Lying, an important part of child development

[Duke]

Think about how you feel when you know your child is lying. Depending on the situation, as a parent you can feel very angry, betrayed or even saddened and disappointed. Do you ever lie?

According to an article posted in MSN Family, lying is a very natural and important stage in your child’s development. Quoted from the article, "Essential human skills -- independence, perspective taking, and emotional control -- are the same skills that enable children to lie."

Of course this doesn't mean you should let your child get away with lying but it should help parents to understand why it's happening and maybe not to sweat the small stuff.

[Duke]

Thoughts?

[Star]

I can honestly say that I hate lyers and I particularly don't like it when my kids lie to me. My oldest lied about everything ( she's honest about things now though). Even things that she didn't really have to lie about. My youngest doesn't lie too often. She's very honest.

Kids will lie to try and get away with things they know they're in trouble for. When I catch my kids in a lie, they get grounded. If they fess up and tell the truth then the punishment is less severe for just telling the truth. I think that's important so they can grow knowing that lying will not get them anywhere but into more trouble.

[Merika]

Looking ahead to ages 10 and 11, most children become able liars. The big difference at this stage is that parents and teachers are no longer seduced by the sound of a child's voice, the innocent look on her face, or an outlandish alibi.

I think the last paragraph in that article says it all and it also lines up with what Star is saying. You CAN'T make excuses for it and call it 'okay' when they are little because the end result is too hard to handle.

I've believed my kids out of parental 'default' and have been proven to be an idiot on more than ONE occasion. If they didn't tell on each other....I'd probably still be in the dark on many things they pull off by effectively lying to me.

I don't believe the pat answer of it being 'normal' is acceptable. We give kids too many 'psychological' breaks...and too few trips to the proverbial wood shed.