Insecurity Issues...

[Apokryphos]

Well recently I met someone that I think I want to marry as soon as possible... :? wtf? right? haha, well she's wonderful and loving and loves my kids, and I'm quite fond of hers too. We have a wonderful chemistry together and it's complete bliss.

However, I've got this little problem that I can't seem to ignore...When we're talking or spending time with each other or any of that she'll say something and then sometimes (more often than not) I'll say something out of jealousy accusing her of doing something or whatever...I know its partly due to the fact of having such screwed up relationships in the past, and I do know that you can't move on without forgetting or putting the past behind you...

Is there anything that maybe I could do to stop doing this? I know it bothers her, and I know I hate starting little fights over something that is non-existent. I realize that it's my fault for doing so, but I just can't seem to grasp a handle on it, and keep from feeling this way...Any suggestions?

I don't really know how to explain this any more...so if you have any questions please feel free to ask me...I'm very open about my life so if I can help you understand what I'm trying to ask, please let me know.~

Thanks,
Casey

[Luba]

Maybe you could tell her what you posted here, be honest, tell her you don't want to be that way, but because of past relationships, you are.
Maybe the old saying of "Counting to Ten", some people say the first line of the Lord's prayer before saying anything will help...
Maybe tell her it's not even about her, it's about what's happened to you in the past...

If it was me hearing all this, I sure would try to understand and not take it personally...

[Merika]

Due to your past circumstances....I could see where you have a hard time trusting someone. However, if someone is going to be unfaithful....you harping about it all the time isn't going to stop them. And if they ARE being faithful....you harping on it is going to drive them away from you.

How to deal with it? I don't know. Talking to a counsellor takes big bucks and when you dont' have it....you don't have it. Maybe you could pick up a self help book at the bookstore or at a used bookstore dealing with this particular issue and see if it can give you some pointers on how to better communicate your fears....than accusing someone of something.

Again, it's understandable that you would have these insecurities....but only by taking responsibility for changing it....will you go on to have a productive, loving and trusting relationship with someone.

[darkangelism]

he is in school full time...prolly free counselling.

[Duke]

I say get over it d00d, your punishing her for your insecurities. Maybe sit down with her the next time you swallow your foot and at least let her understand where your issues are. Maybe instead of causing trouble, it could bring you closer together. Actually, instead of accusing her at all, sit her down, tell her what you were thinking and let her help you figure out why.

[Apokryphos]

Thanks guys...after a long talk and an email, I do believe things will be better. I don't mind talking about my problems whatsoever, I believe it's probably the first step towards help.

I appreciate all of your replies... :cheers:

Thanks,
+Casey+

Now if I just talk her into a :kisses: ...lol :twisted:
~kidding! That's fun but not to a relationship...haha, I feel cynical this morning... :comp .

Th4nk5 4941N, lol.

[Duke]

Hey, thank you for sharing buds.