I wish there was a way...

Duke · 01-30-2005, 09:13 PM

...to not feel so low after dropping my child off at her mothers house. You think that after doing this for the past 9 years it would get at least a bit easier. The opposite seems to hold true though, it only gets tougher.

Sorry bout the belly-aching :oops:

darkangelism · 01-30-2005, 09:21 PM

i wouldnt expect it to get easier, you love her and want her to be with you.

Duke · 01-30-2005, 09:25 PM

As much as I hate leaving her I'm sure that the relationship we have today is much better than any relationship we may have had if I had stayed with her mother.

Star · 01-30-2005, 10:03 PM

You have valid feelings duke. I put myself in your shoes and I would be sad too to have to drop off my child and not be able to see her until the weekends or every other weekend. Do you talk to her on the phone during the time that you don't have her over? If you wanted to, would your ex let you take her out for supper or to a movie if it isn't your visiting time?

Hubby and I had this conversation tonight about what if we broke up. I told him that I wouldn't fight him for custody. We'd have joint custody at our discretion. We would let Kassandra decide where she'd want to live and we wouldn't stop the other from seeing her whenever they wanted. Hubby would want her to live with me since i'm a stay at home mom. We would try to keep everything as normal as we possibly can so that she wouldn't be too sad.

Hubby and i did break up for 3 months when the girls were very little (kassandra was 2 and krystal was 5). I got my own apartment, he gave me all the furniture i needed to make the apartment a home for the girls and he visited with them every single day and I didn't stop him so it wasn't a huge shock for them. I did my thing, he visited with his girls. Unfortunately, not everyone can be as amicable in these situations and the sad thing is that the kids are the ones who get hurt the most. Pain sometimes make people behave in ways they wouldn't normally.

I'm done rambling now! :?

Duke · 01-30-2005, 10:40 PM

I used to visit my daughter a few nights a week but now they moved to an area that is essentially a nightmare to get to and from on a weeknight. I'm keeping my eyes open for a new job closer to where they live so maybe I can move. We do talk on the phone but it's really not the same for us. Somehow there's no substitute for actually being together.

Star · 01-30-2005, 11:00 PM

that's too bad. I hope you do find something a little closer so that you can see her more often. I understand the talking on the phone thing. it's not the same.

Duke · 01-30-2005, 11:03 PM

It doesn't help much that I tend to feel sorry for myself everytime I drop her off. I wish I could just suck it up because it makes me feel like a big wuss.

Star · 01-30-2005, 11:09 PM

all men are big wusses when it comes to their daughters. :wink: hubby is the worst one! My dad's a big wuss when it comes to me also. he misses me big time now that i live 1 1/2 hours away from him. he tells me everyday on MSN. You're not alone and it isn't a bad thing. she's daddy's little girl and that's the way it should be. means you're a wonderful daddy.

Duke · 01-30-2005, 11:23 PM

She's a wonderful child and I'm the luckiest dad alive.

Samson · 01-31-2005, 08:27 AM

Quote:

all men are big wusses when it comes to their daughters.

While I cannot speak for all men, I am a member of the Big Wuss Club of Fathers with Daughters (BWCFD). In fact, without my daughter, I'm convinced I wouldn't be married today, quite content to maintain whatever joint custody settlement may be available for me and my sons.

I wonder, though, how'd I'd cope with the situation you're in, Duke. My guess is that I'd try to find some diversions; someone to occupy my thoughts that wouldn't replace the place in my heart for my daughter, but who would fill the emptiness. I'm certain this is where you've gone, and that you will eventually succeed.

Merika · 01-31-2005, 09:46 AM

Then they turn 15.

Star · 01-31-2005, 10:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merika

Then they turn 15.

15! 8O that's when she turned me into a gramma!

I've made my dad cry many times when i was a teen. He wanted more for me then what i've accomplished. I disapointed him but I think I made it up as an adult. you know that the first man in a girl's life is her daddy.

Merika · 01-31-2005, 10:42 AM

I wish my kids had a great Dad who stayed in normal contact and spent time with them. All they have is that retard of a Dad which I will live all the days of my life feeling guilty for having spawned with him.

They deserve so much better.

So, I understand how you feel Duke.....but at least the quality makes up for the quantity.

Stone · 01-31-2005, 11:08 AM

Duke did your ex wife ever remarry?