Getting rid of resentment

Stone · 11-02-2004, 06:17 PM

As some of you know my current relationship has just been "mended" in the last month or two, My B/F is Bipolor and was institutionalised with no contact to me for about 3 weeks, he is better now and things are going smoothly but I can't get over the resentment I have from losing ALOT of things due to is breakdown. I know it isn't his fault and he didn't intentionally try to hurt me but he did and I resent the CRAP out of him and I can't get over it. We've talked about it a million times but it doesn't help, I just stay away from him and he stays away from me, I guess this is my fault becaue he always reassures me he loves me and wants to work things out but I continue to fight with him over it I can't get over the Anger and Resentment or know how?

Any tips?

sn00py · 11-02-2004, 07:49 PM

is bipolar when your had at one point and mad the next like ur mood changes out of nowhere????????????????????????

Stone · 11-02-2004, 07:56 PM

That is a symptom bipolor is similir to manic depression

Merika · 11-02-2004, 08:02 PM

Meanon is the ace for answering situations like this.

However, I don't know how you automatically get over anger and resentment. I personally think that type of healing takes time to rebuild the trust and secure feeling back up.

Until that time, all you can do is draw a line down a sheet of paper. Write down all the things you've lost on the left.....write his name on the right. Then ask yourself which one means the most to you. Once you've made the decision....never look back.

We all have times in our past when we've disappointed our parents or someone we greatly cared for, we did them wrong, we were stupid.....but eventually as remorse sets in....we ask for forgiveness and grace.

If your boyfriend is asking for your forgiveness and is trying to work things out....IF YOU STILL LOVE HIM....extend to him the benefit of the doubt. Forgive him, try again and put all the other stuff behind you.

Duke · 11-02-2004, 08:15 PM

I say take a break and let your heart decide. It's almost impossible to recover from hurt right away and forcing the issue only serves to make matters worse. I can tell you, you shouldn't feel guilty about your feelings no matter what they may be. It will be the seed that your resentment grows from.

Stone · 11-02-2004, 08:20 PM

I love him to death, when he is not "manic" and only has been this one time, he is an awasome guy and he is WONDERFUL to Noah. BUT I am going on the cruise by myself so hopefully I can work out some issues on my vacation... ( although I resent him for making me go by myself, but it may be a blessing)

I am going by myself because when we planned this one year ago everything was fine now that he was gone for so long he needs to get work done.

Duke · 11-02-2004, 08:24 PM

Invite a friend, say a 5' 11" Canadian male named Ken for instance ;-)

Stone · 11-02-2004, 08:24 PM

Pack your bags ken

Duke · 11-02-2004, 08:28 PM

sw33t, I'm on my way.

We'll talk about finances ;-)

Stone · 11-02-2004, 08:30 PM

Absolutley we'll talk about YOUR FInances paying for MY drinks LMAO :evilin:

Duke · 11-02-2004, 08:35 PM

If I buy the drinks what am I getting in return?

Stone · 11-02-2004, 08:36 PM

A drunk blond bimbo

Duke · 11-02-2004, 10:17 PM

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

Merika · 11-03-2004, 01:12 PM

Hmmmm....sounds like we need a garden hose option in here!

HAHA!

Stone · 11-03-2004, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Is it getting hot in here or is it just me?

NOPE It's me!! LOL HAHAHAHA

Duke · 11-03-2004, 06:10 PM

I should change the color of these forums to brown because of all the flying bs lol.

Stone · 11-03-2004, 06:12 PM

LMAO

Duke · 11-03-2004, 06:13 PM

It's kinda fun here though so I'm not complaining

Stone · 11-03-2004, 06:39 PM

Soooo you like flying bs? :fart: :

Duke · 11-03-2004, 07:17 PM

Depends on who's slingin' it sista ;-)

Stone · 11-03-2004, 07:18 PM

OMG I am cracking up you are so bad!

Duke · 11-03-2004, 07:20 PM

Just don't let hubby seeing you cracking up at your computer, he'll think your nuts. Either that or it will confirm that he already knew you were nuts.

Either way, it's not good news ;-)

Stone · 11-03-2004, 07:23 PM

He already knows I am nuts, I have been laughing at the puter quite often lately. I think he is jellous he says I have a better relationship with the puter than him :roll:

Duke · 11-03-2004, 07:25 PM

Just tell him you're cracking up at the computer because you glimpse your reflection during the refresh screen.

Stone · 11-03-2004, 07:29 PM

he doesn't know what a refresh screen is or even a puter for that matter, he watches his Fox news in the BR at night and I am in the office on the Puter so it's nice

11-02-2004, 06:17 PM	#1
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	Getting rid of resentment As some of you know my current relationship has just been "mended" in the last month or two, My B/F is Bipolor and was institutionalised with no contact to me for about 3 weeks, he is better now and things are going smoothly but I can't get over the resentment I have from losing ALOT of things due to is breakdown. I know it isn't his fault and he didn't intentionally try to hurt me but he did and I resent the CRAP out of him and I can't get over it. We've talked about it a million times but it doesn't help, I just stay away from him and he stays away from me, I guess this is my fault becaue he always reassures me he loves me and wants to work things out but I continue to fight with him over it I can't get over the Anger and Resentment or know how? Any tips?

11-02-2004, 08:15 PM	#5
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	I say take a break and let your heart decide. It's almost impossible to recover from hurt right away and forcing the issue only serves to make matters worse. I can tell you, you shouldn't feel guilty about your feelings no matter what they may be. It will be the seed that your resentment grows from. __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-02-2004, 08:24 PM	#7
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	Invite a friend, say a 5' 11" Canadian male named Ken for instance ;-) __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-02-2004, 08:28 PM	#9
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	sw33t, I'm on my way. We'll talk about finances ;-) __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-02-2004, 08:35 PM	#11
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	If I buy the drinks what am I getting in return? __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-02-2004, 07:49 PM	#2
sn00py Regular Contributer Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 194	is bipolar when your had at one point and mad the next like ur mood changes out of nowhere????????????????????????

11-02-2004, 07:56 PM	#3
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	That is a symptom bipolor is similir to manic depression

11-02-2004, 08:02 PM	#4
Merika Retired Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 13,207	Meanon is the ace for answering situations like this. However, I don't know how you automatically get over anger and resentment. I personally think that type of healing takes time to rebuild the trust and secure feeling back up. Until that time, all you can do is draw a line down a sheet of paper. Write down all the things you've lost on the left.....write his name on the right. Then ask yourself which one means the most to you. Once you've made the decision....never look back. We all have times in our past when we've disappointed our parents or someone we greatly cared for, we did them wrong, we were stupid.....but eventually as remorse sets in....we ask for forgiveness and grace. If your boyfriend is asking for your forgiveness and is trying to work things out....IF YOU STILL LOVE HIM....extend to him the benefit of the doubt. Forgive him, try again and put all the other stuff behind you.

11-02-2004, 08:20 PM	#6
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	I love him to death, when he is not "manic" and only has been this one time, he is an awasome guy and he is WONDERFUL to Noah. BUT I am going on the cruise by myself so hopefully I can work out some issues on my vacation... ( although I resent him for making me go by myself, but it may be a blessing) I am going by myself because when we planned this one year ago everything was fine now that he was gone for so long he needs to get work done.

11-02-2004, 08:30 PM	#10
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	Absolutley we'll talk about YOUR FInances paying for MY drinks LMAO :evilin:

11-02-2004, 08:36 PM	#12
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	A drunk blond bimbo

11-02-2004, 10:17 PM	#13
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	Is it getting hot in here or is it just me? __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-03-2004, 01:12 PM	#14
Merika Retired Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Florida, USA Posts: 13,207	Hmmmm....sounds like we need a garden hose option in here! HAHA!

11-03-2004, 06:10 PM	#16
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	I should change the color of these forums to brown because of all the flying bs lol. __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-03-2004, 06:12 PM	#17
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	LMAO

11-03-2004, 06:13 PM	#18
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	It's kinda fun here though so I'm not complaining __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-03-2004, 06:39 PM	#19
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	Soooo you like flying bs? :fart: :

11-03-2004, 07:17 PM	#20
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	Depends on who's slingin' it sista ;-) __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-03-2004, 07:18 PM	#21
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	OMG I am cracking up you are so bad!

11-03-2004, 07:20 PM	#22
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	Just don't let hubby seeing you cracking up at your computer, he'll think your nuts. Either that or it will confirm that he already knew you were nuts. Either way, it's not good news ;-) __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-03-2004, 07:23 PM	#23
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	He already knows I am nuts, I have been laughing at the puter quite often lately. I think he is jellous he says I have a better relationship with the puter than him :roll:

11-03-2004, 07:25 PM	#24
Duke Founder Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Under your bed. My Communication Style: Honest, Supportive Posts: 25,259	Just tell him you're cracking up at the computer because you glimpse your reflection during the refresh screen. __________________ My Daughter Rules! "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes."

11-03-2004, 07:29 PM	#25
Stone Veteran Member Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 2,862	he doesn't know what a refresh screen is or even a puter for that matter, he watches his Fox news in the BR at night and I am in the office on the Puter so it's nice

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