Loosing a Pet

TKDLady · 12-14-2007, 11:06 PM

How do you deal with loosing a pet?

My husband made me get rid of our dog because she was acting up due to lack of attention. I was devastated and cried for a few days. I hated him during that time. I don't think I ever really got over it. Now a friend of mine has a dog who had surgery today. The dog had a tumor on his leg and was causing the dog problems. The dog is 12. The vet and my friend decided that if it was really bad once the doc was in there that they just wouldn't let the dog wake up. I have not heard the outcome as of yet but know that the death of his dog will hurt him terribly. I want to help him but since I have not learned too well how to deal with it I was hoping for advice. I know it is just a pet but we as humans become attached to these furry little creatures and loosing them tears our hearts out. I know Luba comprehends my meaning. I just want to help him if I can.

Vautrin · 12-15-2007, 02:26 AM

Losing a pet is a horrible experience. I lost my favorite cat a few weeks after I returned from my first US trip.

But everybody copes differently. The most important thing is that your friend is aware that you are there for support. Listen, and talk to him if he wants to.

TKDLady · 12-15-2007, 07:16 AM

He knows I am here for support. Thanks Vautrin.

Luba · 12-15-2007, 09:43 AM

tkdlady, I will tell you where I am today! As you know, I have been beyond devastation losing our Beloved Cat because she did SO much for us in her own unique way! I have tears in my eyes right now typing this; but they are no more tears of devastation as I've felt before.

Now when I cry it is tears of thankfulness, gratitude for having had her come to us at all, and I look at it in a positive way, that she did her job keeping my husband warm through his illness, giving me love and joy, teaching me how to grieve and let go with gratitude for the three wonderful years that she brought joy into our lives!

Because of her, I am living a different way, being more of a giver! I made her a promise in my mind that I would put coin/coins away every day, if I miss a day I make up for it the next and I'm doing it. I light a candle every time I do this in honour of her! A pet as special as her will never be forgotten by us, EVER! I made her a promise that I would do this for the rest of my life, make something better for someone else, be it the SPCA, a donation to Cancer, Heart Disease, etc. On the first Anniversary of her disappearance I will donate it to a Cause for the well-being of animals. Because of her, I believe I learned more from her through her unconditional love and without saying a word, she 'spoke' loudly.

In my opinion, tkdlady, losing a pet has to be grieved out until calmness and acceptance comes, there is just no other way! Support groups really help, because only a person that has lost their beloved pet knows how it really feels!

I still have many, many, many moments where I think of her and tears flow, but I'm in the place of thankfulness and it doesn't hurt as much! We were SO fortunate to have her come and live with us and I will always be grateful!

TKDLady · 12-15-2007, 10:39 AM

Well, I spoke with my friend this morning and his dog came through fine. He and I are both relieved. Now he just needs to be patient while his dog's leg heals. Thanks for the response Luba. I know what you went through. I have been there a couple times myself. But for some reason it bothers me more when it is someone I care about. If it would have just been me then I would have dealt with it but because it was someone else who I really care about and who possibly would be going through that pain it would have been difficult for me because I didn't want to see him suffer.

Luba · 12-15-2007, 12:24 PM

I am SO glad everything came out okay and the pet is fine!

PepsiChic · 12-15-2007, 03:27 PM

good to hear your friends dog is ok - i hope s/he recovers well

TKDLady · 12-15-2007, 03:53 PM

It sounds like he will recover just fine. They didn't have to take any muscle. It just needs to heal. Thanks for the good wishes. I will pass them on.

Vautrin · 12-16-2007, 02:15 AM

That is great news!

IvyRose · 06-20-2008, 12:58 PM

I had to put my cat down Wednesday. I have been crying uncontrollably off and on. It's weird because I can go about my day just fine and then all of the sudden, the water works turn on out of the blue.

My son seems to be coping much better than I and he's known her through most of his impressionable youth.

Is this normal and if it is, how long does it usually last?

Vautrin · 06-20-2008, 01:08 PM

It really depends on the person. I am still sad when I think of my little kitty-cat

.

Luba · 06-20-2008, 07:56 PM

IvyRose, with me it's still such grief, especially now again since it's nice weather and we used to be outside. I would be reading and she would be curled up in my lap or on the ledge of the patio! I post on a Great Pet Loss Grief Support Website where we are all experiencing grief. It comes really harshly where I just sit and sob. I am so, so sorry for your loss! Losing a pet who gives nothing but unconditional love is very traumatic. I don't know what else to say other than grieve the loss for as long as it takes. Please don't let anyone tell you it's just an animal, that just drives me insane!

TKDLady · 06-21-2008, 07:53 AM

I am sorry IvyRose. I know how you feel. The pet that started this thread had to be put down not too long after I wrote it. Losing a pet is just as bad as losing a family member sometimes. Let yourself grieve. Give yourself time. When you are ready maybe go and get another pet. I know it won't be the same but it may fill some of the void.