He's just not that into You

Samson · 12-29-2004, 08:18 AM

Could have also been titled She's just not that into You.

The book can be excerpt from Amazon:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/0689...o.x=14&go.y=10

but, seems to say it all in the subtitle; The no excuses guide to understanding guys [or girls].

If you haven't read the book (and I have not) the premise is that women would do well to cease obsessing upon why particular men simply aren't interested in them (calling, taking them out, proposing marriage), trying to change men, wondering how they might change themselves, etc., etc.... The phrase/title seems flippant, yet so extraordinarily accurate (and literal to a greater than lesser extent) that I cannot think of any other language to express the thought.

Can you?

Fayebelle · 12-29-2004, 08:49 AM

I have seen SO MUCH propaganda for this book and it all seems like "Duh!" stuff that everyone should know... but few really recognize themselves in these situations. Now whenever I hear someone going on and on and on about the lack of attention from the SO or crush I just wanna scream "THEY'RE JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU!!!" But the book is there b/c too many peeps are cowards like me and would rather lend an ear to the rantings then hurt someone's feelings saying those 6 lil words.

Merika · 12-29-2004, 09:30 PM

I've said this before and will say it again.....men don't know they are ugly. I've been asked out by men that I couldn't believe even had the audacity to ask me. That will sound bad....only until you put in perspective I worked in a ship yard and GAWD....some of those guys were more than GROSS!
......like 3 jagged teeth, a bicycle for transportation and the IQ of a small squirrel :? [/b]

Star · 12-29-2004, 11:42 PM

Those sound like nice guys to bring home to mother. 8O can you imagine what your children would look like? YIKES!! scary! :?

Merika · 12-30-2004, 11:55 AM

I think many people get shot down on the date scene because they don't have the ability to 'qualify' themselves. That sounds harsh...but not everyone is in the same league as everyone else. It's that simple.

I may love Brad Pitt (I don't, but lets say I did) and think I'd be perfect for him. I may go after him. But guess what....I'm kidding myself. I would be asking for a complete let down. I don't look like a runway model and I certainly don't look like his wife does. (I would've been MEAN competition at 21 though....hahaha!)

Men, more so than women though, have a tendency of asking women out who aren't in their league. I don't know why they do this.

Samson · 12-31-2004, 03:38 PM

I think I know:

Because it WORKS one time every 1/4 million tries.

Actually, I agree. Once again another book about common sense (or lack thereof). My question is, though, how to reveal this feeling that "you're just not that much into" another, without using the accurate but flippant sounding phrase?

Merika · 12-31-2004, 08:36 PM

Good Luck on that one Samson!!! Not only do they not know they are ugly....they are also DEAF!

I don't know if there is a 'nice' way. I just avoid the phone for weeks.

godiva · 02-26-2005, 08:15 AM

i met a guy.... we hit it off of course liquid courage was involved... no we didnt sleep together thank god..... we exchanged numbers and within the course of a few days i thought of him now and then.... he called a few days later we spoke on the phone about 7 or 8 times and i could tell just by talking to him onthe phone he was "iffy"... but i thought ah what the hell go on a date with him to see maybe itll be better in person etc.... one hour into the date i KNEW i did not want to date this guy..... BUT he was far more interested than i was.... we exzchanged a kiss on the cheek later and went our seperate ways but he called and he called and i was such a chicken poop to tell him i wasnt interested.... and im sorry but not even as a friend cuz i mean the guy was equivelant to fish food and pushy as hell.... but i still talke dto him until i ran into him a few weeks later at the same bar but with a guy i actually did start dating and i STILL couldnt tell him until i had at least three shots of tequila and i let him down as gently as i could.... i tried to remain as friends but he kept calling and was being very persistent to the poiunt where i was like OK DOOD STOP CALLING..... so a few months go by.... it turns out the guy was married but seperated at the time we met.... however he told his wife we had dated for a few weeks and she came into my work and literally started to ask me questions about him and myself.... i was completely lost with the qhole scenario until it finally hit me.... she told me what he had said.... i was never more pissed off than that moment.... i told her exactly what our "dates" consisted of.... and the woman did not believe me..... what could i do but laugh....

Merika · 02-28-2005, 08:50 AM

Oh.....nothing worse than a married man trying to pull off 'single' status and getting you all involved in his retarded marriage problems.

If a married man wants to run around....fine....but don't be dishonest about where your marriage really is.

Duke · 02-28-2005, 12:45 PM

Don't all cheating married men pretend their single?

Samson · 02-28-2005, 01:07 PM

Quote:

If a married man wants to run around....fine....

!!!!

Really, Merika?

Merika · 02-28-2005, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Don't all cheating married men pretend their single?

Not at all. Most are right up front with it...and most will say they are happily married.....they just want to goof around on the side. Some jobs, such as the military or contracting, can take you away from home for long periods of time. As long as the guy is honest about it....I really don't fault him. It's his choice and his risk.

But LYING about it...is another matter.

Duke · 02-28-2005, 01:22 PM

I would have never guessed but then again, I've never been married. I can't understand why a woman would ever go for a married man, honesty or not.

Star · 02-28-2005, 03:41 PM

I've had plenty of opportunity in the past to have married men and I always chose not to. There are plenty of fish in the sea without intruding on someone else's marriage or relationship for that matter. I can't understand for the life of me why some women want and/or go for the married men. Why would you want to share something so personal? I don't get it and I certainly wouldn't want that either.

Duke · 02-28-2005, 04:28 PM

Now married women is another story completely ;-)