Dogs -vs- Cats (A jokie)

Merika · 10-26-2004, 05:08 PM

EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:

8:00 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9:30 a.m.Oh, boy! A car ride! My favorite!
9:40 a.m.Oh, boy! A walk! My favorite!
10:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favorite!
11:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
Noon- Oh, boy! The kids! My favorite!
1:00 p.m.Oh, boy! The yard! My favorite!
4:00 p.m.Oh, boy! To the park! My favorite!
5:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5:30 p.m.Oh, boy! Pretty Mums! My favorite!
6:00 p.m.Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6:30 a.m.Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favorite!
8:30 p.m Oh, boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:

Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am
forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope
of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional
piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my
attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were
walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs. In an
attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again
induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair, must try this on their
bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a
good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was
some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary
confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use
it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and
maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy
to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has
got to be an informant, he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he
reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal
room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of
time....

Isis · 10-26-2004, 07:41 PM

That sounds like somthing my cat would say...she sure acts likes that most of the time!!! :evilin:

Duke · 10-26-2004, 08:48 PM

I love the dogs life, rofl.

Paul · 10-28-2004, 02:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merika

The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy
to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

ROFL I love my cat

Merika · 10-28-2004, 10:02 AM

Our cat is B*tchy! She won't have anything to do with the dog. You have to 'refresh' her food each time she comes in the door. She has 'spots' in the house which she thinks are all hers. She'll hiss at you if you piss her off.

The only person she really likes is Isis.

She IS a beautiful cat though. Real big, white and fluffy with blue eyes. She is also house trained like a dog.....so NO litter boxes!

Duke · 10-30-2004, 03:24 AM

My daughters cat actually thinks he's a dog. He gets lonely and always needs attention, he even fetches. He is by far one of the coolest cat's of all time.