Going to EXPLODE!!

[Monkey26]

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG I'm about ready to explode. Husband and I have been seperated alittle over a week. He BARELY see's our son. Tonight I went to a birthday party and instead of my husband saying "HEY I want to spend time with my son" he tells me he's going to dinner and the church in the morning so I have my mom watch my son so I can go to the birthday party. Only to find out the husband has been at bars all night. He says he didn't drink, but I see charges on our joint accounts and then he's smoking again after I forked over $100's to help him quit!! Am I just being overly emotional??? I'm so MAD!!!

[Luba]

No, I don't think you are overly emotional. I think that things build up for a long time that they need to come out and see them for what they are. I know when I kept things in when a 'family' member visited years ago, year after year, and I kept as quiet as I could about it, when the volcano finally erupted, it wasn't a pretty sight! All kinds of emotions take over! I only use my example as I can relate, and it wasn't even my husband that I was so emotional over, so I understand your emotion. You need to get it out to him, he has to be told how you feel. If you could keep it about the issues (and that's hard when there is anger present) that would work in your favour in the long run.

It seems to me that he is enjoying his 'freedom'. I'd change that joint account really fast if that's possible without both signatures.

[TKDLady]

I am sorry you are going through a rough time. I am sorry to that I have not piped in sooner. I have been reading and thinking but don't really have any good advice as yet but the joint account thing, yes I would fix that. You probably can't change it without his signature but you can open your own and pull your money out of the joint one and put it into your own. That is what I would do. If things get back to normal then you can work out the money again but until then separate your finances from him as much as possible. I would also look into getting credit cards in your name only if you don't already do that. Just a few suggestions while you two figure out your lives.