| Separation and Divorce Discussing issues arising from and giving support to those dealing with seperation and divorce. |
07-12-2005, 08:59 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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Veteran Member
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Greg
Greg came home and bought me a dozen roses... as soon as I saw them I look at him and said " nope, that isn't going to work" that wasn't very nice of me..  I feel bad for hurting his feelings but he hurt mine for 9 months. Maby I should apoligize
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07-12-2005, 09:26 PM
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#2 (permalink)
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Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
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Forget gr0g, he's spent way too much time and energy burning bridges that he must be part Russian.
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07-12-2005, 09:42 PM
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#3 (permalink)
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Moderator
Join Date: Oct 2004
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I think it's sweet that he gave you roses. I would've accepted them and talked to him about how he treated you for the past 9 months. A heart to heart talk. It's clear that you still have some deep feelings for greg or you wouldn't be with him today and vise versa.
I think now that Ally's born, you two should sit and have a real good talk about things and take it from there.
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07-12-2005, 10:25 PM
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#4 (permalink)
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Founder
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I agree with the heart to heart talk but allowing him back into your life for any reason is a mistake Stone and no one knows that better than you. If you think that you can truly put the past behind you and start fresh then that's good, but I know you can't. The problem is that you know you can't either because the past has left some serious scars behind.
I'm sorry to be so blunt, but I made the same mistake getting back together with my ex after our daughter was born and all it did was prolong the inevitable and make the split that much more emotional. Regardless of what you choose to do you have my you still have my support and best wishes.
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Fighting as Duke for the 332.
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Thanks Lu for correcting my spelling 
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07-13-2005, 03:27 PM
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#5 (permalink)
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Veteran Member
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A
After long thinking and a thorough analysis of my "rich" love life, I've come to the conclusion that no relationship ever is easy or smooth. Not if both partners trully are honest and open with eachother.
Given his outrageous behaviour, I believe your reaction is quite understandable, you feel like punishing him. the thing is... isn't it only anger, that feeling of trying to be even with him for hurting you?
Either way, if you keep on rejecting him, he will give up.
The thing is... it's really wonderful that the made this step towards you. It may seem like a little thing, but so many men are UNABLE to do it, whatever it takes. So give him at least that.
This isn't him trying to buy you... so I guess you can be at least happy at the this thought.
Whatever you choose, Heather, you know what's best. I'm right by your side, just like Duke.
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07-13-2005, 05:23 PM
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#6 (permalink)
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:? :? I just got a call today stating that my landlord died  and his wife will be selling the condo
Now I am really going to have to stick around or I"ll have no where to live. I swear it never ends, nothing ever works in my favor. I planned on keeping the condo and him moving out soon, now I am stuck... maby I was just ment to be stuck..
I konw I am whining I am really pissed off 
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07-13-2005, 07:11 PM
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#7 (permalink)
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Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
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It sound's to me that you feel defeated, try not to let it get you down. I've been through similar issues that took years to resolve but still try and keep a somewhat positive mental attitude.
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Help Support Us: Feel like Supporting Lifesupporters.com?
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Fighting as Duke for the 332.
My Daughter Rules!
Thanks Lu for correcting my spelling 
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07-13-2005, 08:01 PM
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#8 (permalink)
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Defeated that's a great word and exactally how I feel right now :?
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07-14-2005, 07:52 AM
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#9 (permalink)
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Jesus Christ, you're in a tough spot ! I take it that trying to find another place to live is out of discussion, right?
i have no idea how these things work in the USA, in France it's one horrible ordeal and it takes forever to find something decent.
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07-14-2005, 08:51 AM
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#10 (permalink)
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I am in no position to get another place right now due to the fact that most places needs 1st last and security plus I would need to activate utilities witch requires a deposit. ANd Ally is so young I can't imagine going back to work full time and putting her in Day care at $160.00 a week just to struggle and make ends meet.
Greg "decided" last night that we might as well go ahead and buy a house now. something I have been bugging him about for 3 years!!!! I don't know what to do. Most likley take my best friends advice Let him buy us a house, marry him and divorce his ass and stay in the house with the kids. That is cruel and mean and disfunctional I know but I sold all my property and invested it into HIS business now because of MY hard work and MY money his business is EXTREAMLY sucessful I took it from a lousy 10K a year to 500K this year ( hurricane Charly helped to) and I am not leaving untill I get mine... He's skrewed with me for 9 months and took advantage of me I'll be dammed if he walks away all high and mighty and I am stuck in the slums with 2 kiddo's ... I am still ranting and pissed and all over the friggen place.  I don't know what to do
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07-14-2005, 10:28 AM
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#11 (permalink)
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Sounds like a plan to me, but only you know what's best.
I wish you could just forgive him and start focussin on YOU, on what you need, with or without him by your side.
Love,
T.
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07-14-2005, 11:10 AM
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#12 (permalink)
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Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2005
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A very tough situation to be in, Stone. Of course the least you seem entitled to from a moral point of view, is the money you invested in Greg's business.
I don't know the exact details of his business, but it might be hard to extract the money now, if you don't want to ruin the whole enterprise. So it may be kind of impossible to get all your money back now.
But on the other hand, the investment you made, probably comes with a few rights of your own - you could use these.
Knowing that you are in the financial field, there must be ways to work that out. There must be solutions available without screwing things up with / for Greg.
You invested an amount of money in his enterprise, and you could get him to invest a similar amount of money in your house. Again, I am not an expert in the financial field, it should not be impossible to arrange for that, without the whole marriage / divorce ordeal.
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07-14-2005, 12:24 PM
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#13 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
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I wish there was some easy clear answer Stone...but there just isn't.
It no longer matter if he's the biggest A$$ in the world....to Ally....he's going to be a hero and the most important man in her life for many years to come. I suspect he feels the same way about her.
SO...whatever you do....look down the road and make sure you handle it in the most amicable way possible. Maybe the best thing is to sit down with him and admit that neither one of you are totally happy in this situation....but how can you work it out together so Ally has the best of both of you. Having Ally may totally change the way he is thinking and is willing to respond to you.
Until you are back on your feet and have a job....you have no idea what choices you'll be able to make. For now, try to live peaceable with him and try to talk it out with him.
BTW: I'm sorry things are so tough for you right now. 
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07-19-2005, 10:01 AM
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#14 (permalink)
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Well I have given in... we are house hunting so atleast for awhile my attention will be directed elsewhere. I am somewhat excited because I get to pick out the house  Then I can decorate it. I am going to look at a KeyWest type of house today. Greg is actually purchasing the house but I will be on the title so I guess in the future I get to keep the house or he will legally have to buy me out so I am thinking of it as an investment ( crooked huh??) Realestate is boombing here like crazy so I can't lose, either way I will come out ahead so I am going to try to stay focused on that.
It's is inevitable that this relationship will end one day, and knowing how I am already I am at the point where I WANT to have an affair, I know there is no excuse for it or no reason but I am lonley  Greg and I have been talking quite a bit, he know's it's comming and I think he has excepted it :? Alot of our problems come from his BiPolor disorder witch makes things very hard for me emotionaly, sexually ect. I don't think he means to be such a cold person but he is all the medication in the world won't help that. I feel like I"ve tried and tried over and over and it just isn't worth it.
I actually do like him as a friend, a person ect but I can't deal with his emotional baggage witch is going to make me stray because my needs are not being meet, but being with Greg is meeting the needs of my children so I guess that is what I will do
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07-19-2005, 12:23 PM
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#15 (permalink)
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Retired
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Florida, USA
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Find a good looking realtor and make it a long shopping spree......hehehe!
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07-19-2005, 12:34 PM
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#16 (permalink)
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