Break my heart

Duke · 04-07-2005, 01:13 AM

I know being a father means many different things to many people. To me it's being supportive, loving, understanding, and patient. I've been preparing myself mentally (even though my daughters only turning 10) for the day when she'll be too busy to visit dad, or so I thought.

I've been looking forward to her coming over this weekend so much that when her mom told me she made other plans (a sleep over at a girlfriends house) my heart broke. I can't imagine the day when she comes over only a few times a year or less, yikes.

Now I'm not even sure what to do with myself, pretty pathetic actually.

Star · 04-07-2005, 05:50 AM

awe duke...

you're little girl is turning into a social butterfly. It starts to happen around this age, unfortunately.

Do you get to have her every weekend or every other weekend? If it's not every weekend then why can't the mother make sure that the visits with you aren't interupted?

We hardly see kassandra on weekends. She's going to dances, youth groups and sleepovers. She's babysitting this weekend for my sister in law so maybe she'll be home this weekend and i can actually spend some mommy/daughter time with her. I miss those times too.

Duke · 04-07-2005, 05:59 AM

I think I average 3 weekends out of 5.

As for mom organizing it, that's not really necessary. I'd hate for my daughter to feel obligated to see me. If she want's to do something else then I have to respect that.

Star · 04-07-2005, 06:04 AM

you're right. We respect kassandra's wanting to go out and socialize. Gerry misses her though more then I do because he works such long hours that he hardly gets to spend any daddy time with her. He comes home long enough to see her for about 1/2 hour then she's in bed. When he is off a day on the weekend (which isn't too often these days), he begs her to stay home with him. She does because she misses her daddy too.

You'll never lose your daughter, ever. She'll always be "daddy's little girl" no matter how old she is. Heck I'm 40 and I'm still "daddy's little girl". I love having that daddy/daughter time with my dad and look forward to it everytime. Even if it's just hanging out with him watching a movie or something.

Duke · 04-07-2005, 06:06 AM

Doesn't make this any easier on the soul though, what a bummer.

Star · 04-07-2005, 06:08 AM

no it doesn't but it does get easier to deal with as she grows up. Letting go of those apron strings are hard at first.

Stone · 04-07-2005, 08:05 AM

Maby you can start including her friends with her visits... Maby next time you take her to the movies ask her to invite a friend. My friends always loved my dad and I thought that was so cool

Merika · 04-07-2005, 07:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stone

Maby you can start including her friends with her visits... Maby next time you take her to the movies ask her to invite a friend. My friends always loved my dad and I thought that was so cool

Now that's a real good idea. My friends always liked my Dad too. I know it isn't the same as one to one.....but those times will become fewer as Paris begins to explore who she is and become very social in the process. Wait until she starts dating!!

Isis is rarely home. When she is home....she's either sleeping, eating ro talking on the phone with friends.

Duke · 04-08-2005, 01:20 AM

My daughters friends like me too, according to my daughter anyway. I'm a bit of a child magnet, not entirely sure why :?

I offered it to her a few months ago but she hasn't taken me up on it yet. I don't really know any of her friends parents much either so I'm not sure how confident they'd be with their daughter staying at a total strangers house. I'm no sicko lunatic but I can't say I'd blame them for feeling a little put off by the gesture.

Merika · 04-08-2005, 07:41 AM

With so many divorced parents....I don't think that's a big deal anymore. However, always better for a man to play it safe. Maybe not sleep-overs.....but you could take Paris and a friend out for pizza or some fun place for the afternoon.

Sometimes I plan things with my kids or a family day....only for them to inform me they have plans elsewhere. It used to bother me a little. Now, I'm just glad when they are gone. LOL!

Duke · 04-08-2005, 08:17 AM

That's prolly not such a bad idea. The only thing that makes it a bit difficult is that my daughter lives a fair distance away, as does her friends. It certainly isn't going to be easy on the old pocket book.

Vautrin · 04-08-2005, 09:59 AM

But you have to get her, when you have visitation rights, don't you?

I may be completely off the mark with this one, but maybe part of the problem is time management.

If you have to get her, you should also be a lot closer to her friends (geographically speaking), when you come and get her. So is it perhaps an idea to include a few friends of her, when you are near (if she wants too)?

And something similar might be possible on the day your visitation comes to an end.

Duke · 04-08-2005, 10:05 AM

I never have to get her. I'd never put my daughter in a situation where she has to see me. We both enjoy spending time together very much and I always support her decisions, this is just another one I'll have to live with.

I do see her friends once in a while but it's not the friends that have to be comfortable with you so much as the parents.