Parents splitting

[Joscas]

After 20 years of marriage, my parents are splitting up.

My sister (17) still lives at home and my Brother (19) is at college.

When I visted my parents last weekend, things "weren't the same". I went to suprise my mother for her birthday and mothers day. It went over pretty nicely until I noticed certain behaviors from my father (step father).

My wife and I flew out to see them from almost 3k miles away and he had plans to "Go out with the boys". Naturally you would assume that he would cancel since his family came on a suprise.

Nope. He went out both nights.

There is more to this story, I just dont have it in me to continue typing. I am still feeling the shockwave from hearing what has been going on.

I will update later, but for now know that parents are splitting. Father cheating blatently in front of my mothers face. Things are not good.

[TKDLady]

I am so sorry to hear about your parents. I have a friend whose parents split up after 30 years and he was also pretty upset about it. He is in his late 40's early 50's. I guess the kids always feel it even when they are older. As one who has considered divorce myself recently, after 23 years, I have tried to make it work because of my kids. They are 18 and 20. I hope you are able to come to terms with it soon. Your parents, probably especially your mom, will need your understanding.

[twinkle]

I am so sorry to hear this. Please do talk about this. I'd be devastated if my mom were to be alone all of a sudden.

however... you must support your mom and help her and cheer her up instead of letting the pain in. Try not to get involved and let her decide everything. Remember that it's her life!! Maybe your stepdad is simply doing through a phase... don't be judgemental.

You and your family are in my prayers - mind you, I don't do that all that often !

[Meanon]

Originally Posted by twinkle

I am so sorry to hear this. Please do talk about this. I'd be devastated if my mom were to be alone all of a sudden.

however... you must support your mom and help her and cheer her up instead of letting the pain in. Try not to get involved and let her decide everything. Remember that it's her life!! Maybe your stepdad is simply doing through a phase... don't be judgemental.

You and your family are in my prayers - mind you, I don't do that all that often !

I was with my ex for 20 years. Different circumstances, it was me that wanted out. Your step father has chosen the most cruel way possible. He must be very weak, a stronger man would be able to bear the guilt in a more responsible, compassionate way. Your mother will need someone to lean on for a while, you can do that for her if you are able. Make sure you express the anger against your step father somewhere else, she may not be able to handle that as well as everything else.

[twinkle]

Joscas, honestely, their divorcing is the best news anyone can receive. In this country people don't divorce, women after a certain age just don't - it's almost inconceivable to end up alone! Bestest of luck !!!!

[Duke]

Divorce is not always a bad thing, I just wish more parents would realize that it's much better than "staying together for the sake of the children".