Torn Between Two Lovers

Merika · 05-04-2005, 07:07 PM

I've always been a firm believer in that if a person can't make up their mind between two people.....that neither one is fulfilling all in which they are looking for. OR....is it more that they are never happy with just one person inherently?

I was thinking about Paul's situation... but by looking into your own life....could you love two people at the same time?

darkangelism · 05-04-2005, 07:29 PM

i think so, who is to say there is only one right person.

Star · 05-04-2005, 09:24 PM

yes you can love 2 different people. but, you can only be in love with one.

Like Paul's situation, I was in that same boat when I was 20 and with my first love. I think what happened with me was that I did love dave with all of my heart and soul but at the same time, I needed to be free to explore. I think I fell in love too early in life and that's what confused me. By the time I realized I had made a big mistake, he was married with 2 kids. When Krystal's father died, he was already divorced but I didn't know that. If I would've tried to get in touch with him, we would be together today. I thought he was happy and I didn't want to wreck his happiness.

I will always love dave. he'll always hold a piece of my heart but I am in love with gerry and will spend the rest of my life with him. Gerry is my life and I couldn't imagine living life without him.

I'm a big believer in "if it's meant to be, it will be. If not, it won't be." and I do live life by that rule.

it is possible to love more then one person IMHO.

Duke · 05-05-2005, 12:05 AM

I've always been torn between more than two. It's funny how you can be single for a long time then finally get hooked up, only to have a stampede beating their way to your door when your taken.

Star · 05-05-2005, 05:41 AM

it was always that way with me. always had someone waiting for the breakup so they can scoop me up. Sometimes i wish that I would have stayed single longer in between boyfriends. I think the longest time i was ever single was 2 months. even after krystal's father died, i had guys at my door wanting to take me out. He died at the end of July and by the end of september, I was with gerry. it wasn't enough time in between. we're lucky we made it!

Rock · 05-05-2005, 08:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Star

it was always that way with me. always had someone waiting for the breakup so they can scoop me up. Sometimes i wish that I would have stayed single longer in between boyfriends.

ME TOO!

Star you just said something that has been on my mind a very long time. Until I met Jen I did not have and I did not want a girlfriend for the past 5 months. My friend, Sung-kist (yes, like the orange juice) who is Korean thought I was going through some very serious sexual identity problem! He could not understand how I was not interested in all the girls that were always calling me or taliking to me with one excuse or another.

It is totally exausting to be constantly bombared with these offers "waiting to scoop you up." I am glad to find someone like you star who understands this problem.

Star · 05-05-2005, 08:58 AM

having someone waiting for you all the time was flattering but was also extremely annoying at times. I'm so happy that I don't have these troubles anymore. I'm married now and quite content to stay where i am.

darkangelism · 05-05-2005, 11:00 AM

i dont understand that, well i do, i just dont see how it woul ever feel right, im constantly looking for a relationship.

Star · 05-05-2005, 11:05 AM

Quote:

i dont understand that, well i do, i just dont see how it woul ever feel right, im constantly looking for a relationship.

that could be the problem DA. You're trying too hard. I never went for someone who tried too hard to go out with me. the ones I chose were the ones who were cool about persuing me. The ones that tried too hard I thought were too desperate and I stayed away from them.

If you stopped trying so hard, I bet you'd find a girl to have a relationship with. It would just happen.

darkangelism · 05-05-2005, 11:32 AM

doesnt make sense in my head to not try, and i dont know how to stop.

Rock · 05-05-2005, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkangelism

doesnt make sense in my head to not try, and i dont know how to stop.

What does this mean?

You do "know how to stop." People who do not know how to stop something are generally institutionalized and/or treated for addiction.

darkangelism · 05-05-2005, 12:58 PM

i dont know how to stop trying so hard...not stop anything im addicted to.

Adonaicole · 05-05-2005, 02:14 PM

Quote:

could you love two people at the same time?

Of course you can! I love my son and have room to love a woman if the right one ever came along. But you can't have two lovers at once, that means you don't love either one, if you did there wouldn't be two.

Duke · 05-06-2005, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adonaicole

Quote:

could you love two people at the same time?

Of course you can! I love my son and have room to love a woman if the right one ever came along.

These are two very different types of love IMHO.

Merika · 05-06-2005, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adonaicole

But you can't have two lovers at once, that means you don't love either one, if you did there wouldn't be two.

I totally agree. I think perhaps someone can lust after more than one or enjoy the flirt with more than one......but never being head over heels in love with more than one.