would you let your kids act like you did?

[darkangelism]

Would you let your kids act the wya you did when you were young...not pay atttention to school, get in trouble or sleep around?

[Star]

it's not a matter of "letting". I would love not to "let" my child do whatever it is that she does but I can't do that. parents don't really have that power after they reach a certain age.

When the kids were young, there were rules they needed to follow. it was much easier back then to control what I didn't want them to do then it is now on;y because their world was a little smaller then it is now. I still have rules and Kassandra is very good at obeying the rules.

As for not paying attention at school or sleep around. that's totally out of our control. we can't follow our kids everywhere they go therefore can't stop them from doing things out of our sight. If my daughter chooses to sleep around, there isn't a darn thing i can do about it to stop her. If my other one doesn't pay attention at school, all i can do is ground her but if she continues to choose this, there isn't much i can do to stop that.

As our kid's world gets bigger, our parental control gets to be less.

[darkangelism]

my parents made me not make their mistakes.

[Stone]

The news that I am having a girl terrifies me when she turns in to a teen, knowing how I was I think I should invest in a chasity belt and a nanny cam for her backpack :wink: LMAO

[Star]

Then you were an extremely obedient child.

My daughter has a willful mind and there isn't anything i can do to stop her from doing anything she wants to do. whether it's right or wrong. I've taught her all the good morals and values that a parent should teach their kids but her choices are hers. she owns them. Aside from putting her in chains locked to a railing, there isn't anything i can do.

I didn't raise my kids to grow up and live the life that I wanted to live. I want them to live their own lives and make their own decisions. I taught them to be independant and strong. Both my kids were raised that way but my oldest chose to use that in a negative way. My youngest is utilizing that to her advantage for her future.

I talk to my kids. I give them advice. Whether they listen to the advice or decide to test it and make mistakes is their choice. You know DA, you don't learn much in life if you don't make mistakes and learn from them. That's all part of growing up. Mistakes, no matter how big or small teach you something.

As I made my share of mistakes throughout my life, perhaps not as big as my daughter has, I learned from them and turned out to be a responsible, sensitive, strong person that loves her children to the fullest. My daughter will eventually learn from her mistakes too one day and become the woman I hoped she would become. I have total faith in the future. She might be getting her education later then the norm but she will get there one day. I know that because I raised her right and I know I have. She's a mini-me that's a bit more wild then i was. she'll come around one day. I know because I did.

The point is that we as parents can't "make" our children do anything they don't want to do especially after they reach a certain age. They are their own people inside.

[Star]

Originally Posted by Stoneheather

The news that I am having a girl terrifies me when she turns in to a teen, knowing how I was I think I should invest in a chasity belt and a nanny cam for her backpack :wink: LMAO

You know SH, maybe I'm just the only one who got it back twice as bad. LMAO!! I'm hoping Erika doesn't give it back twice as bad as krystal did. If she does that, I'm in big trouble!! 8O

Isn't it too bad we couldn't see into the future? LOL!

[Stone]

OMG don't say that star twice as bad as me is like Anna Nicole Smith or WORSE.

My parents raised me very well, they we're loving, had set rules, good dicipline and I was grounded alot the problem with me was I was told " Go to your room you can't go out with your friends for a week" and I gladly went to my room and gladly exited out the window and came back a week later... I was just a rebelious wild child it was in my soul can't escape it.

[Star]

I was the same way heather and krystal is that way also. nothing anyone can do to stop that until the kid grows out of it.

I don't think you have anything to worry about sh. i just got lucky. 8O

[darkangelism]

i am obiedent, like a dog, i take orders well.I hate making mistakes because i was always punished for making them...once i was 3 minutes late home and i was grounded for a week.

[Stone]

Your parents seem pretty strick from other things you have said DA but I do think you have turned out to be a great man...

[darkangelism]

wow thats pretty bad SH, i always wondered what it was like to be like that, and not boring and dependable

[Stone]

It took many many years for people to re learn how to depend on me, trust me, ect. If I could do it all over again I would have been a good kid.

[Star]

grounded for a week for being 3 minutes late? that is extremely strict. Me being me, I would've rebelled to that big time. My parents tried to be strict but we didn't listen to tem. we got beatings and grounded too but it did no good. we were way too strong headed.

[darkangelism]

yeah my parents were very strict on some things, and not at all on others...they didnt care about porn or drinking.

[Merika]

Originally Posted by star_64

The point is that we as parents can't "make" our children do anything they don't want to do especially after they reach a certain age. They are their own people inside.

Spoken like a true Mom of a teenager. At some point, there really isn't anything you can do. You can play with a few restrictions...but they only work if you can actually get a kid to follow them.

[Duke]

I would never make my daughter do anything because I know she's like me in many ways. If I were to force her to do things my way, she'd eventually start hiding things from me and lying. All I can hope for is that she discusses things with me, asks for and respects my opinion and does what's best for her. I love her with all my heart and will stand by her regardless of her lifes decisions.

Of course this doesn't mean that I'll be complacent if she makes a bad choice, but I'm not going to build a wall of ignorance between us because I think she made a bad choice and thinks I'm dissappointed or angry.