Online Dating

Stone · 03-07-2005, 03:52 PM

The Bachlorhood thread reminded me of online dating.

Anyone ever tried it? What we're your experiences? I used to think it was silly but all the friggin losers I've dated I can TOTALLY see how someone can just go to EHarmoony or something like that and order there Soul Mate.

What do you think about it?

Star · 03-07-2005, 09:34 PM

I've never been single when computers were popular so I've never tried it myself but I can tell you what I think about it.

Personally, I'd be afraid; very afraid of that because people can hide who they really are behind their computer screens. They can be beautiful, thin perfect people. what you might get isn't so perfect. I'm not talking about someone who's only 20 or 30 pounds overweight, that i don't care about. I'm talking personality wise. I'd be terrified that the one I end up meeting is a psychopath who wants to rape me and my children. With my luck, that's probably what i'd end up with! 8O

I met my boyfriends in the weirdest places. I met one when i was 16 at the corner store, hubby came right to my front door with a case of beer (don't ask :roll: ), another I met walking home from the mall...

You can meet people anywhere! I never had a problem meeting anyone when I was single (ahhhhh......those were the good old days ). One rule I always had and always kept was never to date anyone I met in a bar and I never did. The reason is because if you met them in a bar, chances are they'll always be in a bar and I didn't want some bar fly as a boyfriend so I never went there. I would let them buy me drinks, dance with them and sit with them all night but when the bar closed, we went our seperate ways never to meet up again.

I think online dating is a personal choice myself. Some get lucky at it and others don't. I would just be way too scared that I'd end up with a ted bundy or something! :?

Stone · 03-07-2005, 11:00 PM

I have no problem getting dates, I get attached quickly I am one of those skrewed up people who feels incomplete unless I am in love, so I constantly sate men not getting to know much about them.

That's where the internet thing seems appealing, you get to know the person inside before any real contact takes place... my luck I'd meet MR wonderful and it was Ted BUNDY or some wacked out lesbian in a jail cell. LMAO

darkangelism · 03-07-2005, 11:16 PM

There are plenty of normal guys on dating sites...id say me, but im not normal, so im not a good example, you would get lots of guys emailing you.

Duke · 03-08-2005, 12:15 AM

You take your chances no matter how you choose to date. The only reason I'd give a bit of an advantage to online dating is that you already know what the persons interests are before you choose to get to know them.

twinkle · 03-08-2005, 01:51 AM

Nope, I think you don't. I think you expose yourself, because you say just what you like and the other person can use that against you.... I may be a bit overrecting. I'm very much against dating people on internet. It makes me feel vulnerable.

So the dating scene for me is on the real life. Friends, outings, bars, clubs, libraries, swimming pools... LOL that type of stuff.

Duke · 03-08-2005, 02:06 AM

You only expose yourself online if you're using a webcam ;-)

twinkle · 03-08-2005, 03:48 AM

How about microphone ?

Duke · 03-08-2005, 03:52 AM

I don't believe so but I could be wrong.

Vautrin · 03-08-2005, 07:51 AM

Never tried it, maybe will someday. As I am not quite a party-animal (who would have guessed that?) , and spending time with reading and writing, I don't see too many chances to meet women.

I can write anywhere, but I prefer the solitude, as my thoughts can wander almost perfectly. I like to read in solitude, as everywhere else there is always someone who is seemingly putting in an effort to distract you all the time.

In a sense you are vulnerable in any dating situation. But the point is, the other person cannot see your physical reactions to your statements, so if you have a good understanding of psychology, you should be able to eliminate the fakes from the real ones.

Stone · 03-08-2005, 08:09 AM

I will not be daing ANYONE any time soon but I seem to hear more horror stories then good stories when it comes to online dating.

Star · 03-08-2005, 08:14 AM

i've seen those horror stories on talk shows and on the news. that's why i wouldn't even go there if i were single. too scary for me!

although, i've come across some pretty nasty guys in my life too and i met them in real life.

I'm so happy that i don't have to deal with the dating thing anymore! such a headache! :?

Vautrin · 03-08-2005, 08:29 AM

If we look at all the statistics no form of dating makes sense. No relationship makes sense, statistically speaking, and if things keep developing as they are marriage does not make much sense anymore in the near future.

If you have the insight, you sense when someone is real, and when someone is not, solely based on words. On another forum, we had the combination of 'no spirituality' with 'good introspection.' Alarmbells anyone?

The same is true, with real-world dating. If you can't "read" a person properly chances are you end up with someone bad.
In the real world dating you tend to pay less attention to his/her words, but more attention to the body language. But if you read "confidence", from one's body language, but don't read his words, you might end up with an arrogant and confident piece of garbage.

Merika · 03-08-2005, 09:04 AM

I guess I've been on the internet so long.....I really don't draw any lines between the people I've met online as opposed to the people I've first met in person.

If any of you were going to be in my area....I wouldn't have the slightest hesitancy to invite you to my house. Same is true for other people I met online when chat rooms were more popular. Thru the years I've met LOTS of people face to face who I first met online. Some were just friends...some were more in a date capacity. There really is no difference.

I could bring up the issue of guys who say they are single when they are married....but that same scenario happens in bars on a daily basis. What do you really know about anyone....just because they happen to be face to face with you? If we did....perhaps divorce wouldn't be so rampant.

SH...to answer your question....I would be careful with the date sites and be more prone to be in a community forum situation where you can get to know someone. However, beyond the occasional horror stories which can occur regardless of how you meet a guy, millions of people engage in meeting someone online first and have been safe doing so. It's a great way to meet lots of guys and chose which one more shares your interests. ....as opposed to in a bar where all you have in common is a drink in your hands.

Vautrin · 03-08-2005, 09:42 AM

Date sites can work. But only for particular groups.

For instance: one of my female friends suffers from the "disorder" of high intelligence.
Most men she meets, are unable to handle that. Most men you would meet would not have an IQ close to 140, as she has. Of every 260 persons you would meet, 1 person has an IQ of 140 and above.
The fact that she found out, that most men are scared of a woman with a brain, made her chose for internet dating. And so far, it seems succesful.

If however you have an IQ of 100, and date within 10 IQ points, almost 50 percent of the people would qualify. Then this selection method is without much use.