I'm letting Noahs father see him

[Stone]

Noah's father hasn't been allowed to see him for 2 years ( my rules and the courts) but he has been paying child support and he actually mailed christmas presents to the house this year and he's been asking to see him alot lately. so I am going to give him the benifit of the doubt AGAIN and let Noah see his father SUPERVISED by Greg and I. hope it goes well

[Duke]

I think that's a fair decision in light of recent events, good luck.

[Merika]

If you don't do it willingly while you can still control the situation.....Noah will only try to find him once he's older.

My daughter continually forgives that AssClown of a dad she has. After not contacting her for 6 years, then she ran off to live with him for 5 months, then he dropped her off at my house for a week's visit but didn't bother to contact her again for 6 months...sent her a Christmas card with a phone number in it. Guess what she did? She put in she was spending Christmas vacation with HIM! I was LIVID.....but can't do a thing about it.

BTW: The card came addressed to HER. My son's name wasn't even on the envlelope. How's THAT for a pisser???????

My son (12) says he doesn't care.....but you KNOW he has to!!!!

Some relationships, expecially between a child and a parent, you just can't control once they get to an age of making up their own mind. You are best to let Noah ease into it gently. I agree with your decision.

[Stone]

Thanks, He's let us both down so many times. and has been in and out of jail rehab ect. I keep hoping he will change ddep down he's a good guy but he is just lost within himself.

When Noah was in ICU he sat outside the hospital snorting cocaine ( this was a childrens hospital) my parents want to shoot him for it. he says it was his way of dealing with his pain but I don't see that as an excuse and I will always hate him for it.

[Cindy]

Merika - Does your daughter read your posts? :?

[Duke]

I think her daughter would actually agree.

[Star]

I think you're doing the right thing for Noah. Noah will love and respect you all the more for being a part of trying to spend some time with his dad. Supervised or not (I too would only do the supervised visits at this time), he'll be happy to spend some time with him.

Merika's right abuot kids searching out their bio parents or family when they get older. Krystal's bio family wasn't in her life at all her whole life up until just recently. She bumped into one of her bio uncles (a total loser i might add) and called him uncle and calls him. I figure she'll realize the loser that he his and will stop wanted to be involved with him in the near future. There comes a point when the kids need to figure these things out on their own and we, as the loving, nurturing parents that we are have to let them do that on their own. We'll be the ones they come to for comfort always.

[Merika]

Originally Posted by Duke

I think her daughter would actually agree.

Yes....she does.

We talked about it over Chinese food at our favorite buffet before she left. She doesn't think he's right or approve of how he handles things.....but he's her Dad and she loves him. Isis (on here) has a great heart and always tries to see the best in everyone. In the end though....she's the one who gets so hurt and disappointed in him. It infuriates me that he does this to her.....but I don't have any way of protecting her.

That's why I said trying to keep a child from a parent is fruitless once that child is determined to find out who they are. I do think you can do this while they are young though or at least keep the visitations under control.

[Stone]

I just would really hate to see Noah disapointed at such a young age or pick up any behavior from his trashy grandparents... ( they put the W in Whit Trash) I know his fahter will want to play Daddy for a few months and then he will get sick of it and go do drugs. ( he only wants to see noah when he is clean) I don't see it EVER being possible for there to be UNsupervised visits unless some miricale happens and he changes 110%, still then I couldn't let Noah be alone with him without a court basically making me.. witch will never happen. I don't think he would intentionaly hurt him but over my dead body will my son ever be exposed to drugs or people on drugs at this age... Noahs fahter grew up with a joint in his mouth it's sad actually, His parents couldn't control his ADD and couldn't afford to take him to the doctor so the morons that they are told him at 12 he was alowed to smoke 1 joint a day..... Now 14 years later they wonder why he is a junkie!! It's sad but I don't want them around my son and I know battels will come along with that as well. probably sooner than later.

[Merika]

While he is young....you should do whatever you think is best for Noah. He can face all these things when you know in his heart he is ready....and he just may not be ready now.