The rules of dating

[Duke]

Even though my daughter isn't dating as of yet, I'd still like to discuss with her the rules of dating. Of course now that I think of it, I'm not even sure what they are so I'm asking for your help, any ideas?

Basically, it would be great to understand proper dating etiquette so as not to potentially hurt someone in the process. Of course I know this isn't always possible but it never hurts to have some guidelines because they can potentially steer you away from trouble.

If I were to go by my own vague idea of dating it would be the following (which is pr0lly horribly off):

• dating multiple partners/playing the field: this should be ok as long as your not having sex with any of them.
• exclusive dating: should be discussed, not assumed. Also, one should date only one person at a time if there is sex involved.
• honesty: be honest from the get go otherwise it can spiral into a lie later. This means not only being honest with your partner but being honest with yourself.
• changing someone: you can't do it, don't try. If it's a matter of simple compromises then things could work but actual personality changes are next to impossible.
• drinking/partying: always watch your drink. If you lose sight of it for even a moment then order a new one because you never know what someone may have put in it.

  Originally Posted by Vautrin

  Never accept drinks from people you don't know as they may be spiked. Some research suggests that as many as 1 in 4 women may become a victim of such practice.

• compromising principles: we all know the difference between right and wrong, don't sacrifice your principles for someone else.
• abuse: abuse comes in many forms and may not rear it's ugly head right away. Regardless of type of abuse, do not let your partner get away with it. It's much easier to leave an abusive relationship than try to work through and fix it.

Any thoughts on the above or additions to it?

Thanks.

[Vautrin]

Originally Posted by Duke

[*]drinking/partying: always watch your drink. If you lose sight of it for even a moment then order a new one because you never know what someone may have put in it.

Add to that: never accept drinks from people you don't know. They may be spiked; some research suggests that as many as 1 in 4 women may become a victim of such practice.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by Vautrin

Add to that: never accept drinks from people you don't know. They may be spiked; some research suggests that as many as 1 in 4 women may become a victim of such practice.

Good call.

I'll be adding all responses to the first post so you won't have to scroll throughout the entire topic to find who said what.

[wolvesjr34]

I don't know if this is a rule or common sense...

If you know a relationship is not going to work. Do not hang around for the other person's sake. It will only make it worse down the track. get out the moment you are sure it's not going to work. Saves a lot more heartache.

[PepsiChic]

im not sure i agree with "playing the field" i dont think its something people should be encouraged to do. unless in an "open relationship" in which the other partners know about each other, it is cheating. and for some this is incredibly hurtful.

[Duke]

Originally Posted by PepsiChic

im not sure i agree with "playing the field" i dont think its something people should be encouraged to do. unless in an "open relationship" in which the other partners know about each other, it is cheating. and for some this is incredibly hurtful.

This is more of a commitment issue so nobody can ever be correct on what is and isn't acceptable. If you really are adverse to dating multiple prospective partners you must make your date aware of this issue. Even then you can never really be sure because dating is more a way of screening a potential partner rather than actually settling down.

Many people see dating as similar to shopping for items such as clothing, real estate, vehicles, etc., you never just look at one object; you look around and find something that suits your needs first before committing to anything.

I do see your point that it should be mentioned but just be aware, many people see dating as just that, dating, which is by no means an indication of exclusive partnership.

[PepsiChic]

i wonder then if thats more an american thing? dating as ive always known it to be for me and my friends as meaning to be in a relationship. as in if your dating someone, your "with them", in a relationship.

i just feel that dating, as in your terms and understanding, should be explained thoroughly so that children like your daughter grow up knowing that what one person perceives it be may not be how others see it, and if playing the field its only fair all parties involved know.

either way i think you understand what im saying.