When Love Leaves

Merika · 10-20-2004, 11:30 AM

Have you ever really thought you loved someone.....only to wake up one morning and realize that you didn't?

Mondo · 10-20-2004, 01:01 PM

Yup. Twice. The first time I tried to work on it, the second I told her how I felt. No point lying about it.

Merika · 10-20-2004, 01:23 PM

I kinda wonder which person hurts the most when it happens.

It's a terrible feeling....not to feel anything at all for someone you once thought was so special.

I think hating them or being mad at them....is much easier than facing the fact you are now numb.

Stone · 10-20-2004, 01:36 PM

I disagree, love is like seasons they change... some mornings you MAY and probably will wake up and not love the person anymore and other moments you can fall back in love with the same person.... like seasons.

I think if both people work at it you can fall back in love with someone... but that's just my silly opinion :?

Merika · 10-20-2004, 01:47 PM

I've never fell 'back' in love....to me....once it's over it's over.

Stone · 10-20-2004, 01:49 PM

I have several times.... maby I am a fool :?

Paul · 10-20-2004, 06:06 PM

I talk about this a bit in another thread called "Love Yourself" but my own opinion is that if you fall out of love with someone, you never really loved them in the first place, more likely you had a very strong attraction or enjoyed how they made you feel and something's changed.

But to answer your question, yes, I thought I loved someone but realized I very much didn't, not because of who she was or what she did but because of what the relationship taught me about myself.

Duke · 10-20-2004, 08:23 PM

I thought I was in love a few times but realized I never knew what Love was until the birth of my daughter.

Merika · 10-20-2004, 09:46 PM

I used to feel the very same way Paul.....until I realized that someone could actually squash out the love you have for them.

I'm not sure that it's the same kind of love that Duke is referring to when you have a child.

I'm not even sure what the heck I'm talking about. It sounds like a romantic ramble from hell! LOL!

Duke · 10-21-2004, 01:08 AM

I was only demonstrating that how can you be sure that it is in fact Love? I went through 27 years of life thinking I've been lucky and in love in my young more than most people experienced in a lifetime. It turns out that the feeling just wasn't the same as watching your child born and growing before your eyes. It made me re-evaluate my thoughts on love and thus rendered ever relationship prior, meaningless by comparison.

Mondo · 10-21-2004, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merika

I kinda wonder which person hurts the most when it happens.

The thing I found it is when this happens what actually are you or the other person feeling?

Guilt?
Hurt pride?
Brused ego?
Sense of loss?

I got sense of loss mixed up with brused ego and hurt pride. Once I realised this when it happend to me I started to see a bit clearer.

Merika · 10-21-2004, 10:30 AM

Well Duke....you have a point there since no matter what my children did... I would still love them. I know I posted once that the love between a man and a woman SHOULD go there....but it seldom seems to.

Mondo....I've always thought most of the pain of heartache was more associated with loss, pride and ego. Maybe not in the initial days when it first happens ....but definately with time.

Duke · 10-21-2004, 09:05 PM

Is it possible that love is a bit different due to the ease of splitting up with your partner but you can't split up with a child. Essentially, you have ways of ending your marriage, but you can never bring to an end the fact that your a parent.