Son's out of control

[Stone]

I have had quite extensive behavioral problems with my son this month I even took him to the doctor to see what was wrong with him and the doctor said it was me He said I need to stop feeling sorry for him and dicipline him. :x

Example tonight he went to bed and after he had been acting up all day I told my b/f ( might as well be his dad) to deal with him.. My son freaked out, kicked screamed, threw his toys and really disrespected my b/f. So I asked him to apoligise and I was calling Santa.. Well that just made him more upset. He screamed so loud then I think my neighbor is going to think I am killing the poor child and threw himself on the floor AGAIN and put his fingers down his throat untill he threw up, then he screamed louder after he threw up. ( this going on for about 45 minutes of solid screaming) I just walked outside smoked a ciggarette and cried myself. After I walked in my b/f was frantically trying to calm him down with no sucess so my son started hitting himself.. finally he calmly came out and asked me for CANDY!!! ( yea right) I said no and he just fell asleep crying after about 1 1/2 hours now...

I really don't know what to do, I've tried putting him in the corner, he won't stand up, I've tried taking his stuff away, he doesn't care, I have spanked him before but it doesn't get me anywhere.... What is left to do?

Sorry fot the long post..... This was a rant as well

[Duke]

I hate to say it, but if you've been soft with your son for some time now, controlling his behavoir is going to be a real struggle. You must be firm and show him no weakness and sooner or later (believe it) he'll give it up.

If he doesn't, you may be looking at a deeper problem that only a child therapist can help you with.

BTW, don't apologize for the post, it's quite understandable. If I may be so bold to ask, are you a naturally apologetic person? If so, your son may see it and know he can crack you.

Sorry to pry, but you've apologized in a few posts for asking very good, thought provoking questions and I'm just curious I guess. I love kids but I also love caring parents.

[Stone]

Yea now that you say it I do apoligise an awaful lot. Everytime I talk to somebody I always hear "Don't be sorry" or " Sorry for what" hum... I'll have to work on that... thanks for pointing that out Duke

You should be a shrink!

[Duke]

rofl, that's fricken hilarious.

Good thing I wasn't drinking or I'd be sending you the bill for a new monitor.

[Stone]

LOL... glad I made you laugh tonight!

[Duke]

Just looking in a mirror does that for me.

Actually, I have no knowledge of anything specific when it comes to family relationships. I just have this blind faith that there is always a better way and understand that we all care. It's just up to each of us to try and understand one another and communicate effectively with love and caring.

I must be having flashbacks because I seem to love everyone and am being a big softie tonight. :marshmellowdance:

[Paul]

as Duke said, no need to apologize for the questions, especially because that's what we're here for! Of course not everyone has all the answers but it's so much better when you can have a place where you feel comfortable enough to ask a serious question and get a resonable and intelligent answer.

[Duke]

or if I'm replying, scratch intelligent.

[Merika]

I was calling Santa by Stoneheather

That was hilarious! I wish I would've thought of that when my kids were younger.

You know what Stoneheather, and I've posted this, I was very lenient with my kids. I made excuses for them. I babied them. I let them get by with all kinds of crap because I 'didn't want to break their spirits'.

Let me tell you this...what you saw tonight was in a 4 year old body. Wait till he's 12...almost as big as you....calls you a Bitch and puts a hole in the wall! NOW....what you you gonna do????

I have a very sweet son.....but he's done the above....more than once.

I SOOO wish I would have beat his butt till he couldn't sit down when he was four. My Mom used to be so mad at me for putting up with his tantrums. If ONLY I had listened to her...............

My parents didn't put up with anything. To THIS day if I sassed my Mom...she would smack the crap out of me. I know this to be true. I also knew it as a teenager. WHY? Because she taught me at a young age that if I didnt' respect her...she wasn't going to show me respect back....she was gonna tear my butt up.

I KNOW how hard it is.....I totally sympathize with your situation!

[Duke]

My mom used that one on me all the time. I just unplugged the phone.