Friends to more then friends

darkangelism · 02-27-2005, 03:25 PM

Does going from friends to a relationship work? I like one of my friends a lot, and i have been told that she likes me too, but im not sure if the risk is worth it. My other friend told me that i should take the girl i like out to dinner and tell her how i feel. I dont want to be rejected and feel bad about myself again, but i also dont want to miss a chance. She has potential to be the one for me, she is close to everything i want in a person, smart, nice, beautiful.

Stone · 02-27-2005, 03:39 PM

Greg and I we're friends for a long time.

I think you should spend more "friendly" time with her but right now DO NOT take her to dinner and spill your guts... DON"T DON"T!!! Just let things work themselvs out for a while

darkangelism · 02-27-2005, 03:44 PM

ok.

She does know that i like her, i told her when i was drunk, but i can write it off as i was drunk and stupid.

Duke · 02-27-2005, 05:31 PM

I wouldn't be so sure about using drunk as an excuse. You may get away with it once or twice but eventually she'll come to think of you as a messy drunk.

If I may be so bold da, you seem to do a lot of little, stupid things that seem to stack the odds against you. Why don't you just pull it together a little bit and try dumping the excuses? I'm not saying this because of my observations of you, I'm only saying this because you've posted similarily several times in different parts of this board.

I'm not sure if this applies to you because it's something I do to sabotage intimacy. Why do I do this, well, I guess I just want to see if I can get the level of trust/feeling back that I had prior to the act? Most often I'll spend a lot of time on my partner making her feel very good before the act of sex takes place. I try and bring her to a place where it's only us in an attempt to bring her the big "O". It's important to me because I derive all of my pleasure from my partners pleasure (I'm weird that way I guess). There have been a few times where I've gotten my partner very close to bliss and as I kiss and lick my way up her body I take a detour and dive into her armpits. This breaks the mood instantly and makes getting her back to where she was a real challenge.

I know it's a stupid story and may not pertain to this topic at all but there is one element in there that I think is similar to what you do in some ways da. I believe you do stupid things sometimes that hamstring yourself and likely ruin your chances of being successful with a gal. You come on way too strong, way too fast, you share feelings with gals who likely never felt anything more than friendship with you and you fall in love instantly if a girl looks at you more than once for more than a second. If you would just calm down a bit and stop forcing it to happen, you may find that it will happen and likely a lot sooner than where you are now.

I know for a fact that my stupid act of breaking intimacy will make our encounter last several hours instead of the quick release we would have had had I been able to resist the pit. BTW, womens BO stick doesn't really taste that good for anyone who's curious.

darkangelism · 02-27-2005, 05:43 PM

your right, i do try and sabotage myself. I also dont learn so i just do the same things over and over again.

Im not gonna make an excuse, im just gonna leave it as it is, or as close to leaving the issue alone as i can. its probably less of a deal then i making it out to be, i mean i didnt say anything bad to her face other then i ike her and i did do the stupid thing of emailing her that night and repeated myself, an email she hasnt gotten yet. But i mess up enough that i know how to smooth things over, even some of the members on here can vouch for that.

Once i see her on tuesday in class, ill feel better about stuff, its the not knowing how bad i screwed up that bothers me the most.

Stone · 02-27-2005, 06:44 PM

Lesson #1 that I think all of us have/ or will learn sooner or later Watch what you say when your drunk and don't drink to get drunk. It's oK to drink to get a buz, in a social enviorment, ect.. your in college your SUPPOSED to party but just don't get TRASHED and overreact you will end up regreting things in the morning :wink:

darkangelism · 02-27-2005, 07:29 PM

I dont limit myself, i keep drinking until i leave the bar, so that night, i had a lot, and was mixing beer and hard alcohol, so that was part of it. I did overdo it and regreted stuff, but it could have been worse, she is really calm about this kinda stuff, so nothing bad should happen from anything i said.

Stone · 02-27-2005, 08:31 PM

I'm sure everything will be ok you'll learn about drinking sooner or later :wink: Just enjoy your college years because when you are in your mid 20's-30's you will NEVER be able to drink the same anymore... ( GAWD I MISS THOSE DAY'S) I just SUGGEST when the ladies are around limit yourself so you will always be a gentlemen... NO girls want to see ANY guy trashed all the time.. no fun Your SUPPOSED to get the girls trashed and stay somewhat sober :wink:

Duke · 02-27-2005, 08:49 PM

Just so you know, mixing booze is no different than drinking the same thing all night long. The only thing that may cause adverse affects is the amount of alcohol in each individual drink. The liver can only process between one and two ounces of alcohol per hour so the more you drink, the longer it will take your liver to process the poison. Also weight plays a big role in how alcohol affects the body. Essentially the bigger you are the more it takes for you to "feel" the adverse affects of booze since your larger body is made up of more water than a smaller body and water dilutes alcohol.

darkangelism · 02-27-2005, 08:59 PM

well they were more trashed then me, but this one girl i met there(that liked my cowboy hat) started buying me shots and that did me in. Usually i am in control, last night was a good example, i was fine. But im gonna stop drinking for awhile, if it isnt fun, then its not worth it and it hasnt been cause of either me being stupid, or me not being able to talk to girls at the bar.

Stone · 02-27-2005, 09:11 PM

I TOLD YOU the cowboy hat would pay off!!!

Duke · 02-27-2005, 09:13 PM

There's nothing wrong with drinking socially, especially at your age. The one thing that I found which really helped me was to have one drink (try to nurse it as much as possible) and then have one or even two waters or pops. It's the best way to drink yet remain in control that I can think of.

Also eating helps as well.

darkangelism · 02-27-2005, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoneheather

I TOLD YOU the cowboy hat would pay off!!!

Yeah it def helped, the girl had a boyfriend, but she was cool, from england, and the hat also lets me tip it at girls when we make eye contact. Its kinda silly that something like that makes me more social...though the extra social stuff is what caused me to get drunker and have issues...i should just go out with people that wont make me jealous.

Duke · 02-27-2005, 09:50 PM

I think the cowboy hat helps you because it's a prop you can hide behind. I remember in another post you said that you avoid eye contact for the most part but your hat allows you to do what you normally wouldn't. If it works for you then I'd say keep using it.

Merika · 02-28-2005, 08:55 AM

Lots of people rely on 'props'. I do great socially with a beer in my hand or if I'm at work. Now, if someone runs into me at the grocery store....I can't think of anything to say and feel all wierded out.

Find a comfort zone for yourself....and make it work for you.