Bad enough that I worship the ground J. walks on really. I think. I don't know.

I just know she's the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and pretty much the first thing I think about when I wake up (whetehr that be in the middle of the night or in the morning).

It's always been me doing the dedicated things. Always been me showing my love. I really just need her to show it to me, if that is what she wants (although she already says she just can't tell how she feels is real if we haven't met - which I think is a cop out, because you feel for who a person is, not how they feel to touch etc (although that is important)).

*sigh*

sorry for the long reply.

[wolvesjr34]

I don't really knwo where else to put stuff, so I'll probably just keep adding things here.

Right now I feel so very insignificant. Since J. Moved back hoem with her family she doens't respond to emails or text messages, and i have to nag the frig out of her to get online and play some games. I understand being busy, but to not even say "I can't come on today, because I am busy" when asked if coming online.... it's not that hard.

It's so very frustrating. I want to just not email her ever and see how that makes her feel, but that sounds cruel, so I won't do that.

It's like, when she needs somebody I'm there, and when I need somebody, it's so very hard for her to be there. I told her I wish she hadn't moved home because I'm going to get to spend even less time with her now, regardless of the job she gets. She's going to spend all that time with her family.

I guess I'm selfish.

[PepsiChic]

its not selfish to want to spend time with someone you love. Ive spent a lot of time talking to you about her, and to her about you. and tbh she really seems to string you along

as for posting in the right or wrong place - Duke will catch up when hes got a minute and move the right part of this thread to another forum (probably adult issues -dating) and probably just move from your thread your post starting "i suppose i should add.." downwards. but i dunno.

for now dont worry! maybe you should give ashura some space, when she realizes your not around so much she'll begin to miss you.

[Vautrin]

I guess I'm selfish.

I would hardly call that selfish. But perhaps you are clinging onto strings , as any relationship requires work from two people and J. is not putting a lot in at the moment.

Give her some space. The world does not revolve around her, yet your behavior may give her such an impression.