Counseling tomarrow

Stone · 04-18-2005, 01:50 PM

Tomarrow at 5:00 we start our first counseling session with the Church. I called a few today and nobody would take us because his bipolor disorder and substance ( alchol abuse) but I finally found one I'll let you know how it goes. We need to get along regardless of weather we are togeather or not for Noah and Ally so we'll see. I had a MAJOR ANXIETY attack this weekend and it scared the crap out of both of us.

Star · 04-18-2005, 03:30 PM

I wish you all the best with this Stone. I really do hope that it all works out for the best for all of you. Keep us updated on the progress.

Merika · 04-19-2005, 09:02 PM

How did it go?

Meanon · 04-20-2005, 05:20 AM

I hope it was helpful, stone. I think you should also go alone to see that counsellor you found helpful before. That would reduce the likelihood of you having another anxiety attack and provide you with some support

Stone · 04-20-2005, 10:07 AM

Well I went alone he didn't show up :? The theripist told me I should go to AlAnon because I choose men with addiction problems Greg has become an alcholic ect.

He claims he was running late and assumed I'd just wait for him, his story was confirmed by a co worker of mine because he came here 5 minutes after I was late. but I don't care I am detaching myself and my love and feeling from him.

Star · 04-20-2005, 10:27 AM

going to Al-Anon might be a very good thing for you to go to. In fact, it'll probably be the best thing you do. If that's what you've been doing is being attracted to guys with addictions, then that would be the best counselling for you. I went to both Al-Ateen and Al-Anon and that was the best thing I ever did for myself. It taught me to know the signs.

Stone · 04-20-2005, 11:24 AM

I will go but I don't think I will start untill the baby is born, that may not be the best decision but I only have 2 days left of work, I am so stressed out and I don't thinik my body can produce anymore tears.

I don't want to work on myself right now, him, our relationship friendship ect I just want to be pregnant... maby thats stupid but that's how I feel.

I am having a hard time accepting some very important facts, the fact that I will never beable to love again. Yes I am young I know but I just can't pull my children into another relationship, I won't let any man live with us EVER!! and that hurts me but I must do it for them. All I ever really wanted was a faimly and a husband who loves us and accepting the fact that it's not going to happen for a VERY VERY long time is painful & upsetting.

I am going to continue to go to counseling bymyself witch is crucial right now, and I am trying to distance myself from Greg in or out of the home, I have NO JOB within 2 days witch is scarry but I am going to ask him for a personal loan if he leaves, there really is no reason why he should decline I loaned him 11k last year and he didn't even ask for it, so hopefully he will loan me some money to pay my rent for the next 5 months... we'll see I am not going to set myself up for anymore dissipointment....

( WOW writing this really helped today :wink: )

Star · 04-20-2005, 11:37 AM

I think it's a good thing you're doing by concentrating on you being pregnant right now. It should be that way. The less stress that little baby feels then better.

Quote:

I am having a hard time accepting some very important facts, the fact that I will never beable to love again. Yes I am young I know but I just can't pull my children into another relationship, I won't let any man live with us EVER!! and that hurts me but I must do it for them. All I ever really wanted was a faimly and a husband who loves us and accepting the fact that it's not going to happen for a VERY VERY long time is painful & upsetting.

Stone, you will find happiness one day with a man that will love and respect you. I say the same thing. if anything ever happened that i wasn't with gerry anymore, i'd live alone with my kids forever but i am much older then you are. you're still very young. You can date, nothing wrong with that. Dating doesn't mean that you're bringing men into your home. If the kids don't see them, then it doesn't hurt them right? I would never introduce my kids to a man unless I knew that we were in love and going to have a future together. That's just common sence I think.

I think you're on the right track and in no time, you'll be happy about yourself and your life again.

darkangelism · 04-20-2005, 11:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stone

I am so stressed out and I don't thinik my body can produce anymore tears.

awww, you will be ok.

Meanon · 04-21-2005, 08:55 AM

Stone, you'll be OK. This is the worst of times when there are big changes in your life, a failing relationship and unknown future with many responsibilities. It will get better. You'll look back at this time, with your new baby settled in your new life and see it as a stage you had to go through to make a better future. At the moment you have precious little control over what is happening to you, that's one of the reasons it's so stressful.

I think you've made the right decisions, concentrate on your pregnancy and getting ready for the birth above all else, keep going to the counselling for support, keep sufficient contact with Greg to get the help you deserve from him but do not rely on him emotionally.

Try not to worry for the future or torment yourself with speculation (not fact) about being alone for a long time. When a relationship ends it makes you very vulnerable to loneliness and the urge is to rush to fill the void. It passes. It's important you get past this phase on your own so you can make the best choices for yourself, rather than being driven by transient needs. You won't need to be alone for long, unless you choose to be so. You will find love and companionship again. This is a brief but important phase, a time of change and of establishing a sound basis for your future. Manage it well and you'll find happiness again soon.

Merika · 04-21-2005, 11:00 AM

I'm sorry you are going thru such a crappy time Stone! It might be a good idea to talk to Greg about the financial arrangements before too long though. It's really an area where you need to know where you stand. Also, check on all the other benefits which you may be entitled thru with the state. When it comes to money....forget pride....get what you deserve and have paid taxes for. There are some good programs if you work the system a little. By being pregnant...you should qualify for just about everything.

Stone · 04-22-2005, 08:27 AM

I barley qualified for Medicade because I have some assets vacant land, life insurance retirement funds, stock ect... The hurricanes made us lose everything but I still qualify for CRAP. Witch is fine I am just so gald the medical is paid for

Merika · 04-22-2005, 08:33 AM

Oh Stone...I wouldn't even claim all that stuff. Close out your checking/savings accounts and put any money in a safe deposit box. That system is so screwed up....they will never know because no one ever checks anything. You would also qualify for legal aid as far as paternity/child support help.

Once you aren't working....then you fall under the expedited group because your income changed drastically within the past 10 days.

Stone · 04-22-2005, 08:52 AM

Hummm good point BTW today is my last day of work!!! WIPPPIIIEEE!!

Merika · 04-22-2005, 09:17 AM

Yes....but what will you do without a puter at home? Can you get it fixed?

Stone · 04-22-2005, 09:38 AM

HAHA it's not BROKe I am taking after you and procrastanating LOL

I had to move my office into my bedroom so I could start Allysons room, looks great BTW :wink: So Yesterday I set up my computer now I have to go to Radio Shack and buy a cable splitter, and all these friggin wires and crap to set up my Internet..... That's just to overwehming to think about I'm going to have my dad over this weekend maby he can do it for me