Day 2

lewsterrett · 05-02-2008, 07:10 AM

For some reason my last post didnt make it on the day 1 post. Ill do a recap here. The events leading up to this were that I was non-functional in any way. I had no business leaving the house as i was a meanace on the roadways. I missed a few exits on the highway and came to miles down the road. I would turn around only to miss the exit again. I called my boss and told him what was going on. When i arrived to work I arrived late. Everyone at every meeting asked what was wrong with me. I had anxiety and felt like i was suffocating. I went to lunch with a group and i again began to suffocate. my boss recognized this and sent me home. I had bells palsy and a nervous breakdown a few years ago due to stress. I felt it coming on in my car as i was headed home. I needed something and didnt know what. I remembered that there was a synagogue a few miles down the road. I had attened this congreagation once so i was fairly farmiliar with it. My intent was to get prayer from the Rabbi or minister. (im a Christian but that is another forum and conversation) I dont know why but when I arrived I went to the Judica shop and felt like a zombie just staring at items and not paying too much attention. I was asked if i needed anything and not to feel like a cook i asked for some Havdelah candles. They were out. I then looked for the offices. I didnt know how to get in. A nice pregnant lady in the parking lot asked if I needed help and i was on the verge at this point and said yes.
She showed me how to get in and I met a kind lady who i asked if there was anyone there that could talk to me. She said that there was not and she would take my name and number. I agreed and she asked what this was in regards to. I told her my situation. I recived a powerful word of God from her. I drove home and dont remember even getting in the car i was about 10 miles away. The Lord spoke to me and revealed truth. i wrote this last night in my separate online blog.

I recognize that sometimes the worst attack of them enemy is ourselves. We tend to give the devil too much credit in crafting wild, complicated schemes. In my case I took my wife for granted. I did not recognize her for the person that she is. She has wonderful gifts that I cannot and shall not keep to myself. She is a child of Yeshua HaMashia. I have no place to restrain her as I have done in the past. It would be a dishonor to Yeshua HaMashia to do this and i will not dishonor my L-rd my King. Secondly I did not support her. There were many nights that she would minister to people by herself or someone else. I now see that I am the other bookend. How much more powerful would our ministries be when we are coveneant partners using our gifts given to us by Yeshua HaMashia. Third I put her gifts down in relation to mine when they are both given by Yeshua HaMashia. Her gifts are equally important to mine. Our gifts complement and are needed by the other. Fourth I need to value life, My own. I have medical issues that I have not addressed. I vow to Yeshua HaMashia that I am thankful for the life you gave me. I WILL make his temple holy. Fifth I will be flexible my life is not my own. It was put before the throne of Yeshua HaMashia when I made him my L-rd and Savior. if I have to drive a few miles then so be it. If i have to fly to Colombia, Borneo, Mozambique, or Iraq so be it.
I am pouring concrete right now and with the help of Yeshua HaMashia my foundation and marriage will be not only reinforced but NEW. Baruch HaShem Adonai- Blessed be the name of the Lord

Yeshua HaMashia is Hebrew for Jesus Christ,

I picked up my son from school, We rode bikes and had a good time. We slept well. I woke up refreshed. I have already taken care of some bills, my blog and this post. The Lord has given me hope. I will rest in him
Beloved Thank you all for your prayers and supplication. I cannot repay. I pray the Lord repay you in whatever manner you have need of. I leave these songs that I have been standing on for you and anyone else in need of them.
I Just Want You I Just Want You.mp3 - Song - MP3 Stream on IMEEM Music
CeCe Winans You're So Holy - Song - MP3 Stream on IMEEM Music
Jaci Velasquez I Will Rest In You - Song - MP3 Stream on IMEEM Music
I pray day 2 is a new beginning as i begin to rebuild myself so that we can in God's will rebuild the foundation of our marriage at some point.

TKDLady · 05-02-2008, 07:39 AM

Your post didn't show up because you linked to another site. Please read the rules for offsite linking for new members.

Duke · 05-02-2008, 05:27 PM

lew, new members do not have the same privileges that regular members (members with 10+ posts) enjoy. The reason these settings are configured in this manner is to protect all members and our valuable guests. As we grow there is an ever increasing amount of forum spam such as shameless self promotion and or self marketing both publicly in our forums and via our Private Messaging System.

Once you have surpassed the minimum forum post requirements (5 or 10 posts) you will see your rank change, your accesses increase and post moderation virtually disappear. Again, this is to protect everyone who uses this site from nefarious content.

Both posts have been approved and should now be publicly viewable in our forums and open for discussion.

Ken

lewsterrett · 05-02-2008, 08:03 PM

its really strange. my son and i are about to light the sabbath candles which is what my wife does. i filled her cup and set her place just like it would be when she did it. Shabbat is going be really different tonight. Shalom

Luba · 05-02-2008, 08:17 PM

How are you and your son making it through this evening?

PepsiChic · 05-02-2008, 09:58 PM

I think it is wonderful they you can seek strength from Jesus Christ and that He may help you at such a difficult time.

It must be terribly difficult for you and your son, how old is he? does your son understand what is happening?

i truly wish the best for you, my thoughts and prays go out to you.

lewsterrett · 05-02-2008, 10:30 PM

He is 11 years old. We have been married 14 years. He just went to bed. I just looked through our photo album. We have willow tree figurines. She gave me one for Christmas that was both of us holding each other. What i would do to rewind the clock. I have been told to take it one day at a time. Im working on almost minute by minute. i feel so badly wanting to call her on the phone and talking to her. If I get a second chance i vow not to mess that one up. My son is going with her tomorrow. I pray for strenghth for me tomorrow. I am up one minute down the next. I am keeping a mask on for my son. my parents divorced when i was 7. when my son was born we vowed not to divorce for his sake. I am seeking God and I beleive that he puts people in your path for times as these. I have people at work that mean well. I am trying just to function. bedtime is very lonely.

Luba · 05-08-2008, 08:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lewsterrett

I have been told to take it one day at a time. Im working on almost minute by minute. My son is going with her tomorrow. I pray for strenghth for me tomorrow. I am up one minute. I am seeking God and I beleive that he puts people in your path for times as these. I have people at work that mean well. I am trying just to function.

ALL very positive and keep on going, especially the 'minute by minute'; sometimes that's all it takes to keep going like that, breaking it down to the simplest form. Sometimes we take our past and future thoughts rapidly firing around in our minds and it's all too overwhelming then. I think you are being very WISE!

lewsterrett · 05-09-2008, 07:23 AM

Thank You Luba

Luba · 05-09-2008, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lewsterrett

Thank You Luba

You're welcome! How are you doing today?