Living together before marriage

Star · 10-24-2004, 02:21 PM

Do you believe that living together before getting married is a good or bad idea?

My husband and I lived together for 6 years before we decided to get married. We were both really afraid of marriage but we came to a point where we all had a different last name and it got confusing for the kids so we went ahead and tied the knot.

I believe that living together is a very good idea before marriage. You really don't know someone until you live with them. JMHO

Duke · 10-24-2004, 02:56 PM

I agree that living together is the way to go prior to marriage. It's the only way to be sure you're compatible 24/7.

Stone · 10-24-2004, 04:21 PM

I have been living with my b/f for almost 2 years and we're not married, It feels like we are.

I see some good points and bad about it. The good is you do see if you are compatible, you find out the others living habits, how they handel money, children, ect., tax benifits

The bad is: I don't think things like a proposal / wedding is as romantic if you've been shacked up, It seems people work harder on maintaining their relationships when they are married, and it is a supposed to be a sin in my religion.

I have already lived with 3 men, and I feel like I have already been divorced twice. Although I "shack UP" I don't think I would want the same for my children.

Star · 10-24-2004, 04:55 PM

I've lived with a couple men before my husband and I'm really happy I didn't marry them cause then I'd be a devorcee.

We lived together for 6 years, had our little baby girl then got married. The proposal was very romantic as was our wedding day. He even went as far as to ask my father for my hand in marriage! Whether you live together or not before marriage, the proposal and the wedding should be romantic regardless. Romance keeps a relationship alive.

Living together is against my religion as well (I'm catholic) but I find nothing wrong with it. I'm not a very religious type of person so that part of it doesn't affect me too much.

to me, the difference between living together and being married is a piece of paper.

and yes, the tax benifits aren't too bad are they! :wink:

Merika · 10-24-2004, 09:07 PM

I guess each couple has to find what works out for them.

As for me....no marriage....no live together! The garden tub and remote are MINE MINE MINE!

Paul · 10-26-2004, 02:16 AM

According to my family, it's not "proper" to live with someone before you marry them, however I'm about to have my gf move in with me in the spring. I think it's good because I really want to get to know her and learn about myself and how I will do in this situation, before we get married. Also we don't intend to have sex until we're married, to each other or someone else lol, so I think it's just a good way to get to know each other and test compatibility.

she has a deadbeat dad

Duke · 10-26-2004, 05:56 AM

I think you also mentioned her mom isn't the greatest parent in the world either in another thread right?

Wapwap · 10-26-2004, 11:40 AM

My oldest brother also lived together first for some years before he got married.

I think its good to do, and a good test as well.

Merika · 10-26-2004, 12:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paul C

, however I'm about to have my gf move in with me in the spring..... Also we don't intend to have sex until we're married, to each other or someone else

Oh Paul C.....if this wasn't a 'family forum' and I didn't love ya....I could have so much fun with endless 'cold shower' jokes.....

Duke · 10-26-2004, 07:50 PM

It'll be interesting how long you guys stick to your guns on that one Paul. I'll be suprised if you can last a few months.

Paul · 10-26-2004, 11:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

I think you also mentioned her mom isn't the greatest parent in the world either in another thread right?

ROFL I was writing that for another topic, must have pasted it in there by accident. 8O That's hilarious!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

It'll be interesting how long you guys stick to your guns on that one Paul. I'll be suprised if you can last a few months.

Ya I get what you're saying Duke but I've gone 24 years, what's another couple.

If you can date different people and still maintain your same standards, why drop the ball in the home stretch? So all I can say is, no problemo! :wink:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Merika

Oh Paul C.....if this wasn't a 'family forum' and I didn't love ya....I could have so much fun with endless 'cold shower' jokes.....

Bring it in the admin forum Ms. M, I'm a sucker for punishment!! :twisted:

Merika · 10-27-2004, 07:59 AM

Point taken Paul C. LOL!

Don't you think it will be a whole lot different if you guys are in the same house.....as opposed to living in different towns now?

Duke · 10-27-2004, 08:51 AM

Being master of your domain is a bit different to master of a shared domain.

Good luck Paul, you're gonna need it.

Merika · 10-27-2004, 09:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Good luck Paul, you're gonna need it.

Are you being cynical or feeling a wee bit jealous? :topdown:

Paul · 10-27-2004, 12:05 PM

LOL Well I spent nearly everyday with my last gf for 2 years and slept over in her room, her parents were never concerned and neither were mine because I'm trust-worthy and had made my intentions clear. When I was young and first starting to get interested in girls, I made a commitment to myself and God that I would wait until I was married because I felt it was the right thing to do and was what he taught. Ya it will be different when you're living with the person b