Your best relationship that never worked.

Duke · 01-29-2005, 09:46 AM

Describe the best relationship you ever had with someone and why it never worked out, or even, why it did work out.

For me, I was with this one gal who I really knew loved me approx. 12 years ago now. She was very attractive, very physical, caring, warm, compassionate and would die trying to please me. I tried to love her for the year and a half we were together but ultimately couldn't. The only flaw she had that was too large for me to deal with was she had to talk to her parents twice every single day. If we ever got into arguments, as couples do, her father would ban me from visiting their household. Why I'm still not certain. I also didn't like the fact that I had to make her decisions for her much of the time because she simply didn't want to. It made me feel more like a father than a boyfriend so I ultimately ended it.

Star · 01-29-2005, 11:00 AM

The best relationship I ever had was with my first love. I started dating him when I was 17 and stayed with him for 4 years.

We had a ton of fun together. We travelled with our friends, we enjoyed spending time alone together, we would do all kinds of things. He loved me so much he would've given the moon if he could and I loved him just as much. The love for eachother was totally mutual.

I ended the relationship because I wasn't patient. I've always regreted it. he didn't have a job and I was the one always working to support us. at times i held 3 jobs! He just didn't have ambition back then and seemed a little depressed about where his future was going. So, I moved back home and got a job here and left him behind. I broke it off with him a day before his birthday (I know, what a B**** of me.). I still hate that I did that to him.

He ended up moving to a different city and got a job being a garbage truck driver for the city. He's still doing that as far as I know. He ended up getting married and having 2 little girls. He's divorced his wife about 10 or so years ago.

When Krystal's father died, I wanted to call him up so bad but he was married at the time and I didn't want to confuse him and be the cause of breaking up his family. So I didn't call. I got together with him once when hubby and i broke up for 3 months. i called him up, he was single, he came down (drove 8 hours) to pick me up and bring me to see a concert. It was so nice to be spending time with him but by this time, I was in love with hubby and had 2 kids and needed to work things out so i can keep my family together. He left and that was the last time i saw of talked to him.

I do hope that he's met a nice lady that treats him well. I hope he's got a happy life. I still think about him and miss him terribly. I'm in love with 2 men. I would miss and regret it if I left hubby for the other one also so I'm better off to stay put and keep my family together. It wasn't meant to be with the other guy.

twinkle · 01-29-2005, 12:07 PM

I can't say I regret the relationshoips I had and didn't work.

What I do regret is one relationship I did not have the courage to pursue. I was still in highschool and I knew this guy way older than me - 8 years I think. HE was and is still the most GORGEOUS male I ever laid eyes on. Green eyes, blach hair, olive complexion, tall, perfect taste in music, very laid back style of clothes... I think he had in his bed half the women in my city. HE was a salesman at the coolest music store in town, had really hot friends, anyway... real dreamy.

I was with my friends hanging around that store, he came to me, casually dropped in the conversation he'd be at a certain party, etc. He did the right moves, we kissed but i like being in control. I was scared. There were lots of girls doing the same thing as I did, so I just didn't trust him.

We had a few dates and it was a bit certain where things were heading. HE'd never call, it was always me doing most of the job. On one side it was sooo incredible, no one knew we were going out, I felt no pressure from him, but still... I would have liked some more effort. So I stopped going to his work place and that was it.

I know he is the best kisser I ever met and I don't even want to imagine how he was in bed :oops: .

It was a dangerous time, I had to prepare my entrance exam at the university and was to leave town next year. It was years untill I totally stopped thinking about him. Unfortunately I'm the type of girl that cannot have affairs. I give my heart completely once a man gets me in his bed. Only two succeded so far, so I'm extracarefull. I hate getting hurt.

darkangelism · 01-29-2005, 12:13 PM

he sounds like a man***** not a good realtionship.

Star · 01-29-2005, 12:26 PM

that "relationship" sounds like it was pretty much one sided from your end twinkle. I think you did good to not go back and end it there. I think he would've hurt you lots if you would've stayed any longer. He sounds like a player. Is he still living life as a player? But, I can see what attracted you to him though. I was always attracted to the "bad" boys. even though i knew they were no good for me.

darkangelism · 01-29-2005, 12:51 PM

players are really good at manipulation, i think they are pretty much scumbags...and my heroes, lol, kidding.

Stone · 01-29-2005, 01:35 PM

I have never had a good relationship :oops:

darkangelism · 01-29-2005, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoneheather

I have never had a good relationship :oops:

awww

Meanon · 01-29-2005, 05:39 PM

Quote:

that "relationship" sounds like it was pretty much one sided from your end twinkle

That's almost always the case in these types of situations. One cares too much, the other is less bothered - otherwise the relationship would have happened. I don't know which is preferable, taking a reckless risk of getting badly hurt or living with the regret. Catch 22.

Duke:

Quote:

I tried to love her for the year and a half we were together but ultimately couldn't

Duke how can this have been your best relationship? A great relationship is one which moves you and makes you feel great. One in which you simply can't get enough of the other person, warts and all. Not one in which you have to make an effort to love another, no matter how caring or attractive they are. Listen to your head by all means but trust your heart, Duke.

Duke · 01-29-2005, 08:09 PM

It was my best relationship because she happens to be one of the very few people who I know genuinely cared about me. I loved her dearly for that but couldn't fall in love because of other things. I've never really realized how much of a role trust plays in a relationship and just how big of a word trust is. In fact, I almost wonder if saying I trust you is a larger sign of affection than I love you.

Merika · 01-30-2005, 12:10 PM

I'll go back to:

The only common denominator in all my failed relationships has been me.

I think I pick relationships which are doomed to fail....so I'll have an excuse to leave down the road and feel justified. I avoid the men who I could never leave because they are wonderful. I'm an idiot.

Meanon · 01-30-2005, 03:19 PM

It's not idiotic. It's a natural response to seek to retain emotional control when the loss of it in the past has been associated with pain. These lessons run very deep. Unfortunately, it rarely works. Either you care too little to feel real love and boredom sets in or you fall in love with unsuitable people.

Paul · 01-31-2005, 07:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

I've never really realized how much of a role trust plays in a relationship and just how big of a word trust is. In fact, I almost wonder if saying I trust you is a larger sign of affection than I love you.

WOW! I can't think of any truer words. I'm still trying to scrape up what's left of my best relationship. It's so hard because I truely love her with all my heart and yet I don't trust her one bit.

Duke · 01-31-2005, 08:56 PM

Same can be said for my past relationship. I'm not sure how to properly categorize that fiasco. :roll: