How would you handle this

Stone · 10-13-2004, 06:55 PM

This evening I took my son to the pumpkin patch at a church down the street to pick ou t a pumpkin, well we ended up comming home with 3 but that isn't my point.

After I told him we could not get the $80 pumpkin and instead he can have one medium sized one and two small ones he FREAKED OUT and threw himself on the floor threw the little pumpkin and started kicking and stomping his feet!! I wanted to die of embarassment. I finally got him to stop paid for the pumpkins and left.

I probably shouldn't have bought them at all but I was so embarassed and I didn't want to make it worse. He is 4 years old

What would you have done? I wanted to scream but I kept my cool untill we got in the car and now I am so pissed I won't even look at him. We've had a bad week with behavior.. Can anyone recommend some Alternitive punishments?

Duke · 10-13-2004, 07:42 PM

I would have collected him up, bought nothing and put him in bed regardless of time you get home. You have to put your foot down and show him it's unacceptable IMO.

Question; when you put him in the car did he fall asleep right away or soon thereafter? A temper tantrum is usually a childs complete mental breakdown and some have virtually no control when it gets to that point. Facts aside, I still wouldn't buy anything.

BTW, no need to be embarassed, it happens all the time. It's a fact of life that kids will sometimes lose it and another fact that they'll likely do so at the worst possible time.

Merika · 10-14-2004, 12:12 AM

I SO agree with Duke.

I'll tell you why....read Isis' post on WHY kids push their parent's buttons! They had to learn this through many years of trial and error. Your son is 4...he's seeing how much power he has. It's up to you how much you want to give him.

I was a SCHMUCK as a parent! I SOOOOOO regret it! If I had to do it all over again....I would be my mom. (Piss her off...she'll whip your A$$....no apologies....no excuses!) If only I would've listened....I wouldn't have half the probs I have today!.

Paul · 10-14-2004, 03:09 PM

Great post Duke and so true! My parents were a lot more strict with me then my brother, now him and I are like night and day. Now my parents didn't always do things right but they did discipline and made it clear that they would not be walked all over, that's a valuable lesson I will pass onto my children someday.

Duke · 10-17-2004, 04:05 PM

Did any of the above actually help you Stoneheather?

Just curious.

Stone · 10-17-2004, 04:41 PM

Yes it did! I am a huge pushover, and I let him walk all over me at times I need to stand my ground. Thanks fot the advice! :wink:

Duke · 10-17-2004, 04:57 PM

No problem at all and thanks for the update.

I believe your son will actually respect you the more you put your foot down. My mom let us walk all over her, too a point. When she started cursing in Russian then we knew to drop it and back off. One of the best parenting skills I've seen from the female perspective to date.

Merika · 10-17-2004, 08:52 PM

HAHA Duke....my Mom used to do the same thing in German.

That's it Stoneheather....you'll have to pick up an alternate language!!!

Duke · 10-17-2004, 08:57 PM

I can teach you the Russian swear word she used ;-)