9 months and 12 days....

[PepsiChic]

...since i moved away from my abusive ex boyfriend after being trapped in a relationship from hell.

It took 3 years to get away from him, but i think im finally safe and free. so far so good!

[Duke]

Thats definately a terrific achievement and one you should be extremely proud of. It amazes me how much of a lowlife a person has to be in order to abuse his/her family members either mentally or physically.

I really don't know whats wrong with these people but a part of me wishes you needed a license to date and parent children.

[Luba]

Good for you, Gamergal! I hope you are very proud of yourself for your courage...you'll be an inspiration to others stuck in the same situation!

[PepsiChic]

thankyou duke and luba, its taking a long time, but im begining to think that every minute away from him is worth it

[Luba]

Originally Posted by GamerGal

thankyou duke and luba, its taking a long time, but im begining to think that every minute away from him is worth it

It is GREAT to hear that you've come SO far! I wish you such peace and happiness in your life! The great thing about coming out of such an unhappy place that you come out so much wiser and so much more appreciative that life doesn't have to be that way! You are a TRUE inspiration!

[PepsiChic]

im not much of an inspiration :S

[Vautrin]

Originally Posted by GamerGal

im not much of an inspiration :S

Nonsense. Sadly situations like that are quite common.

The decision to step out may seem minor to those who are not in the situation, but can be a huge step to take, when you are.

[Luba]

Originally Posted by GamerGal

im not much of an inspiration :S

I wonder why you think you aren't an inspiration? Just you posting and saying you got out of the situation gives a LOT of people who are stuck in one hope...I think HOPE is the greatest rope to hang on to...

[PepsiChic]

i just generally dont think anything of my self, theres a lot of self-blame and self-hate in me. i question everything i say and do constantly.

[Luba]

Originally Posted by GamerGal

i just generally dont think anything of my self, theres a lot of self-blame and self-hate in me. i question everything i say and do constantly.

That's so sad! Please give yourself a break, you deserve it! You deserve a good life, a happy one!

[darkangelism]

Originally Posted by GamerGal

i just generally dont think anything of my self, theres a lot of self-blame and self-hate in me. i question everything i say and do constantly.

I am the same way, but believe us when we say you're a wonderful person.

[Vautrin]

Originally Posted by GamerGal

i question everything i say and do constantly.

Try dancing with me . Just can't.

As for the self-blame and the self-hate, the important thing to remember is that you need to give yourself time. It is not hard to make a mistake - it is much harder to acknowledge mistakes as mistakes, and not as some cosmic proof that you are an idiot.

[PepsiChic]

i do understand its just very very hard. my ex conditioned me to think so much about things, mainly about the bad points of habits i have, and so now im alays very carful what i say and do, always apologise for everything etc
my current boyfriend is really good to me tho, which i appriciate, hes very very patient and lets me go at my own pace in "re-learning" things. He tries to get me to break the habit of asking premission to do things. anything the lsightest little thing and i'll ask him first. but i think im not doing that so much now.

everything just takes a lot fo time and work. but i dunno self hate is just so hard to let go of.

[twinkle]

You simply have to learn to do nice things for yourself and it will take time. Please, stop thinking or refering to your ex or at how he used to conditioned to !

[twinkle]

I hope I didn't sound too harsh, I just got back home and stumbled upon this thread . I simple meant that coming to peace with yourself after such a traumatising experience is difficult, but it's only natural to, so don't be afraid !!!