Responsibility when kids break the law. (Split thread)

[Stone]

After all the crap I put my dad through after I left the house he still decided to go to work as a Juvinille Provation Officer witch sadly only lasted 8 months he says pretty much the same thing as you.

He used to go visit the kids on House Arrest and 1/2 the parents would lie for there children and say they we're slepping at 8:00 when actully they we're getting high somewhere. The parents don't get introuble for lying.

Another mother tried to convience my dad that it was OK for her son to smoke pot because he has ADHD ( The kid was selling pot)

[Duke]

I read that entire post Samson and I simply cannot believe what you're talking about. You're talking as parents have full control over their kids, or so it sounds, and it's the most ludicrous statement I think I've heard to date.

The other thing I take issue with is who exactly in any of the previous posts has ever defended an irresponsible parent? I've read every post over the past 8 pages and have no idea where you're pulling that one from. I am interested to learn exactly how you determine who is an irresponsible parent and who isn't. I can tell you that an irresponsible kid does not an irresponsible parent make.

Were you a little angel as a kid, were all of your friends? Can you tell me without lying that your parents had 100% control over you and 100% knowledge of what you were up to at all times? If so, you're cut from a different cord than the masses because it just doesn't happen that way.

[Samson]

I really don't know how many ways I can say it:

You either accept responsability or you don't.

Although I certainly agree that not accepting it and trying to rationalize why parents cannot possably be held accountable for their children's transgressions is a helava lot easier road to take.

[Duke]

You can say it a million times and it's still likely to make no sense.

[Samson]

Yes, responsability is an extremely complicated concept.

[Duke]

It's not responsibility that’s difficult to grasp man; it's your ideology that the parent always has control of the child. That's just ludicrous.

[Star]

Originally Posted by Duke

It's not responsibility that’s difficult to grasp man; it's your ideology that the parent always has control of the child. That's just ludicrous.

I couldn't agree with you more. It's totally rediculous and unrealistic. this hasn't made sense to me from the beggining.

[Samson]

You know, I guess you gotta spend just a little time dealing with parents who will purposefully distance themselves from their children in order to claim irresponsibility. Its an easy cop out, I've heard a million times:

Them: "Well sir, my kid has just beat the hell outta another kid for the 4th or 5th time, but I've tried everything!!!"

Me: "Like What?"

Them: "I gave him/her a really stern talking to AND sent him to their room!!"

Me: "I mean, what did you do the second time?"

Them: "Oh I've sent him/her to their room EVERY SINGLE TIME!!"

Me: "Well, now that you'll receive a $500 fine, perhaps you'll be able to think of some other way to modify their behavior?"

Them: "WHAT??? A $500 fine!!! we'll that's just not fair. How'm I supposed to watch him 24/7"

Me: "That's what raising kids is all about sir, the object of being a parent is to allow the child to get along without the parent, and until you get your s#@# together and accept that responsibility, we're gonna fine your a$$. There are plenty of great kids here that do not deserve to be in the environment that you have allowed to perpetuate."

[Stone]

I do think parents of children of REPEAT criminals should be fined to an extent, AND the child should have to work to pay that fine OR receive COMMUNITY SERVICE.

The age of the child and the "crime" of a child also has alot to do with it, with children under the age of 13 I think the parents should be held responsible 110%. children 14 and up are emotionally ready and more mature to face the concequences.

With the Judical system there are SEVERAL resources available ( or atleast in the US) for faimly counceling, drug testing, therapy ect. and the state pays for it. So with these resources available parents have a great advantage.

Saying that, being an Ex Deliquent, sometimes it's far to easy to be passed thru the judical system. I got to a point where I didn't give a Crap about anyone but myself so I didn't listen to my parents and still got in trouble.

Sometimes kids are mixed up with a crowd where it's just cool to be bad.

[Star]

Originally Posted by Stoneheather

With the Judical system there are SEVERAL resources available ( or atleast in the US) for faimly counceling, drug testing, therapy ect. and the state pays for it. So with these resources available parents have a great advantage.

that's available here too but unfortunately, the child has to sign to receive the help and/or be court ordered to receive the help but if the child doesn't really and truly want the help, the child won't talk or everything goes in one ear and out the other. so it's not really an advantage to parents if the child won't co-operate.

I still think fining or giving jail time to parents is rediculous. that won't teach the kid a thing about his/her behaviour at all. that's just another way out for the kid. It makes no sense at all.

as stated in a previous post. there are bad kids that come from good home with very good parents and there are good kids that come from really bad home with really bad parents. Behaviour is an individual thing. It's what one chooses. Behaviour can't be blamed on anyone but the person with the behaviour unless it's an illness.

so should we fine the parents to the kids that have mental illness too? ADD, ADHD, Bi-Polar...are all mental illnesses that do cause bad behaviour. That would make as much sense as fining and/or jailing the parents to any kid with bad behaviour.

It's not a solution.

[Stone]

The crime has to be FINEABLE example if my son beat up your son and broke his nose, I should pay the hospital bills. Then I should punish the crap out of my son.

If my son broke into someones home and stole jewerly, I think I should pay for it, but it's up to me to make sure he "works it off"

Not all crimes are Fineable at all.

The Judical systmem knows the diffrence between the parents that try and there kids don't improve and the parents who don't give a crap and there kids get worse. All parents can do is coroperate, but to often they make excusses for there kids I think that was the origional point.

Work in the BAR industry, I've meet my share of Peice of Crap mothers, they didn't care about there kids, what they did, or even where they we're the parents like this are the one's who take no responsibility for there kids.

Sometimes you take all the responsibility on try and try for your kids, convience yourself that you can beat this and it just doesn't work, because the kid doesn't want help it happened to my parents, it happened to Star, and I am SURE it happens to thousands of other parents.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by Samson

You know, I guess you gotta spend just a little time dealing with parents who will purposefully distance themselves from their children in order to claim irresponsibility.

I don't believe this is an attitude affecting all parents. This is why I take issue with your blanket statements.

[darkangelism]

nice new avatar SH.