I think it's not going well

twinkle · 02-06-2005, 12:52 PM

And it's my fault also. I don't talk enouthg, I don't open up, I just try to make things better and I cannot all alone.

I don't know what's going on. I'm soo upset. I will tell you guys what's going on later. I feel like choking right now.

so let's play a LS game: what are the signs that it's not working? Please be as blunt as possible, I could use a cold shower...

Duke · 02-06-2005, 01:48 PM

Tension, communication breakdown, arguments over nothing, spending too much time apart, making excuses to leave home, different bedtimes, excessive communication with outside sources, bitching, crankiness, complaining, lack of patience.

Duke · 02-06-2005, 01:48 PM

I hope you're allright twinkle, please let us know if there's anything at all we can do.

twinkle · 02-06-2005, 02:00 PM

I took a few hours off, cried and now I feel better

.

Thanks, Duke. I think it's the stress at school that's catching up with me.

Ok, tough question: I'm off my pills for a while now - less than a month. We used a condom once and wasn't a success - mainly, I think I was alergic to the spermicid on it.

My bf I think developped a phobia of condoms since then, he keeps remembering my being very uncomfortable with them, so... no sex for a month now.

He says he doesn't miss it all that much. It didn't bothered me either at first, but he stayed at my place for a week and nothing. I have to mention that at the beginning of the relationship we had used condoms and it was pretty much ok - I think he had used more expensive stuff, I have no idea.

And yes, Duke, we had fights over nothing, more and more the last few weeks.

I kinda feel rejected, 'cause all men were crazy about shaggin' me and I must say that I don't lack admirors. So... it bugs me big time. And I feel like revenging on him... stupid female things.

I know I don't create the most romantic amosphere with my stress and fights... I'm just plain unhappy right now. Spent the lousiest day together (and another boring night) too.

I'm sorry, I want that. Ok, I ain't no nympho, but hey, he ain't no Einstein either. I like to keep it simple. Sh!t!

darkangelism · 02-06-2005, 02:13 PM

why dont you go buy condoms and set up a sexual situation that he cant turn down...if that is the problem, i hope everything is ok.

twinkle · 02-06-2005, 03:53 PM

IT's not the issue... it's about... I don't know... feeling wanted. I can't explain it. I simply wanted to see how far it would go... and it does go far..

darkangelism · 02-06-2005, 04:21 PM

What? im not sure what you are trying to say

Duke · 02-06-2005, 07:03 PM

I think she's trying to say that he appears to be making no advances toward her or making her feel important or loved. At least I think.

Have you discussed this with your boyfriend yet twinkle, maybe a little open communication can go a long way?

Meanon · 02-06-2005, 07:08 PM

Maybe you're right twinkle, but it seems to me that this situation is not straightforward and that there may be room for confusion and misintepretation.

The problem with testing someone is that they don't know the rules, so wheher they pass or fail it may not mean what you think it does. Do try and talk to him, it's the only way. Share the way you are feeling. Maybe he should know without you having to say it, but no-ones perfect. Give him the chance to do something about it. There's no point feeling guilty about having the feelings in the first place either, it's understandable, they are real.

Samson · 02-06-2005, 08:26 PM

Quote:

I'm off my pills for a while now

Why?

Merika · 02-07-2005, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkle

so let's play a LS game: what are the signs that it's not working? Please be as blunt as possible,

The first sign....is when you are questioning if it's still working.

Everything after that becomes a pschological play on words and emotions....in which I have found....never ends up fixing the first sign.

That's as blunt as I can put it.

The old saying that their are lots of fish in the sea is true. Sometimes, we just accept the fish at hand instead of recasting our line. It's not a great fish, it's not the fish we want....but there it is....so we take it home and try to make it work.

darkangelism · 02-07-2005, 09:28 AM

How are things going now

twinkle · 02-07-2005, 03:46 PM

We had a big fight yesterday after he left my house. So, Star, I think it was something in the air on Sunday.

What happened, what was said, who said it... who cares anymore?

DA was very perceptive. My bf accused me of never taking the initiative, I told him that each time I talked to him about that he'd get defensive and say he did't miss it all that much. Of course, he accused me of never doing anything. A answered that touching men against their will was not between my favourite things...

So Meanon was right too, 'cause we were both playing games. And we both lost.

So I asked him flat and squaire where he saw me on a long term, especially since I'm thinking about getting an internship outside France (lie, I've only thought about it for 5 minutes once, then I dropped it).

He told me I should go and not miss any chances I might have. My heart stopped.

I had a friend who got the scholarship to France the same time I did. During the summer holiday she fall inlove with a guy back home. It never worked out, but she confessed she would have quit her MAster (she got one in Belgium) if that guy would have told her to stay with him. I thought she was a total fool... Now I think I understood what she meant.

So I'm trying to think about this as cool as possible. He said the only thing he'd see that might come between us is distance. I am a bit confused about him. But not about me and where I'm heading

He said he is hoping I'd take him with me if I ever leave...

Don't really know what's the point in that... I have a difficult class tomorrow, so I'll get back to studying.

Thank you.

Twinkle

P.S. I stopped taking the pill for a month because it caused me some hormonal imbalance. I'll change it and still be on bc pills starting this week (I hope).

Stone · 02-07-2005, 04:10 PM

Twink I am almost sure we are about the same age. I am 24, I know how you feel to be rejected, it sucks, especially when OTHER men hit on you and your SO doesn't even notice you anymore it really sucks but I don't know if it is our "AGE" or not I feel the need to be sexually active alot more in the last 2 years than ever before. How old is your b/f?

twinkle · 02-07-2005, 04:19 PM

He's 25.

The thing is that I don't have an unusual sexual appetite, but he taught me that way. I can't really master the sexual appeal so I try to dominate it. He made me enjoy it so that's a bit like a break through for me.

Too bad he woke up the devils, huh, LOOL!!!!