Why Do A Lot Of Girls Go For Bad Boys...

Luba · 03-02-2008, 08:52 PM

when they could settle for a decent, upstanding guy? I work with some very, very wonderful young men in their 30's who can't seem to get a girl to stay with them because of finding a 'bad boy'! I see these wonderful guys at work with having commitment to offer, a sense of humour that doesn't stop, love, warmth, and all that and have trouble finding women for commitment.

This thread made me think of something Zil said in one of his posts.

TKDLady · 03-02-2008, 09:31 PM

Wife beaters excluded, I think it might be the daredevil attitude. Kind of like Fonzie from Happy Days. Maybe it provides a sense of excitement and adventure. I don't know. Just my ideas.

IvyRose · 03-02-2008, 10:30 PM

Like TKDLady, I think it is some sort of a daredevil attitute, along with the mother nurturing side to some females. They think they can change a man into what they want and the challenge of doing so is exciting.

The idea of, "He could have had a choice of anyone, but he chose me," seems to boost some women's low self-esteems. Also the, "He's so mean to everyone except for me," makes some women feel powerful.

It's just an opinion I've formed.

Vautrin · 03-03-2008, 05:32 AM

Well, the human psyche has been transformed so much in society, that anything that is not exciting is not worth much attention.

How often do you see normal stories about normal people published anyway?

Luba · 03-03-2008, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IvyRose

Like TKDLady, I think it is some sort of a daredevil attitute, along with the mother nurturing side to some females. They think they can change a man into what they want and the challenge of doing so is exciting.

The idea of, "He could have had a choice of anyone, but he chose me," seems to boost some women's low self-esteems. Also the, "He's so mean to everyone except for me," makes some women feel powerful.

It's just an opinion I've formed.

I think that is SO true, IvyRose!

Duke · 03-04-2008, 02:42 AM

So answer me this, why do so many women act surprised when their dumped, cheated on, etc., with guys like this?

It's really hard to empathize for someone who made themselves a victim in the first place.

Vautrin · 03-04-2008, 06:13 AM

It is called delusional thinking. Society as a whole pretty much promotes stupidity as the measure of all things. Relationships are no exception.

Luba · 03-04-2008, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

So answer me this, why do so many women act surprised when their dumped, cheated on, etc., with guys like this?

It's really hard to empathize for someone who made themselves a victim in the first place.

I think they are surprised because they totally believe their passionate and total love for this kind of man will change him! Some women out there STILL believe they actually could change a man, when it's the man who has to recognize his faults and change within himself!

Note: It's the bad boys I'm talking about, not the GREAT ones I've 'met' here!

Vautrin · 03-04-2008, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Luba

I think they are surprised because they totally believe their passionate and total love for this kind of man will change him! Some women out there STILL believe they actually could change a man, when it's the man who has to recognize his faults and change within himself!

That can happen once in a life-time, but most of these women make it a life-time habit to be surprised.

IvyRose · 03-04-2008, 08:43 AM

It depends on what the 'bad boy' has said or promised to the woman.

People can change, but they have to want to change and it takes longer than a weekend. Like Luba said, the women think their love can change the man and end up being surprised when it doesn't.

Duke · 03-04-2008, 12:09 PM

I agree that people can change however I don't think many people actually do change, at least not intentionally.

Zil · 03-04-2008, 11:42 PM

I have a question:

If a woman loves a man, and I mean truly and deeply loves and cares for him and who he is... why on earth would she feel the need to try and change him?

Seriously.

It doesn't make sense to me and it never will.

IvyRose · 03-04-2008, 11:50 PM

Example:

A 'bad boy' takes drugs. A woman tries to change that.

It's not that a woman would try to change the man she loves, just make him a better version of himself. *Blech* Which is changing him.

What really gets me is if a woman knows that the man she loves has a wandering eye, she still believes she can change that and make him understand she is the only one for him.

Sometimes the man will change, then again, most of the time he doesn't.

That's what we're talking about, Zil.

Would you still love a woman if she continued to cheat on you over and over? It's a flaw within herself, would you try and help her with that problem or let it continue?