Day 1

lewsterrett · 05-01-2008, 08:25 AM

This is my day one of separation. i found out last night. ive been up all night. i need God.

Luba · 05-01-2008, 08:30 AM

I'm SO sorry! We are here for you; whatever you need here, just ask!

lewsterrett · 05-01-2008, 08:34 AM

my family needs prayer. i am going to try to go to work. my wife had my son last night and she is taking him to school. she says she needs time and space. there was no abuse or anything. its a long story.

Vautrin · 05-01-2008, 08:37 AM

Pray do tell. We are here to listen.

Luba · 05-01-2008, 08:43 AM

I am saying a prayer for you right now! You are SO going to receive SO much LOVE, caring and support here!

PepsiChic · 05-01-2008, 03:31 PM

we are all here to listen and help, i am so terribly sorry to here about your seperation, i pray things turn out for you. stay strong - things will get better

lewsterrett · 05-01-2008, 03:58 PM

im still in day 1. i went to work and missed a few turns on the way. my mind was not functioning. i got to work and missed a meeting by 15min a big no no. i was asked quite a few times if i was ok. i am still numb i just said yes. meeting #2 more "are you ok" questions. went to lunch and more "are you ok questions" I went home afterwards. my boss knows no one else does. he sent me home.

on my way home i stopped by a synagogue(messianic) i have been there once. I asked to speak to someone in ministry. no one was available but the nice lady manning the front desk and phones spoke with me and made me feel better.

i drove home on cloud nine listening to worship music and praising God! I prayed that my wife would be home and we would reconcile. i came around the corner and the truck wasnt in the driveway. my heart broke again.

i knew she would be by sometime to pick up clothes and such which she did.
i saw things out of place and some of her things missing.

i was crushed again. my eyes are raw i cannot make more tears. i make a few more laps around my house i see what she took and what she didnt. i know she doesnt have a place to stay. im worried about that. i am praying again. iam confused again. i am down even lower now. im trying to pick myself up before i have to pickup my son from school. i am trying to show courage around him. i dont know what to say to him. its the first time i see him after she told me last night. so im typing this out.
i have dreams, i wish to serve God. i wish to be a blessing but now i feel alone though i know God is with me. he created my life long companion and now she is gone. i know im rambling. i have the courage to say all of this here as no one knows me here

Meanon · 05-01-2008, 04:21 PM

You have more reserves of courage in your soul than you know right now, lewsterrett. Your faith will help you when you need that courage. You are not alone. Many people here have been through the pain of a separation. You have a son who loves and needs you. Tears and confusion are inevitable with a loss such as this, but I promise you whatever happens you won't always feel this way.

lewsterrett · 05-01-2008, 05:04 PM

i have picked up my son and to keep things on a normal afterschool basis he comes home has a bite to eat then goes outside to play for a while. i want to maintain his normal schedule. i spoke to him and in the car and he tells me that she is going to live away from me for a while. then we will talk and then maybe we can live together again. (Jesus, Yeshua-Hamashia) I HAVE HOPE
i have been speaking with God and he revealed to me that i have been taking her for granted. i have not been supportive and i should have been ministering right by her side. she also wants to travel and minister. i did not. i recognize my faults i can make change. things of God are very important to us. by faith i pray that she is safe in the meantime.

1 kings 20:28
King James Bible
And there came a man of God, and spake unto the king of Israel, and said, Thus saith the LORD, Because the Syrians have said, The LORD is God of the hills, but he is not God of the valleys, therefore will I deliver all this great multitude into thine hand, and ye shall know that I am the LORD.

I thank God for the valley. im in the valley and he owns it. to come out of the valley one can only go in one direction..UP!

Luba · 05-01-2008, 06:02 PM

LS, I have been home from Work ill this week, and I've been praying for you today! My heart goes out to you! Keep posting, keep writing, journalizing, praying, crying, whatevery you need to do; and we're SO here for you!

TKDLady · 05-01-2008, 09:41 PM

We are here for you LS. It is painful but the pain will get less with time. Hopefully she will return to you. I pray that she does. Stay here with us and we will do our best to help you.

Luba · 05-02-2008, 07:21 AM

Thinking of you, LS!