Finally some good news

[Star]

Well, I just got off the phone with our children's aid worker. Krystal didn't make her visit today (1st visit she missed) so erika was brought back home. the visits are pointless there anyhow since she sees erika almost everyday, all day long here. we both agreed to that. i think that krystal might of gone to toronto to get her abortion today whihc is probably why i can't get a hold of her.

anyways, the worker told me that we don't have to go for custody, that when krystal starts school then they will remove themselves from our family's life because they know that gerry and I can handle this all by ourselves. they trust our jusdgement calls and know that we will do nothing but what's best for erika. so, come september, when krystal is in school, there will be no more children's aid in my life! not that they've been nasty to me because they've been nothing but nice and understanding. they were leaving 99% of it all up to me anyways so they don't need to be here when there are plenty other families that really do need their help.

so, I asked her if we really needed to go for custody and she said that she talked with her supervisor about it and we don't need to do that. Krystal is compliant with everything we decide and she won't take erika out of this house. we wouldn't allow it and when the time comes that erika is living with krystal, i will then go for joint custody just for that extra comfort. but until then, there really is no use for it.

she's been seeing erika almost everyday here and taking care of her here so seeing erika isn't a problem.

I needed this good news to bring my spirits up a bit. i feel releaved where all this with erika is concerned. one problem solved, more to go.

[Duke]

Great news star, fortunately September is only a few weeks away.

I would ask to get something in writing because moms have a lot of rights when it comes to their children. I'd hate to see you in a position of losing Erika, especially if Krystal was still in a bad state, but had no legal claim to her. It's better to have too much assurances rather than not enough.

[Star]

i wouldn't even have to worry about it. all i'd have to do is get in touch with the children's aid here and they'd back me up 100%.

i don't feel her being a threat as far as taking erika goes; she wouldn't do that and neither does the children's aid. krystal's a lot of things but when it comes to the welfare of erika, she's level headed and will never put erika's life in danger. she never wants her hurt. so, we're not worried. that's mostly the reason why children's aid is backing off, because they know krystal wouldn't do anything of the sort. she really has be compliant with all decisions made since erika's been born. never a probalem in that department.

now to speed her growing up process! well, baby steps i suppose.

[Duke]

Sorry star, I guess I'm still spooked from the second level jump of a pregnant girl.

[Merika]

We've always all agreed that protecting Erika was the most important thing. I know that's your main goal....and whatever happens to Krystal in between.... is nothing but a 'wait and see' game. Don't let it swallow your joy in raising your grandchild.

[Stone]

If I we're you "just for protection" I would get a copy of the file, I am glad your daughter is doing good, but the drug thing is very scary and can change people.

Having the file hidden on hand somewhere may help you just incase of an emergency. Even if it isn't related to Krystal. I always keep Noah's cusody file in a safty deposit box just incase, you never know what may pop up in the future, heaven forbid anything ever happened to me I want to make sure my parents have acess to these kinds of things so they could fight for cusody of Noah.

Quick Question?? Suppose she gets into drugs besides just experimemting would you report her to childrens aide?

[Merika]

Good idea about keeping the papers Stone. I agree....you never know when you'll need them.

[Star]

I don't need any because if anything were to happen, all i do is call the police and childen's aid and it's taken care of. They have access to files 24 hours a day/7 days a week. I don't think i can get a copy of the files.

I'm not worried about it at all. Krystal's making a lot of serious mistakes but the one thing she wouldn't do is harm erika in any way.

If she became a junky, then i most certainly would go for custody but for now, i don't need to. children's aid will back me up 100%.

[Samson]

Originally Posted by Star

. i think that krystal might of gone to toronto to get her abortion today whihc is probably why i can't get a hold of her.

I needed this good news to bring my spirits up a bit. i feel releaved where all this with erika is concerned. one problem solved, more to go.

I'm gonna post, regardless of a slightly elevated level of discomfort discussing such a personal issue. I'm supposing that you want input from a variety of sources, otherwise you would not post about the subject.

First let me couch:

You seem to have gone above and beyond to be a mother and grand mother, and since this is "Lifesupporters" you deserve to know this. In fact, the overwhelming body of evidence to support this observation serves to make me wonder in stark contrast, why, if you daughter is having an abortion, you aren't sure when or where it is happening?

It is my sincere hope that the causes for this gap in knowledge have been beyond your control, and that you have not chosen to be "Unlifesupportive" of the inevitable, however personally disagreeable.

Karmatically,
Samson

[Duke]

I must be tired because that post confused the hell out of me :wapwap:

I do agree that star has definately done much more for her daughter and the troubles she's caused than others would. To be quite honest, I'm not sure that I would ever do even half of what you have star for my child.

Of course I can smugly sit here and say that not having walked a mile in your shoes. When faced with the same situation I have no concrete idea on how I'd act/react. You are a great mom star, and a great person, I just hope things level out some, you deserve that at least.

[Merika]

Originally Posted by Samson

to make me wonder in stark contrast, why, if you daughter is having an abortion, you aren't sure when or where it is happening?

Maybe because her daughter doesn't LIVE with her? How in the heck would she know one way or the other unless she is told?

[Star]

I will always be there for my kids no matter what. to me, for me, that's what uncondional love is and i love my kids unconditionally. Krystal has and is still making some really bad mistakes with her life and that is out of my control. what little i can control, i do. As bad (I hate to use that word) as krystal is, she does take what i say into consideration. she never argues anything to do with erika, ever. If I told her to go ahead and have that abortion, she would do it. if i told her to give the baby up for adoption, she would. I have to leave these decisions up to her and her only because they are her mistakes. she must learn from them eventually.

as far as me not knowing about my daughter's activities samson, merika is right. she doesn't live with us. i can't make her live with us, she is of age to live on her own. there comes a time in life when the things your child does is totally out of your control. I just deal with these as they come.

She has improved and grown up a little in the past year. not much though but she is trying. i have to give credit where credit is due otherwise she's doomed for failure. I'm a firm believer that nothing comes out of a negative. positive is better.

Krystal is lucky that she has a mom and dad that love her so much. one day, she'll realize that and say sorry for all the hurt she's caused us. I know that day will come. i raised a good hearted girl. the outer brick wall is coming down slowly.