Think you have bad kids?

[Duke]

Ever wonder how they got that way? If you stop and think about it, no matter what age and what stage your child is in, the first critical years were spent in your company. You may want to ask yourself, who is really responsible?

MSNBC and Dr. Ruth Peters take a look at what may be the reasons behind your kids temperment and also gives us some alarming statistics about todays youth such as:

- 70 percent of high school students admit to having used cigarettes.
- 47 percent report having used marijuana.
- 19 percent seriously considered suicide during the 12 months preceding the survey.
- 50 percent have had sexual intercourse.
- About one million teenagers become pregnant each year; 95 percent of those pregnancies are unintended and almost one-third end in abortions.

As you can see, some of the statistics are less than flattering.

[Merika]

I'm a firm believer that early on - children become a mirror image of their parents. How we act and maybe more importantly REACT to life around us is much like they will do once they are preteen and teen.

I was getting on to my teenage daughter last weekend for throwing stuff around and yelling because she couldn't find what she was looking for. Then I realized....she sounded just like me.

With broken homes and many kids have to deal with 'the boyfriend' of the month....they see a whole life many of us didn't have shoved at us while we were developing. I never saw my parents fight, drink or smoke. Therefore, I wasn't trying to emulate that while in middle school and high school.

I wish I had the awareness when MY kids were younger to pay attention to how I responded to life, it's problems, it's stresses and when I was disappointed. I wish I had been more like my parents instead of thinking I was so liberated and free with my kids.

Unfortunately, this is a lesson learned to late for many parents....including myself.

[Duke]

I bet if your kids actually saw this post, their reactions may suprise you. Many parents act as if they can do no wrong in the eyes of their children which is completely idiotic. It's imperative that you are the same person in front of them that you are anywhere els. Even if you think you're hiding something about yourself from your kids then you're fooling yourself. Kids watch us very closely rather we realize it or not. They also mimic our behavior as you've noticed so it's better to be upfront and realistic with your kids rather than 00ber parent.

[Merika]

Think you have bad kids?

To answer the question....I tell my children they weren't born....they were SPAWNED!

[Duke]

Not too far off since the sperm actually swims to the egg ;-)

[Isis]

IN my opinion you are all right but you are also missing somthing...when kids get into their Rebellious Teen years the things we do are somtimes not at all what you as a parent do...sometimes we actually do things that we KNOW will make you mad just so we have a reason to say that "if you didnt yell at me i would like you more"

So partents, you cant Always blame yourselves for things that we do because we have lived with you so long that we know just how far we can push you until you blow up...i hope im nopt breaking any kids secrecy codes... :oops:

[Merika]

Well....I be DANG!


Santa knows and will remember. No gifts for YOU this year!

[Duke]

That's no secret to me Isis, I remember my childhood like it happened 5 minutes ago. Actually, I'm not sure if I've yet made the transformation from child to adult.

[Star]

You know, always blaming the parents isn't the right thing in a lot of cases.

Take my case for instance. My little baby Krystal whom I loved, protected, cherished, cared for; the little one who would never leave my side ran from us at age 13 and we didn't know why. I don't think we caused that to happen at all. I think that was all out of our control and it was her doing, not ours. We did try everything that we possibly can to get her to come to her sences before our fear of her getting pregnant or having some deadly decease happened but our efforts failed. We were there throwing the life saving devices and she wasn't taking them.

But, I will say that I just recently figured out the root of where it might of all started. A light bulb finally went off in my head and I think I figured out the piece of the puzzle that we've been missing and I bet that Krystal doesn't even realize that this is why she started behaving the way that she did in the first place.

We had Kassandra when Krystal was 3 1/2 yrs old (hubby came into her life when she was 1 yr. old, adopted her at 7 yrs old). For 2 1/2 yrs, she has had all of her daddy's attention and she was the apple of his eye, he was proud of her and she knew it. When Kassandra was born (his biological daughter), Krystal felt that she lost her daddy. She's been feeling that she wasn't daddy's girl anymore because kassandra came along. Which wasn't true at all because hubby always paid as much attention to krystal as he did kassandra but Krystal must have felt something different that we missed.

She ended up with a 23 year old guy. that to me is as plain as the nose on my face that she's looking for a father figure, a daddy. she's craving to be daddy's girl again. so i told hubby this and he's realized it also and promises to fix it so that krystal knows that she is daddy's girl and that he does love her as much as kassandra and in the same way.

We as parents are not perfect and never will be. we make mistakes along the way but if we realize the mistakes that we make and fix them, then it's ok. As kids learn from their mistakes, so do parents.

[Merika]

I think you are onto something there for sure Star. I imagine the whole sibling rivalry for parent's attention and feeling displaced goes a long way.

I wonder if anyone in here remembers how they felt when a younger child was born into the family. I remember Isis actually tried to drown Sn00py when he was born to see if he would make 'bubbles' in the tub.

I wasn't real fond of my younger brother either.

[Duke]

When my younger brother was born I don't really remember feeling any jealousy. I was and still am my own person so I never felt the need to compete with him. I love my brother dearly to this day but never see him much.

[Star]

I was an only child until i was 2 yrs old then my brother came along. I'm told (and there is a picture of me doing this) that i used to go to my brother's crib and take his soother out of his mouth just to make him cry. I never really got along with that particular brother but the next 2 I'm really close to. I am working on having somewhat of a relationship with him but he makes it hard. He's got this warped sence of humor that makes my blood boil. He insults everyone and thinks it's funny. not my cup of tea.

[Duke]

I used to do that too star, it wasn't funny but I thought it was at the time. For me it was a stage and maybe it is for your brother as well, hopefully.

[Star]

at the age he's at now (38) you'd think the stage would be over?!? 8O

Oh well, such is life i suppose.