Still struggling with abortion decision

Stone · 11-29-2004, 09:51 AM

I think I like to tourcher myself!! LOL I can't make a desicion without second guessing it.

I posted my resume on a local job serch to see what I would qualify for even though I am not even looking for a job. and I got several responses from Wonderful companies one of them was the companies of all companies one I never dreamed of working for Meryill Lynch, also Amsouth Bank responded as well as American Express Financial ect. and Meryil Linch will pay for the rest of my schooling if I sign a contract to work there for 3 years!! OMG!! That's Gravy money for a long long time.

In the meantime the CPA I work for part time had a talk with me and basically told me what a moron I am for getting pregnant. He said he has watched me struggle for 4 years and I was finally getting to the point where I had the world by the balls and on my way to sucess now I will have to struggle twice as hard to keep it....

This is very true.

Every man I know thinks I should get an abortion while every woman I know thinks I should keep it, I still don't know what I want. I wish I could fuigure it out before it's to late...

Thanks for listening to me cry guys I know your probably sick of it... I know I am

Star · 11-29-2004, 11:37 AM

What other people think you should do should have nothing to do with your decision. They're not the ones who will have to live with whatever you decide, you will.

The decision has to come from you and the father of your baby.

calizza · 11-29-2004, 12:55 PM

Wow, even though what Star said is true, I (a man) will tell you what my opinion is. Keep it. I honestly think the CPA you work for is the moron.
This is all I can say atm without possibly hurting feelings.

Stone · 11-29-2004, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by calizza

This is all I can say atm without possibly hurting feelings.

It's nearly impossible to hut my feelings :wink:

calizza · 11-29-2004, 01:25 PM

Duke · 11-29-2004, 07:18 PM

I'm neither pro nor against abortion.

Is there any merit in telling these future employers that you are an expectant mother?

BTW, anyone who says your an idiot if you don't get an abortion is someone you don't need to ask for advice.

BTW, I don't think I've ever seen you cry over and over again Stoneheather. I'm very glad that you feel the comfort here to share this part of your life, thank you!

Merika · 11-30-2004, 11:07 AM

There are LOTS of women in high profiles jobs who are pregnant or have young children. To think they can't handle it is archaic thinking! I'd not only be PISSED if my employer told me such a thing....but I would consider suing for discrimination. That's just stupid.

Star is right though....the only people who can make this decision is you and Greg. I don't think a career choice should be a determining factor. I'm not sure what the determining factor should be though. I'm not real open minded in this area and of little help.

All you can do is follow your heart.

Meanon · 11-30-2004, 11:34 AM

Hugs to you Stoneheather. I bet the damned hormones aren't helping.

Everything you've said so far indicates you want the child but are unsure about whether it's the right choice. Have you seen he counsellor yet? That may help. What is it you fear?

You're young and you're bright and determined, you'll have the world by the balls again. It will be harder with two kids, but you wanted two anyway and this way you get the early years out of the way together. If it's financial hardship and the possibility of coping alone then you need to work through that - would you be able to manage? If not, could you cope with an abortion?

I've made many compromises in my career for my family and it's had an effect which I'm certainly feeling for the first time now. I don't have any regrets though, I made the best choices I could at the time. You will too, stoneheather. You'll make the right choices for you.

Do get some advice about the how the law affects you in relation to going for new jobs too. Here treating people differently on the basis of pregnancy is indirect discrimination, so they wouldn't ask at recruitment. It still happens, though. You may not be entitled to paid maternity leave, however. Don't dismiss the option of going for the great job with training and remaining pregnant without looking into it first.

Meanon · 11-30-2004, 11:34 AM

TRIPLE post - my computer is on the blink. Merika - would you send your friend over here to sort it out when he's finished with yours? Ta!

Stone · 11-30-2004, 12:59 PM

I can still take these jobs pregnant, but I don't want to add the stress of pregnancy with the stress of passing financial exams, learning new porducts, nor do I wish to start a job if I can't give 110%. I guess these jobs would be available after the baby to.

My boss is more like a faimly member uncle like friend, mI've known him forever. , I don't think he meant to insult me, he was just trying to get me to think and I did. :wink:

Duke · 11-30-2004, 07:03 PM

Well I don't think he helped you at all actually and I think that's the general feeling judging by the previous posts.

Merika · 12-01-2004, 08:39 AM

Meanon....I don't think it's your puter causing the double and triple posts. I've deleted several in the last couple of days from a variety of people. I'll mention it to Duke. I think it's just the way it sends. If you hit send more than once, even if you think it didn't take, it posts it as many times as you've sent it. As I mentioned on another thread, there IS an edit option which allows you to edit your own posts...even weeks later. You aren't stuck in an editing 'time frame' like many other forums.

Stoneheather, I've got to admit if I got pregnant at this point of my life....I TOO would struggle with what to do. I would ulitmately keep the baby, as I have no choice within MY own heart, but I wouldn't begrudge someone for the choices they felt they had to make within THEIR own heart.

twinkle · 12-01-2004, 11:41 AM

Heather,

Gosh, I'll play the devil's advocate.

MERILL LYNCH? I'd kill barehanded for it! Just point me the person. And I don't even want to work in finance.

Chances like that... hardly once in your life time. I'm busting my ass in school, I'm a foreigner, I cannot tell you the crap I take for spelling wrong in French... All my struggle, all the effort is for that, for one chance. One chance to make it.

Think if you want the baby. If you wan it, the hell with big companies. It's what's important to you that matters.

What do you want? Where do you want to be in 4 years? Near whom? I'd hate to be in your shoes.

May God light your path, Heather, for it's probably the most important decision you'll ever be forced to make.

Love,

Twinkle

Duke · 12-01-2004, 06:35 PM

I am aware of the double and triple posting as I've been deleting them here over the past 3 or 4 days. The site seems to be experiencing sporatic slowdowns when replying to a topic for some unknown reason. If you experience said slowdown, please do not hit the submit button again as you will double/triple post.

If it continues I'll contact my webhost and ask what the deal is. I usually give it a week unless the problem is very bad.

Anyway, hijack over.