What do you do different...

Duke · 10-12-2004, 08:11 PM

than your parents?

For me, I don't drink or smoke. I also don't believe in hitting my child either. I don't believe my mother really believed in it either but my dad had no problem embracing the concept.

How about you?

Stone · 10-12-2004, 08:45 PM

I don't force my child to eat things he hates. My mom always made me eat brussle sprouts and crap like that. and I was never allowed to get up from the table untill I ate whatever she cooked.

I do see the concept in it though.... Sometimes I feel like a Cafiteria to my son, he gets like 3 choices for dinner.

Duke · 10-12-2004, 08:47 PM

Good point, I don't make my daughter eat onions because my dad always cooked with lots of them despite the fact they always made me gag.

I do ask that she at least try new foods. If she tries it and doesn't like it then that's fine. If she automatically doesn't like it because she'd rather hit a drive thru then that's not acceptable.

Merika · 10-14-2004, 03:33 PM

I'm totally the opposite from how my parents viewed parenthood. The older I get, or lets say my children get, the more I think my parents had the ticket.

I had a good childhood....but there was no goofing with the rules.

One time my brother, when he was 16, got in trouble with drugs. He was such a hellion. My parents promptly rented him some studio HOVEL apartment and left him there. He thought he was real big till he realized no one was cooking for him, doing his laundry....nor was he part of a family. He cried, apologized and moved back home in a month.

He is now a preacher and a very good man.

What I don't do as a parent is FOLLOW THROUGH on a threat. If you tell your child that a certain punishment is in store for their actions ...I think you should stick to your word. This is my biggest slack as a parent.

Duke · 10-15-2004, 09:48 AM

I'm not for or against my parents skills at raising children. I like aspects of what was done, but disagree with much of what I experienced.

My mom parented well. No matter what happened we always got a sense that she loved us. Not only through her actions but the fact she told us a gazillion times a day and continues to even now. I have the utmost of respect for my mom and try to mirror much of what she taught me.

My dad parented through fear whether he knows it or not. That works with boys only until they outgrow dad. The hatred grows as young boys and turns into contempt as adults.

Two vastly different approaches to parenting. Guess which one I chose?

Merika · 10-15-2004, 12:35 PM

When I think of how many kids have had to grow up with one or more crappy parents.....it just makes me sad!

Duke · 10-15-2004, 08:05 PM

That's why I do my best to understand the situation before parenting it. In fact, I actually try and co-parent with my daughter and she responds well. She's no idiot and knows the difference between right and wrong and my views on what is right and wrong. So long as we continue with our relationship into her teens, I feel confident she'll do well. Of course she'll make a few errors, all I can do is hope there not life altering ones.

Luba · 12-03-2006, 05:23 PM

Quote:

My mom parented well. No matter what happened we always got a sense that she loved us. Not only through her actions but the fact she told us a gazillion times a day and continues to even now. I have the utmost of respect for my mom and try to mirror much of what she taught me.

Wow! That gave me a lump in my throat and tears came by! I wish I had the chance to parent you boys ALL over again, there are things I would do WAY better...maybe telling you again a 'gazillion X infinity' how grateful I am to be your Mom and how much I love you both!

Vautrin · 12-03-2006, 05:58 PM

No smoking. Getting a good degree. Actually use of planes. International relationship... there are quite a few things I do, my parents did not. (and vice versa).