Staying in bad relationships

Stone · 12-13-2004, 03:15 PM

Did you stay in a bad relationship for your children? How long did it last? Do you think it can be improved if both parties agree to work at it? how releived we're you when you left that relationship? Do your kids feel the effect of being divorced? what finally made you end it?

Sorry so many questions, i am thinking of leaving my b/f. (Again)

twinkle · 12-13-2004, 04:28 PM

My parents stayed in a bad relationship. I still can't forgive myself for not interfearing when my mom wanted to leave my dad.

So my answer to your question: people can stay in bad relationships for indefinite amouts of time. Once routine gets in, it's very very hard to break the circuit.

My advice is: if you feel you're not satisfied, the first occasion you get to take off, LEAVE! It won't get better and it may be years 'til you get the courage to do so. If you ever do so.

I stayed with my ex for 4 years. Left him after 2, came back to him like an idiot because I was impressed by his hurting and because I though that he can love enough for us both.

Wanted to leave again after another year, stayed one more year which was HELL.

I only left him because I was in another country for 6 months and even then, he practically forced me to dump him. Can't believe how BLIND and most of all COWARD I was.

Be true to yourself, listen a lot to yourself and hopefully you won't get there.

Merika · 12-13-2004, 07:20 PM

YES I HAVE..... and it was by far the DUMBEST of all my other DUMB life decisions.

I don't believe you should stay with anyone for any other reason than loving to wake up with them next to you. Once you've lost that....the rest is a great big joke.

Just MY opinion though.....

Duke · 12-13-2004, 07:48 PM

Yes I did, it sucked, took too long to end, I'm still scarred.

I'm waiting for Stoneheather to move to BC

Merika · 12-13-2004, 09:48 PM

:kisses: I bet Duke has mistltoe stapled up all over his ceiling.....trying to get smooches!

Duke · 12-13-2004, 09:52 PM

I don't need mistletoe, I'm just so damn kissable as it is.

Merika · 12-13-2004, 10:05 PM

I guess it all depends on if you are wearing your pants...... :wink:

Duke · 12-13-2004, 10:35 PM

That only makes it worse.

Star · 12-13-2004, 11:13 PM

My relationship with hubby at the begining was pretty bad. As a matter of fact, it was bad for the first 4 years and I stayed in it because he had potential. :wink:

I left him twice before we were married. We set dates for marriage 3 times and I called them all off except for the last one when I knew he was ready. Sometimes it's worth sticking around if you know there's room for improvement. It was worth it for me. I just had to be a little more patient and wait for him to grow up a bit more. I don't think I would've stayed in the relationship if it took more then 4 years for him to change his ways though. I would've left then for sure!

He used to drive me batty with his insecurities and possessiveness. I couldn't say hello to another guy without being accused of flirting with him! It didn't matter how ugly or old the guy was, he'd get jealous all the time! Drove me crazy! I think what drove him even crazier was that I didn't get jealous. Maybe that's what fixed him?

He's not like that anymore thank god!! He's grown up some now and knows that he has nothing to be jealous about. Men! They're such big babies sometimes!! :roll:

Duke · 12-13-2004, 11:23 PM

Noooo weeereeeee notttttt.

Star · 12-13-2004, 11:42 PM

point made :wink:

Stone · 12-15-2004, 06:56 PM

I really cant see myself staying in this relationship I really don't think I love him anymore... but maby I should wait my mood has been off lately. I also think it would be a bad move to be pregnant alone, I do need help with the med bills, Noah and I will need help with the baby.... I am so miserable with him he has already put me thru so much donkey crap! I moved into my son's room today, I am kind of sad about it. he thinks I expect to much out of a relationship... I don't know jeeze am I in a mess :roll:

Stone · 12-15-2004, 06:56 PM

darn it I double posted again

Duke · 12-15-2004, 07:15 PM

Don't stay with him for the support reasons, trust me, no good will come of it. The eventual split will only be much worse and heated and the people who suffer the most are usually the kids.

Surely you must have friends or family close by that can help out, or at least I hope you do. I wish I lived closer to you because I'd help you out.

Stone · 12-15-2004, 07:17 PM

Thanks duke I know you would