How...

Luba · 12-29-2005, 04:00 PM

do you help someone you love deal with their broken heart?

Merika · 12-29-2005, 04:06 PM

Give 'em liquor and let 'em cry. I'm not sure there is much you can do beyond that. Truth is...a broken heart is a broken heart....and nothing can mend it but time.

When I went thru my fiasco....I had the best of the best of friends around. After the sun set though....I had to live with my own regrets and pains until I slowly got to the other side of it.

Luba · 12-29-2005, 04:15 PM

Is it a good idea to leave them alone and wait for them to call when they say that? Is that what they really want...to be left alone? Doesn't a person who's suffering need someone just to be there to listen...and if they ask you for opinion and you are bitter about the situation yourself and do you tell them how you feel?

Merika · 12-29-2005, 04:17 PM

Each person is real different in how they need to deal with stuff. I remember I stayed online alot with a group of people in a similar situation....but I really felt they were the only ones in the world who understood.

People on the outside said nice stuff....but I never felt they really knew the complexity of it all.

I think a nice card with your phone number saying 'call...even if you just need to cry' is a good thing.

twinkle · 12-30-2005, 07:04 AM

I think that if the person doesn't want to talk it's because they need to deal with it themselves. It's much harder, IMHO, because friends can help a lot, but then everyone's different.

So you can simply call that person and ask him/her if they're ok, if they'd like to have lunch with you, to simply be around them, even if you never talk about their issue. It can do a lot of help. It shows them that you're not abandonning them.

Luba · 12-30-2005, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twinkle

to simply be around them

That's my trouble...this person lives at the Coast and I live 500 miles away..

twinkle · 12-30-2005, 12:21 PM

Write a lot - not about the ikky subject, but ask your friend questions about their projects, life, other friends.

Phone them from time to time (not too often, though, you don't want to be constantly reminding them of their failure). Send them a small gift once in a while (funny stuff, a cup, a teddy bear, or something else that has a special meaning between you two).

IT's even more wonderful to have someone thinking about you, especially since they're not near (most people believe that geography is a good reason to give up on friends :roll: ).

You're a great friend, Luba, but you can't heal someone of a broken heart, near or far from that person.

Hugs,

Diana

Meanon · 12-30-2005, 05:15 PM

You can show them that you care. Being broken hearted often makes people feel very lonely.

If they want to talk you can help them to recognise, validate and accept their emotions. This will help them understand themselves and get over the loss more quickly with less risk of ill effects in the medium to long term.

TKDLady · 12-31-2005, 12:14 PM

I am currently dealing with my own broken heart and other demons. I can tell you that my good friend has helped by just being available when I need to cry. She can't heal me just like Merika said but it helps to know someone cares and will be a shoulder when I need it. There is a guy at work who has also made himself available to me when life gets tough while at work. Friends are like the bandage on a wound. They can't heal it but they can put a little buffer between the pain and the outside world until the wound is healed.

Hope this helps.

darkangelism · 01-01-2006, 01:11 AM

time makes it better.

Luba · 07-16-2006, 10:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

time makes it better.

Time HAS made it better and just listening has helped...there is some laughter happening now and growth as well.

Luba · 07-16-2006, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tkdlady

I am currently dealing with my own broken heart and other demons. (

I haven't looked at this thread in a while, and reread your post, tkdlady....how are you doing now...just want you to know I care!

TKDLady · 07-16-2006, 02:51 PM

Thanks. I still have some issues I can't seem to work through but I am trying. I haven't gotten brave enough to talk about it here yet. Maybe one day I will. I appreciate your kind heart.

Merika · 07-16-2006, 05:50 PM

I was thinking the very same thing as I read the thread. Then, I realized the date and thought perhaps it was a situation that has passed. Even if you aren't ready or never want to share it at all tkdlady, please know that your friends do care!

TKDLady · 07-16-2006, 06:44 PM

Thanks Merika. I will share someday.

Duke · 07-17-2006, 02:58 AM

You can't help anyone deal with a broken heart because only they can work through it. All you can do is be there as a friend but be there at a distance. Make that person seek your council; otherwise you may end up being more of a nuisance than help.

Also, shut up and listen. Most people vent because they need to get it off their chest, not because they want to hear your take on the situation. In other words, only speak or offer your opinion when asked to do so.