Holding Kids Accountable

Merika · 03-11-2005, 09:33 AM

This sort of goes with the great front page article Duke submitted for teaching your kids about money.

As everyone knows, yesterday was Sn00py's birthday. He only got a small portion of his birthday money (the only way he got the PS2 game he wanted is by trading another game in...along with the cash I gave him.) The rest of his money....I am taking him down to the bank to purchase a money order for the District Attorney's office towards his restitution amount.

I think it's only fair....since I am the one responsible for the $586 that he owes for damages....but he sure has whined and balked about it. He was also mad that I informed family/friends to give him cash due to the plan. He'll get over it though. I think it's important he feels the financial pain of his crime.

I did feel a little bad for him since it was his big 13th birthday....which all kids look forward to. I wish I could've given him a party....but I still think he needed to contribute towards the total amount.

Star · 03-11-2005, 10:26 AM

Sometimes we have to do things to our kids that make us feel like crap but you know it's the right thing to do. I feel crappy about it almost every day.

I would've done the same thing if I were in your position. The only way he's learn anything from this is to feel the pain and pay it back. Birthday money or not, it's his money and his money should be used to pay that bill that he created in the first place. It's a valuable lesson for him to learn.

I do the same with Krystal. She has chosen not to live here so now, I don't help her at all financially or any other way anymore and I won't until she shows me that she's really trying and she's in a place of her own. I don't even give her bus fare so she can get around. She made her bed, she can lie in it. That's the only way she'll learn IMHO.

Samson · 03-11-2005, 09:18 PM

I've missed exactly what it was that your son did?

Quote:

He was also mad that I informed family/friends to give him cash due to the plan. He'll get over it though. I think it's important he feels the financial pain of his crime.

Apparently he's more than a little ashamed that the episode needs to be replayed every time he celebrates his b'day, xmas, whatever, in the form of your requests for donations to "the plan." Of course, this isn't any picnic for you either. I think this makes the financial burden pale in comparison.

You're right: Ya do the crime, Ya do the time, and....

He'll get over it.

Stone · 03-12-2005, 08:33 AM

Yep he'll get over it, I would make him pay the whole thing.. Can he mow lawns, help with neighbors choses, work it off in some way??

Duke · 03-12-2005, 09:33 AM

I think making him pay for it is the only way that he can ever truly accept full responsibility. I know sn00py's a great kid but that shouldn't deter you from making him pay for what he's done.

I hope he doesn't think I'm picking on him, it's something I'd do to my own daughter as well.