Family and Children's Services

Star · 11-23-2004, 09:19 PM

For those of you who have had involvement with CAS now or in the past, what have your experiences with them been like?

CAS is involved with my daughter's baby because of my daughter's irresponsible past behaviour. I can't stand to have them involved but because my daughter is living under the same roof with us and the baby, they said they have to monitor us to make sure the baby stays safe. I agree with that up to some point but I think they're being totally rediculous at this time.

The first thing they asked me was if I had formula and diapers for the baby. I just about fell off my chair laughing when i was asked this rediculous question! Of course we have everything we need for the baby and more so I found this a tad bit insulting. Especially since a few years ago, my husband and I went to court and took our 2 small nieces out of CAS care to live in our home! Not to mention that our own kids are well taken care of and have everything they need or want. I think they're going a bit overboard with us here.

I told the worker today (the first phone call and visit from them in the 2 weeks that we've been home!!!) that Krystal is being an exceptional mother to her baby and so far is doing everything right. Told them that I have her on waiting lists for programs, school and counseling. That didn't seem to be enough for them. I just know that they're going to drive be bananas!!!

I told my daughter after the worker left that she best be on her best behaviour and comply with every little thing they want her to do and to do it with a smile so they can quickly go away and leave us alone. She said she would because she wants them gone herself. When that worker asked that stupid question (if i have formula and diapers for the baby), my daughter gave her this puzzled look and answered her quickly by saying what do you think? of course my mom does! she's a good mom! LOL! Needless to say the worker didn't ask anymore stupid questions like that after that!

Now they're coming back on friday to ask my husband and i more stupid questions like household safety. as if we don't know about baby proffing our home for the baby! geesh!!! I'm so annoyed!!!!! :roll:

Thanks for allowing me to vent a little.

Duke · 11-28-2004, 01:30 PM

I can understand your frustration and I hope it doesn't last long but I guess their just concerned about the babies living conditions. By the sounds of things they haven't been that good in-utero so maybe their just being a little overcautious for now. It'll prolly taper off so long as the conditions are met (and surpassed).

Star · 11-28-2004, 02:24 PM

I am grinning and barring it. I've made so many phone calls to different places last week to get the help that my daughter needs (counselling, parenting classes, school, etc...) that they have nothing to say in that department. I feel like I've had the phone attached to my ear all of last week! 8O

They came of Friday and asked me if I had everything I needed for the baby again. I said, yes and then some with a smile. :wink:

The baby is doing great and a real joy to have around. She's such a good baby!

Stone · 11-28-2004, 03:47 PM

I used to dream of being a DCF social worker, when I was younger that was my ultimate goal in life.... Untill I meet one in person and she took me to work with her when I was 19 and I saw that she was the most miserable person with the most miserable job in the world.... It is a heart breaking job, even though your grand daughter isn't in danger they must treat all cases the same.... I think what I am trying to say is that is a EXTREAMLY hard job, with very nice compasionate people and it can be annoying but they chose this career because they love and want to protect children, often people forget that. And they also offer public assistance to those who may not afford diapers and other needs.

I have had my run ins with DCF because my child is Handicapped and when I brought him home from the hospital they had to come make sure I took care of him properly.... It sucked and I was very insulted. They looked in my cabniets to see if I had food and the proper medication for my son, they had to watch me change his chest tubbing ( witch they had no clue how to do) and they even made me take a drug test because I had a drug history 4 years prior. and they spoke to my parents because we we're living with them at the time and asked my mother if she knew how to take care of my son and she is a peidatric nurse for gods sake LOL . when they we're done with the investigation I never heard from them again.... Tough it out. and they will be ggone FOREVER!!! Good Luck. Also use them if you need them that's what they are there for if your daughter needs any public assistance or WIC or discounted daycare ( not sure if they have that in Canada) it's their job to provide it..

Duke · 11-28-2004, 04:26 PM

Any new pics?

Star · 11-28-2004, 04:32 PM

my dad took his camera back and the newest pics are in there still on his computer. I'll send some new ones when I have them here.

Duke · 11-28-2004, 05:20 PM

Can't wait to see them.

Merika · 11-30-2004, 10:59 AM

Anytime the state (government) gets involved in your family life...they are a pain. I suppose they are only doing their job though.

Since Sn00py got in so much trouble....I can't even pick him up early from school without reporting WHY. I find that to be VERY annoying....but it's unavoidable.

Star...How is Erika doing?

Star · 11-30-2004, 11:07 AM

They are being a pain big time! Krystal can't even take the baby out for a walk without having a supervisor with her for god sakes! that's just rediculous as far as I'm concerned.

Erika is doing great! She's holding up her head (started to pop it up at 2 days old!) and looking around; very alert. she's sleeping less and eating more. She loves to be cuddled so she's hardly in her craddle. either krystal or I sleeps with her in our beds. She is such a good baby. Only cries when she's hungry, wet or wants cuddles. I had a fear of her being colicky. my kids were and it was pure hell! so happy she's not.

I will send some pics when i get more of them. She is just sooooo beautiful I cry joy when I look at her. Krystal is still being a good mom. She listens to the advice I give her and takes good care of her.

Merika · 11-30-2004, 11:44 AM

It's probably because they haven't seen the changes in your daughter emotionally since the baby has been born....like you have. Even you had fears about her taking care of the baby until you saw the new maturity she has shown in the past few weeks.

All she can do is live with the penalties of what she brought on herself in the early stages.....and prove that she IS a good mother and will take good care of her baby.

You've really done an excellent job here Star. I SO respect the decisions you've made and how you've handled it.

I KNOW about the baby sleeping with you thing. I did that with both kids and it took forever to kick their butts out of my bed when they were five years old! HAHA! They still take turns sleeping on the couch instead of their own rooms....which I find so ridiculous.

calizza · 11-30-2004, 12:37 PM

It sounds like a real pain, but I can't blame them. They don't know you or your family from anybody else so how would they know if you had these things and know this or that. If they didn't do these things they wouldn't be doing their job and then one day something bad would happen as a result of these things not being done and then they would be the ones blamed. I would be complaining if they weren't doing those things!
I hope it is over soon enough I know it has to suck.
just keep smiling

Duke · 11-30-2004, 07:05 PM

I agree with Cal and pretty much everyone here. Tuff it out and it will be over before you know. I don't think their nearly as worried about you as they are your daughter. Once she proves herself then all will be fine I'm sure.

Merika · 12-01-2004, 08:52 AM

Maybe you should make a list of all the stuff you need....and they will leave you alone.....LOL!

Star · 12-01-2004, 09:04 AM

problem with that is that I don't need anything! LOL! I think if Krystal wasn't living with us at home, they wouldn't even bother with me. Such is life. Friday's a busy day for us here. at 10 am the public health nurse comes to talk with krystal (her weekly visit), then at 11 am the counselling is calling for a 30 minute questionaire for krystal then at 1 pm the chiuldren's aid care worker is coming for her weekly visit. she doesn't stay long at all. It's having these people in my house every week that really bothers me. Today, we have a lady from the school that Krystal will be attending coming at 11 am so she can talk with krystal and have me sign a permission paper for children's aid. and tomorrow at 2 is the weekly visit to the doctors for erika. I just got a new part time night time job too so i am feeling a tad bit tired these days with all of this. and the saga continues...... :wink: