I have a date

[darkangelism]

she cant seem to make up her mind, last night she was telling me she wants to do things to me, things i cant repeat on here. Its gonna drive me crazy until something happens or doesnt, and if nothing does its gonna hurt.

[Vautrin]

Originally Posted by darkangelism

she cant seem to make up her mind, last night she was telling me she wants to do things to me, things i cant repeat on here.

Points for naughtiness: 10/10

The thing is the limbo can't last for too long. Not for you, not for her. You will drive each other insane then.

Hope the two of you can force a way out of the stalemate.

[darkangelism]

Originally Posted by Vautrin

Points for naughtiness: 10/10

If you only knew...

but yeah its not a good place right now, basically it changes too much...9 days ago i "meet" her then last wed i see her IRL and it goes well, the next day she says she isnt ready not over her ex and ill that, i dont talk to her fri and she goes home for the weekend, 2 hours away, i talk to her saturday night and i tell her that because i dont want to wait for her and have her not want me in the end and that im gonna date other girls until she is ready, then sun night i talk to her and she wants me in a physical way, but we just talk and i dont see her, today she texts me and wants to hang out and she ends the text with "kisses" rather then "hugs" like every other time, but then goes to the movie with her friend and says she will call me when she gets home because she misses me.

So my though is either by me saying im not gonna wait she chose to move now so she doesnt lose me, or when she was home her family, who knows about my existence, told her to go for me...those are the only explanations i have...so i want to progress somewhat now to a relationship, for the stability between us, or stay friends, but then im gonna be with other people...my personal opinion is that her ex really played mind games and she needs a strong nice guy to start breaking some of those bad habits. I really like her and i need it to either work, or not work so i can be with her or move on, i mean all day long i think about her and i am trying not to fall for her too quickly.

I am overthinking everything and im trying not to, but its hard.

[darkangelism]

Sooo, well she came over and we talked about what we wanted and she said she changed her mind about just being friends because she is starting to like me too much and im too nice and sweet for her to not want more. That was at the start of the night, right when i first saw her as she got out of her car...and well when she left it was with a kiss, with lots of that in between, so well, i think its gonna work out, we are the right person for the other personality wise.

[Meanon]

That's great news DA! You so deserve it too.

i really like her and she likes me, she just needs time, she was telling me that when i was with her it felt right and wrong at the same time, and that totally messes with my head, because i feel good that she likes me and bad that i cant be with her. She needs a guy like me that wont hurt her. Her ex fiance was a real scumbag...he was 10 years older, she was underage and he is late 20s when they met she had to lie to people about his age, he was using her the whole time a real power trip...he hopefully never shows up again, otherwise im gonna hurt him.

No wonder she changed her mind. She clearly appreciates your personality and as she said, you are too sweet for her to risk losing you.

It's not unusual for girls with this experience to both crave and not be able to handle guys being nice to them, that's what leads to them feeling good and bad at the same time. It sounds like she is gaining sufficient reassurance from the relationship to overcome these feelings so the signs are good for both of you. If, as you continue to get closer, she continues to feel bad, it will be because she's not ready. It won't be because of you. It's important you don't lose sight of this fact as you get to know each other better, otherwise you will be less able to help her through these difficulties. Meanwhile, it sounds like you have one Hell of a Honeymoon Period to get through. Enjoy!

[IR_Efrem]

beware my friend

don't fall into a .. um ... wounded bird syndrome, ya that sounds good

that is you find some one hurt and think you can make it alright and better because yur such a nice guy and can chow her the way n such

this is not saying that you aren't allowed to help her with problems she is having.

This is saying, be careful and do not allow a reasonable amount of time to pass before things actually do get better, if you keep thinking things will get better, over and over. You end up waiting WAY to long for things to get better and they never do. This is a good way to out right allow yourself to get hurt. Be careful bro and keep yur mind and heart open.

[darkangelism]

she is gone again, says she is spending to much time with me and her schoolwork is suffering. i just feel sick, i dont think im gonna be trying to date again for awhile, i cant do it anymore.

[Meanon]

Hugs to you, DA. I'm so sorry. I didn't want to rain on your parade yesterday and worry you but the signs were there from the beginning with this girl. She can't handle getting to close to someone, but she does like you. That's why she's there one minute and gone the next. This is not your usual dating scenario and she has not rejected you DA, she's just mixed up and hurting.

She'll most likely be back soon, but I really would take care with this girl and try not to get in too deep too soon. There's nothing about you that made this happen. you can not "fix" her. You can only help a little if she is at a place where she can do it herself. It's sad, I know, the loss of hope you had for the two of you. Please don't make any more of it that that.

[darkangelism]

i know they were, i knew it from when i first contacted her online, i saw them, i just blinded myself to them. I thought i could "fix" her. Yeah im expecting her back, she already posted a comment on my myspace page like nothing happened at all, however im not sure what i want to do, if i should wait or not, i do like her and she has good qualities, but i dont know if im strong enough to handle it, and that is saying a lot, because i can stand against huge odds. I am reluctant to pull away because I would only add to her pain at this point. Currently the situation is that she wants to wait a few days and then talk about it, at that point im planning on asking for a month of no contact and then see where everything is with us, i dont want her out of my life, but i dont want her to push herself into something with me that will fail...i thought the last 2 guys before me were going to be enough of a rebound for her to heal, but it doesnt look like it, and i almost care enough for her to stand in that role knowing full well its gonna end at somepoint, if it helps her heal.

I know it isnt me, but its like if none of the happy girls like me, then maybe there is something that is wrong with me.
Some of it, is i just want something to work, for me to stop being lonely.

[darkangelism]

well i talked to her and it is me that she doesnt like me because im disabled, which is the stupidest thing i have ever heard i laughed at her. told her she was being an idiot, and that she shouldnt judge me on that...so it wasnt the ex or any of that, it was me...she was like we shouldnt talk anymore, so i told her i wasnt gonna let her go that easy, and so now we are in an official relationship, though im still wary for now of getting hurt

[Duke]

I'm sorry da but this is a bit funny (I know you prolly don't want to hear it). This is the dating world and when its good, its really good but there are plenty of suck parts in the middle.

Think of the most gut wrenching and absolutely meaningless Soap Opera on TV, multiply it by the factor of infinity and you'll end up in the world of dating lol. Just be thankful that you don't have a child with a failed relationship, there isn't a factor large enough to describe how sucky a situation that is.

[darkangelism]

oh i agree at this point, yeah it has hurt and felt good, but if i look at objectively from the outside its hilarious, and probably deserves its own soap,lol.

[Vautrin]

Dating is hell - but there is no other way, unless you are into arranged marriages. Don't let this bring you down DA.