| Separation and Divorce Discussing issues arising from and giving support to those dealing with seperation and divorce. |
04-07-2005, 12:52 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Casual Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 39
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Update on my drama :)
Hey all,
I've been trying to get back into these forums since, a few days ago...but it wouldn't recognize my name. Then I finally read that news thingy and figured it out. lol. Anyway, I just figured since I haven't talked to you all in a while that I would give you an update on the "drama" that surrounds me...for entertainment purposes if nothing else  .
Well since I last wrote, my soon-to-be-ex-wifey and I haven't spoke very much and when we do it's a constant arguement. I did weigh out the pros and cons of trying to re-establish a meaningful relationship with her and it turns out that I was stupid from the start, lol! "Cheat and hurt me once shame on you, Cheat and hurt me 2,3,4,5,6,7 times I'm a damn idiot!" Sorry just had to put that out there...
Anyway, I realized that no one else would have put up with all this from her like I have, she took me for granted and all this time I was just too stupid to listen to everyone. Love is certainly blind huh? It's not that I didn't see it, b/c I did I just didn't pay it much attention. (I'm freeeeeee!)
Oh besides the fact that I've decided to get over her, and let this thing rest...now she's planning on moving to GA. with her mother...taking both of my kids, and I found this out by a slip of tongue that someone didn't mean to tell me. Is this legal? Can she run off with my kids?
I have no idea what to do about my children, I should have a job soon hopefully working for the county so that's cool, then come the pain staking divorce...yay!
Thanks to you all for all help. If it wasn't for ya'll I'd still be feeling blah!
Thanks,
Casey L. Mena
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04-07-2005, 01:35 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Veteran Member
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: oklahoma
Posts: 5,719
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she cant do that if you have legal custody. If she leaves with them im pretty sure thats kidnapping.
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04-07-2005, 03:01 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 5,464
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I'm happy you found your way back to us apok!
It isn't legal for your wife to up and take your kids against your wishes in a different state (I don't think it is..it isn't legal here in canada to do that either). Do you have legal visitations with your kids? If not, I highly suggest and will stress you get it if not. File for visitation rights or joint custody as soon as possible. You, as the children's father, have 100% rights to have easy access to your kids. Even the one you don't think is yours! Legally the child is right now so if she wants to fight that one, she'll have to pay for a paternaty test to be done to prove herself.
I'm happy that you came to a decision that you can live with. I do agree with you that if she cheated on you that many times then yes, you're better off without her. There are plenty of nice girls out there that will appreciate and respect you. 
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Life is what you make of it. Make it happen.
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04-07-2005, 03:03 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,842
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She can't simply take the kids, unless she has custody. As you are still not divorced from her, you will probably have shared custody.
Best thing as always is getting a lawyer, and make certain that she can't screw you with regards to the finances or kids.
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04-07-2005, 03:54 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Casual Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 39
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Sorry I didn't an email about this posting or I would have responded sooner.
Thanks Star_64, I'm hoping this is the best decision. I think we're better off just being friends to each other and parents to our children.
Dark, I'm not sure...Alabama's laws are a bit old, they do things all screwed up down here.
Vautrin, thanks...I'll talk to a lawyer tomorrow or monday, I'm still trying to figure out what to say.
~Casey
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04-07-2005, 04:23 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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Trusted Resource
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,861
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Hi Apok. I replied to your other thread but I'm not sure if you saw it before it was wiped. I'm glad you've made some decisions, it's much easier once you know what the future holds for you.
Do see a lawyer so you know what your rights are but remember they make money if you go to court. Ask if they can refer you to a mediation service so that you can try and resolve things amicably without the expense and conflict of fighting it out in court. You're more likely to remain friends that way and that's important for the kids.
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04-07-2005, 07:56 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,000
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If you read around....you'll see how concerned everyone was about you finding your way back. Make sure Duke and one other person has your email addy in case of any future emergencies.
GLAD TO SEE YOU!!!
Here are a few sites for you to read around on:
http://family-law.freeadvice.com/child_custody/
http://www.nolo.com/resource.cfm/cat...A0643/118/246/
http://www.divorcesource.com/
ALSO..... go to the courthouse at the family court. Ask to see a counsellor....it's free. They will tell you what steps to take.
I'm sorry you are having to go thru all this. All I can tell you is to take each day at a time until you get to the other end.
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04-07-2005, 09:42 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Casual Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 39
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Meanon
Hi Apok. I replied to your other thread but I'm not sure if you saw it before it was wiped. I'm glad you've made some decisions, it's much easier once you know what the future holds for you.
Do see a lawyer so you know what your rights are but remember they make money if you go to court. Ask if they can refer you to a mediation service so that you can try and resolve things amicably without the expense and conflict of fighting it out in court. You're more likely to remain friends that way and that's important for the kids.
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Hello Meanon,
Yes, I remember I believe I responded back, although I'm not certain.
It is indeed a lot easier, to think, and to get on with my everyday life. I'll probably talk to a lawyer soon as I can. I talked to my wife tonight, she's delaying her trip due to one of her friends children is ill and hospitalized unfortunately, so I guess I have a little more time. Thanks for all the advice, I write down a lot of what's said here and so far its been great, and turning out great.
Quote:
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Originally Posted by Merika
If you read around....you'll see how concerned everyone was about you finding your way back. Make sure Duke and one other person has your email addy in case of any future emergencies.
GLAD TO SEE YOU!!!
ALSO..... go to the courthouse at the family court. Ask to see a counsellor....it's free. They will tell you what steps to take.
I'm sorry you are having to go thru all this. All I can tell you is to take each day at a time until you get to the other end.
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I haven't read around yet, I've been a little busy trying to find work, and get this court cost bill paid off (they charged me for court when I had that charge on me...). I went out of town with a close friend for a couple of days, what a relief to acutally get out of the house  , and came back I couldn't log in. I'm glad I was able to re-register though...my email should be at the bottom of the post but just incase it's not: DownPoison83@msn.com . I'll go to the court house, when I pick up an accident report for an auto-accident I had a couple months ago.
Thanks for everything, everyone and I'm glad to be back here...I've been trying to bring people in so hopefully you'll start to see new faces here and there.
~Casey
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04-07-2005, 10:40 PM
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#9 (permalink)
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Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The back of my mind.
Posts: 18,770
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It's likely that she will have full custody, getting a job will help your chances of splitting custody but I don't believe there's any laws prohibiting the mother moving to a different state (or country for that matter). In this day and age, many families move around pretty regularily following their careers, I'm just not sure how this affects a divorce.
As everyone before me has said, you're going to need to check up on it. I'd also recommend seeing a lawyer as the consultation is usually free.
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Fighting as Duke for the 332.
My Daughter Rules!
Thanks Lu for correcting my spelling 
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04-08-2005, 07:37 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
Posts: 1,000
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by Apokryphos
..I've been trying to bring people in so hopefully you'll start to see new faces here and there.
~Casey
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:toast: Good Deal!
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04-08-2005, 08:16 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The back of my mind.
Posts: 18,770
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That would be awesome d00d, can't thank you enough.
We really have some great members here don't we?
__________________
Help Support Us: Feel like Supporting Lifesupporters.com?
;$5/month $10/month $15/month
Fighting as Duke for the 332.
My Daughter Rules!
Thanks Lu for correcting my spelling 
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04-08-2005, 11:59 AM
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#12 (permalink)
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Casual Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 39
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F$%*($*(%Y@$%$*@%(@Y%^$*@ TOWENG @*$T@$! Blah!
:evil:
*breathes* Arrgghh! Why do ex's have to be such &$#&^%. Sorry, lol, sorry I just can't seem to get her to listen to anything I say. She wants me to keep the kids tonight but doesn't want to come get them tomorrow so that I can go to a gig for my band.
Hmm, funny how she always wants me to do for her but if I ask for a ride 5 miles to a definite job interview, I can't get that...in turn my kids don't get $ for diapers, or other things they need!
Sorry for the bitching...I just gotta get out of this Town/State...yeah this state, I've gotta get out of here.
Duke: Do you a specific message for inviting people? If not, I can think of one but if you do please send it my way.
Thanks,
The Angry & aggravated,
Casey
"Smile Everybody"! :twisted:
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04-08-2005, 12:17 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: The back of my mind.
Posts: 18,770
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I don't have a specific message but I can easily make one up.
__________________
Help Support Us: Feel like Supporting Lifesupporters.com?
;$5/month $10/month $15/month
Fighting as Duke for the 332.
My Daughter Rules!
Thanks Lu for correcting my spelling 
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