Misplaced Trust

Merika · 01-24-2005, 12:04 PM

There is a lot of threads about people not getting back into relationships due to fear of being hurt again.

Let's look at this from another angle.

Once someone has told you that they loved you and you believed it to be true....then there was great indication that they didn't mean exactly what they said.....how would you ever trust the next person.

Maybe it's not a matter of 'fear'....but a matter of not having confidence in 'trust'.

How would someone go about correcting that?

Stone · 01-24-2005, 12:42 PM

Remember that song "sometimes love just aint enough?" that explains it pretty well.

I think that if a person says they love someone that statement is somewhat accurate... they may have had that feeling at some point in time but they just don't or cant anymore..

My advice would be to trust untill there is a reason not to trust..

Star · 01-24-2005, 03:14 PM

I never had a problem trusting the next person who comes along. The guys who told me that they loved me in the past, I know they did at that time. Or they thought what they were feeling was love. If they fall out of love with me, I don't hold that against them. It happens! The more you hurt with relationships, the more you learn for the future ones.

Trusting another person comes with time. You need to get to know that person before you can trust them. I do anyways.

Merika · 01-24-2005, 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by star_64

The guys who told me that they loved me in the past, I know they did at that time. Or they thought what they were feeling was love.

That's a great way to look at it Star! It really helped me to see it from that angle. THANKS!

Star · 01-24-2005, 05:58 PM

I've broken hearts myself in the past and thought I was in love too with the guy at that time. I look at it as a nice experience. It was nice to spend that time with those guys. They were on the way to my destiny and I was for theirs. The way I see it is that each and every one of them helped me to make my next relationship better. You grow and learn with every broken heart.

Meanon · 01-24-2005, 06:30 PM

I agree, it's rarely that you can't trust people when they say they love you. It's that people can still hurt those they love or they can fall out of love.

Love does often bring out the best in people (particularly love for a child) but it won't stop us making mistakes. Neither will it change a personality type. If someone is an ***clown they are unlikely to be transformed by love.

It's not love that's to blame. It's partly fate and partly who we choose and why we choose them. If you can learn from it, your chances are likely to be better the next time around.

Duke · 01-26-2005, 08:47 PM

I think too many people throw around the word love without ever knowing what it means. Love is a word you should feel, all the other emotions are.

Merika · 01-27-2005, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

I think too many people throw around the word love without ever knowing what it means. Love is a word you should feel, all the other emotions are.

I agree. I think the word 'love' when passed between two adults in a relationship should be an expression of some sort of committment. If the committment isn't there.....then it's not love.....it's something else.

Duke · 01-27-2005, 06:46 PM

A projection of possible long term lust maybe.