Day 17

lewsterrett · 05-17-2008, 10:44 AM

Please pray this for my family.

"Heavenly Father, I ask You in the name and through the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ, to build a "hedge of thorns" around my wife. I pray that through this hedge, any other lover or intrested person will lose interest and depart. I base this prayer on Your Word which commands that what You have joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6)
In Jesus name.

She has no intention of reconciling or restoration. She told me she doesnt love me and took her wedding ring off. I am asking for prayer. There is a friend of hers that is giving her bad counsel against my family.

PepsiChic · 05-17-2008, 10:49 AM

I am so sorry to hear that of your wife. Do not blame yourself, remember that you were the one who still loves.

Luba · 05-17-2008, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lewsterrett

There is a friend of hers that is giving her bad counsel against my family.

Is there a way you can talk to this 'friend' (I use the term loosely) and tell him/her to keep out of your wife's problems? Listening and supporting is one thing, but to break up a family is quite another! Why do so-called friends insist on doing that?

lewsterrett · 05-18-2008, 07:29 AM

I dont know for sure if her friend is in fact advising her on what to do. One thing that the pastor brought up was something that I forgot about. My wife had gastric bypass 2 years ago when she weighed 425lbs. She was terribly depressed and there was nothing I could do. I found a job which had a benefit coverage where they paid fir the surgery. I was horribly underemployed taking a pay cut. She had her surgery and is now about 210lbs. One of the items that she had to follow through was counselling becuase of this type of thing. The person litterally becomes another person. She has also had 2 back sugeries so by taking pain medication on a dangerous level for years she asked Jesus to break her addiction to those too. One of the things she told me was that the turning point of our marriage is that she no longer took a pain pill when she felt pain in our marraige. I dont know what to do becuase I feel like telling her all of this but she wont speak to me. She also a year ago she didnt work but we needed the money. I got her a job where i worked and it helped. I then found another job where i got back to the level where i was before. She stayed there making about $12/hr. A month ago she was offered and got a job in he same industry making nearly $87k a year. She made mention that she no longer needs me. This was suppoded to be our golden time of life where we got to where we wanted to be years ago. We were supposed to travel to israel and do many things we never had the money for. I have been in prayer sttruggling with God all over this. Everyone tells me that if she crashed then she is coming back to me. I dont know what to say about any of this. Im now on ambien to help me sleep and im sleeping about 7 hours now. for weeks i only slept about an hour or 2 a day. I felt like i was running on adrenaline i have anxiety. i had to get another cell phone so that i can talk to my brother since i was running up too much time on my company phone as she took my phone. I guess enough rambling. Im going to go to a church that she told me not to go to. She really respects these pastors. I feel i dont have anything to lose.

TKDLady · 05-18-2008, 07:58 AM

I personally think it is time for you to move on and quit beating yourself up over this. It was her decision to leave and she obviously doesn't want to come back. You are only prolonging your agony. That is just my opinion.

Luba · 05-18-2008, 10:07 AM

LS, I also think it is time for you to start thinking of being without her in your life and finding things that make you and your Son happy without her! I am trying to be gentle in saying this to you. I'm glad you are posting, talking to your Pastor, talking with you family, prayer (for a way to get through this agony for you and your Son). You WILL get through this when you start thinking more of what you can do for yourself through this difficult time! Do you have close friends to go out with? Staying in your house and thinking and worrying won't really help. Pick out the most positive people in your life and invite them for a coffee somewhere in a totally new place making new memories that are just for you. Visiting places that you used to go with your wife won't help. Try giving yourself a break and be gentle to yourself. Your Son needs you more than ever now! Take care, LS, and we're here for you!

TKDLady · 05-18-2008, 12:25 PM

I guess I am not as politically correct as Luba but she has some good ideas about getting out to new places. Places where you can make some new memories that don't include your wife. You need to think of yourself now and your son. She made her decision. Now you need to make a few for yourself. Take care LS. We do care and will be here no matter what you decide.