Your Child and the Law

Merika · 11-01-2004, 08:34 PM

I'll wait and let Snoopy tell his own story....but he has gotten himself into some very serious trouble.

If you were/are a parent who's child got in trouble with the law...would you work at getting leniency on the child or would you take off the kid gloves, making excuses and let them learn a good lesson?

Really think about it because it's amazing how confusing the choice is when it's your child.

Stone · 11-01-2004, 08:46 PM

Don't do it!! I am a perfect teenage example of " I fought the law and the law won" I got in to so much trouble when I was a kid, and my parents always talked about getting me out of it, I always thought they would and got into more trouble untill they threw in the towel and said "I am not fighting for you anymore" and that was a good lesson, I commited the crime and I needed to suffer the consequenses peirod. Better to learn now than when an adult because when your an adult it is preminant nobody can fight for you but an EXPENSIVE lawyer and it stays with you forever, I would advise to give tough love now, better to learn now when his records can be sealed than later. Kids have to learn their own lessons with the law, In my opinion it should be out of the parents hands on what happends in court, BUT it is in parents hands on how to add to the punshiment to make sure this never happens again. Tough love sucks, but it works :wink:

Sorry Snoop,

Merika · 11-01-2004, 08:53 PM

Thanks for posting that Stoneheather. I appreciate what you said so very much. It really helps!

I think as parents we DO have a tendency to make excuses our kids long after we should expect more responsibility out of them.

Stone · 11-01-2004, 09:07 PM

I am sure it's hard when your kids make MISTAKES ( I haven't dealt with that one yet Noah is to young)

But if you look at it a diffrent way is it a better lesson to pay for your actions and learn from them or to let someone take care of them for you?

Star · 11-01-2004, 09:31 PM

As a parent who's had to finally use the "tough love" route with my child, I say, tough love it! I made the mistake of always saving my daughter's butt and it got me nowhere. got her into even deeper trouble.

I've learned that if they're big enough to do the crime, then they're big enough to do the consequence that goes with it. It's not easy to do as a parent. Our first instinct is to run and save them but it doesn't help them any if you do. It's even harder to do when your kid is crying and begging. That's why it's called tough love. gotta be tough.

The best lesson a kid can learn is by experiencing the consequence to his/her actions.

Duke · 11-01-2004, 09:31 PM

If it means a criminal record then I'd try and do everything to protect my child but really put the screws to the kid.

If it meant a lot of legal punishment that wouldn't follow them in the form of a record then I'd make them take the brunt of it.

Star · 11-01-2004, 09:36 PM

i don't know how the criminal records work in the states but here in canada, when the kid turned 18, everything they've done before that is gone. they start off as adults with no criminal record.

Stone · 11-01-2004, 09:42 PM

Yep 18 starts a new slate IF you get it sealed by the state, usually it gets sealed I got in to all my trouble before I was 18 and my record is clean ( thank friggin god)

If the crime isn't recorded and it happends a 2nd or 3rd time the officials have no way of knowing who the repeat offenders are to get the children the possible help they may need.

Duke · 11-01-2004, 09:51 PM

I was a little angel and continue to be one to this very day :<0>:

Merika · 11-01-2004, 09:53 PM

As Stoneheather said.....you can petition to have the records sealed at 18. It shouldn't mess up his whole life. He probably never could work for the FBI or CIA though...or get high security clearance in the military.

He sounded good on the phone this evening. He is homesick. but said he felt safe and everyone treated him nice. It was just real loud in there.

Once he's home, since he will be restricted to the house....I don't know if I should take away his computer or TV though. I did take the PS2 console and new game he traded for.

Stone · 11-01-2004, 09:58 PM

He can still get any job he want's I have a juvinile wrap sheet the size of TEXAS and I got approved to go the the police Academy ( never did) I have been offered a position to be a youth probation officer and now I hold licenses with the SEC he'll be fine, don't worry :wink:

Duke · 11-01-2004, 10:08 PM

He'll be fine if he stops messing around is more likely. I'm hoping this isn't the beginning of a career in crime, more of an end.

Sorry Merika, just playing devils advocate.

Star · 11-01-2004, 10:09 PM

I'm happy to hear that he's OK. When does he get to come home?

The punishment will have to be what you feel is right for your son. You know him best.

Like Stoneheather said, you have no worries where his future is concerned right now as a juvenile. He can still be anything he wants to be with no problems.

you know here, with the new juvenile laws they have (this is how rediculous it is), if a child commits murder, under juvenile law here, they get 3 years tops (and that's tops! they usually get a lot less than that. sometimes even just probation) and their criminal record is non-existant when they turn 18. 8O

Merika · 11-01-2004, 10:10 PM

Do you know anything about First Degree Felonies? I think that's as bad as it can get without armed robbery. This is because it was considered a government building and goods.

Stone · 11-01-2004, 10:13 PM

Chances are he will get a lesser charge, if the Public Defender asks for it. and if he pleads guilty for a lesser charge

If he pleads NOT GUILTY to anything it can go to trial and he can be stuck with a 1st degree felony.

Just to give you a heads up he probably will be sent to a Juvinile School witch can make matters worse, because then he is socialising with the bad kids.