Suprise Suprise

[Stone]

Merika You cursed me!!!

I took a pregnancy test this morning and it was positive, I am not sure if I am happy or not I just thought I would share.

[Duke]

Congradulations, or dammit.

Whichever is more appropriate.

[Stone]

It's more of a dammit right now, ( not that I won't be happy next week :wink: ) but everything was going so well for me, I just started my own business, I just bought a new car that isn't a faimly car by any means, I just applied for health insurance and being pregnant is a pre existing condition so it won't be covered, and Greg and my relationship is VERRY VERRY rocky AND I PLANNED ON GOING ON MY CRUISE FRIDAY AND GETTING SLAMED DRUNK!!!!! ( I will deffinatly get a biniki picture because I will be as big as Jabba the Hut soon )

[Merika]

awwwwww.....

Well CONGRATULATIONS! Just because it isn't planned, nor the timing is perfect, somehow it all works out. It will be wonderful for Noah and also for you and Greg. How is Greg feeling about it?

You'll have to keep up a pregnancy diary on here....so as we get other young pregnant women.....they can read yours and know what to expect.

[Stone]

We are both very shocked, he is happy he didn't think he could have kids... I am fertal mertel :? He already is a good daddy to Noah but he is already talking about marriage and we just foudn out 3 hours ago..... i just wanted things to be diffrent. I wanted to be married first, and have a house, but we'll manage.

I am consirned because we have had alot of relationship problems latley and I have been really mean to him.... i guess now I know why

[Star]

well, congratulations!!! A baby can do wonders to a family. Things happen for a reason and God doesn't hand you anything you can't handle so I know you'll do great! I bet Noah is thrilled to know he'll have a little brother or sister in the near future.

[Stone]

I wish I could tell Noah now he would be so happy, but I am going to wait untill I am in my 3rd trimestor, he will lose his patience and heaven forbid anything we're to happen to the baby i wouldn't know how to tell him. but as the day progresses I am excited, I already looked at baby names

Oh speaking of witch have you guys looked in to baby names for your grandson?

[Duke]

Well I guess I'll go with the congradulations.

Too bad though, I was looking forward to partying it up with you on that cruiseship ;-)

[Meanon]

OMG! Congratulations Stoneheather. I see why you have concerns and the timing may not be great but you know that when that baby arrives, all that will get swept away. Noah will be thrilled too.

[Duke]

The timing is never really right for having a child. If we all waited for it to be the right time then there wouldn't be overpopulation.

[twinkle]

Congrats, Heather!
Think a lot about your baby and about the place it will take in your life... I'm very happy for you, I'm 24 and the thought of having a baby did cros my mind! But it'll be extremely bad timing for me.I have everything planned out for the next two years, that makes me a pro-choice person, I guess.


One of teachers is pregnant and will soon leave us. She's so funny and cute with her big belly. Thanks Lord, she doesn't look as if she were sick or uncomfortable. She's just... really big right now, LOOL!!!!


Hon, don't hate me for saying this, but try to take it easy on the liquor... You (already) have someone else to think about. I'm sure you'll be cautios (send me one naughy pic, too!!! I won't share)

[Stone]

I won't be drinking at all anymore, or smoking but that's o.k.

For some reason I just am not happy and can't get excited about it. I told my father last night and he won't talk to me, He told my mother that he was just begining to be so proud of me and I have come such along way with my career and everything and now he thiks I am ruining everything I worked so hard for as much as I hate to say it I would have to agree.

I have never thought of abortion as a choice for me, but I do not discriminate it, I can't help to think how much eaiser my life would be if I just got one, but I think the guilt would haunt me for the rest of my life, that being said Greg has brought it up several times witch doesn't make me feel so great about the situation.

One minute he says we need to terminate the pregnancy and the next he says a baby will be a nice addition to our faimly and we should get married asap. This will be my 2nd child as an unwed mother at a very young age, but before I got pregnant I was entertaining that fact of having another one soon, I don't know what to do.

[Stone]

Sorry as I read thru this post I am noticing what a rollercoaster I have been on in the past couple days

[Meanon]

It's not surprising you are concerned, Stone heather, given that you and Greg have had your ups and downs. Don't let other people's expectations get to you. You are the best judge of what's best for you, not your Dad.

It's quite normal to have mixed feelings, there's all those pesky hormones for a start without all the additional pressures that you have had recently.

You have a lot on your plate with the needs of your family as it is, you have to know you could cope alone with your responsibilities if you need to. Hopefully that won't be necessary, but feeling secure and settled is all about knowing you can cope with whatever comes. Noah would love a sibling, but his welfare is also a priority.

The only way to explore all of this is to carefully weigh up all the options for and against and think about what the consequences would be. You will live with whatever you decide for the rest of your life, you need to know it's the right choice for you. It's best to do this in counselling, as there are fewer vested interests and the focus is more on you and your family. We're here for you to talk to as well, do PM me if you want to.

You are a strong woman, stoneheather, you'll be fine.

[twinkle]

Hi, Heather

I read your post,and Meanon is right. You have to live with this decision or situation (meaning "persons" ) for the rest of your life.

You can have children whenever you want. Prefferably when you can provide food on their table also. If you can have enough money to send them to a good school, that's even better.

The main point, Heather,is that you have to want this baby.For you.Not for Greg or for Noah.


Not so long ago,you were ready to leave your bf.Did he pay you back? Let's assume he disapears. Can you financially afford to raise 2 kids by yourself? Raise them when they'll be 16,two cars, 2 college funds,etc,etc.

Think and se what it is that you want and what it is you can handle. I pray for you to find in your heart the courage to make the decision you feel is best.

Love,

Twinkle

[Stone]

This morning I decided to do some reasurch on abortion and educate myself about the proceduers, religious acpects, and fetus development everything was fine and I thought I was really going to consider it, untill I came across a HORRENDIOUS site with pictures of aborted fetues and such and I started balling at work, The memories of that will always be in my mind and there is no way I can choose that for myself.

I can afford to raise 2 children on my own and I will if needed but after this I am getting my tubes tied.

[Meanon]

That is consistent with your wish to have a child in the past and your initial joy. It's just the practical problems that are scaring you right now.

Still, take your time Stoneheather. I strongly recommend you at least talk it through with that counsellor you visited once who was so helpful. I know your situation is different, it doesn't matter. She'll still help. Those sites are resigned to produce that reaction. You need calm and careful judgements. You need to handle the emotional side too, I'm not saying you shouldn't face the reality of what abortion is, but make a considered decision, don't just rely on an emotional knee jerk response. You could regret it later.

Personally I think you will keep the baby but I'd feel happier knowing you have had objective support in exploring it properly so that you are more comfortable with the choice in the long term.

As for the future, yours will be happy. You're a knock out, you have high life expectations, you're fun and you have a lot of talent. That bf of yours will either sort himself out so you can rely on him a little more or you'll have enough of him and meet the man of your dreams within a year, I bet. Don't get those tubes tied just yet!

[Merika]

Stoneheather,
Remember how adamant Star and Krystal (her daughter) were in not keeping the baby due to Krystal only being 16? Then as the birth came nearer.....BOTH decided they wanted that baby more than anything in the world.

The same thing, as I've posted, happened when I got pregnant with my youngest. The night before I was going to the hospital to be induced....I just cried apologizing to God about not wanting the baby. I felt no love, no warmth....no nothing!

Then when he was born I looked at him and all the love I hadn't felt....all flooded in at one time. It was a tremendous feeling. As I've said... to this day I can look at him and remember that overwhelming love I had for him. I was SO GLAD he was born and in my life.....even with his birth complicating my wanting to leave the marriage.

Just because this baby has come at an unexpected time, your family doesn't seem thrilled and Greg is being all wishy-washy over it.....my personal feeling is that it doesn't make a baby disposable. I would never make a judgement on someone else's choice.....but it sure wouldn't be the right choice for me.

I know with Noah's health problems....you have more than enough to deal with. I can't make the choice for you. However, follow your heart and the voice of your spirit and you'll make the right one.

WHATEVER your choice is....you'll be supported by all your friend here.

[Stone]

Thanks guys ( Hugs) there is no way I can abort it after seeing those horrid pics, after seeing that I want to pin them up outside every abortion clinic in town

Things are getting better, I called the hospital and asked if I can pre pay for the delivery and I can, it's not as bad of a price as I thought so that is good, I am going to try to put an ad in the paper and try to sell my car plus that will help my credit if it gets paid off quickly :wink: and I made an appointment with the counsler I see her after my cruise.

Maby the cruise will help, my girlfriend is going with me now so I am happy she says it's a Bon Voyage to our youth ( she's getting married) She was being sarcastic but It's somewhat true and I can accept that and be happy about it.

Merika your story made me cry ( I've been doing that alot lately ... dammed hormones ) i too feel horrible for not having love for the baby, but I know when I see it I will to be overwhelmed with love.

[Meanon]

That's great news, Stoneheather. I'm glad the doubts have gone. The love will come. A child is life's greatest gift.

I'm so glad your friend is able to go on the cruise. You'll have a great time. As for your farewell to youth, that may be a little premature. I have 2 kids, I'm 38, the urge to party is still there!

[Merika]

That cruise SHOULD HAVE Meanon and I on it!! We are the ones who have wanted an excursion for months now!!!!!

[Stone]

we'll hop abord you have 48 hours to get a ticket Then you can go see your house in Miami at the same time LOL

[Duke]

You've been fine Stoneheather, don't sweat it.

I tried to have my ex terminate her pregnancy at the beginning and conceded to stfu because she couldn't make up her mind and I got tired of listening to the babble. In truth, I new the relationship was d00med and I just wanted to be a zillion miles away from her with no strings to attach us.

We had the baby of course and she turned out to be the best person I've ever had the privaledge of knowing, not to mention, being a father to. She is the center of my universe and I can't imagine life without her. I do feel guilty sometimes over my stance 10 years ago about not giving the fetus a chance to become the female she is.

I'm not anti-abortion either. I believe a female should have the right to chose what happens to her body. Men should have no say in that decision unless specifically asked for it.

Keeping the baby is the right choice though Stoneheather and I applaud you for making it. Way to go!!