Finding the right person

Merika · 01-19-2005, 09:09 AM

How many dates does it take you before you realize someone just isn't for you?

What are the signs? What do you look for? What makes 'chemistry'?

Fayebelle · 01-19-2005, 09:27 AM

I go for 3- figuring the 1st 2 could be crappy b/c of nerves or other situations- if things aren't right by the 3rd- it prob won't ever be

Chemistry is an initial attraction for me- something about the person that would get me to go on the 1st date- but I don't count on it to get me thru others after that LOL

Samson · 01-19-2005, 09:31 AM

Quote:

What are the signs? What do you look for? What makes 'chemistry'?

Merika, I'm shocked!! 8O

You mean there might be some sign besides the sight of the neck of a bottle poking out of a paper bag?

Merika · 01-19-2005, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Samson

You mean there might be some sign besides the sight of the neck of a bottle poking out of a paper bag?

Hey....I have an entire Navy base here with a liberal rotation every couple of years.....I don't have to find any lifelong attraction to one guy. To make it more interesting...MOST guys I've ever dated were in the Army.

The bottle doesn't draw me....it only gets me thru the boring ones.

Samson · 01-19-2005, 09:53 AM

In my experience there is almost no grey area with this subject: Either I'm totally infatuated and you can do no wrong, OR I know after the first hour that it shouldn't proceed any longer.

In fact, I'm imbued with such tactlessness that I'll usually end it right there (offering to deposite her at the nearest location convienient to her, of course.......I'm not a total "Cad.") :?

Merika · 01-19-2005, 10:13 AM

I usually know right away also. Doesn't mean I won't go on a date with them. Dinner, beer....it works in it's own arena.

Even though there was this one Navy guy who was just SO good looking and I was thrilled when he asked me out. We were both working.....so we really hadn't spoken very much. Then, during the date, I realized he was borderline remedial.....close to retarded. I was really embarassed! To make it worse.....he was a guard with a gun. I still can't believe they trusted him with one.

My daughter met him and immediately noticed he was 'different'. I thought he was just nervous.

Gosh, I hope he never sees this. He is a really sweet guy.

twinkle · 01-19-2005, 10:20 AM

First date. But... I also give them second and third to be sure - if they're nice and know how to keep my attention. Plus... I found it a bit difficult to tell the guy when he calls after the second date: "Hey, you know... What if you forgot my number?"

I'm a weisel when it comes to rejecting guys

. Worse part is when they ask me out, LOL. I thik I'm even more embarassed than they are

.

Merika · 01-19-2005, 10:23 AM

ME TOO Twinkle. I used to walk extra miles just to avoid certain people on a ship. It was the reason I ended up knowing all the back alleys and short cuts on them which impressed my boss...him not knowing why I found them all.

(I'm talking about a ship with 28 decks and 1000 feet long....not a boat! LOL!)

Stone · 01-19-2005, 10:34 AM

1st date I won't go on a 2nd or 3rd date if I am not intrested, All of the guys I have ever been in relationships we're friends first. "Dating" was never for me. Plus I live in a small town everyone knows everyone so I can usually dig up some dirt first

Although Greg asked me out for 2 years before I would agree to go out with him, I did it out of pitty and that night I feel in love ( Puke to sappy!)

Merika · 01-19-2005, 10:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stoneheather

Although Greg asked me out for 2 years before I would agree to go out with him, I did it out of pitty and that night I feel in love ( Puke to sappy!)

After all that time of thinking you were NOT interested, what was it that happened which changed your mind?

Stone · 01-19-2005, 10:43 AM

I was afraid to date him because of our age diffrence, then I realised how deepley he cared about me, and how desperatly he wanted a faimly, and how comfortable I already was around him, we didn't have to "fake" anything or put on a show because we we're already pals and I actually feel in love with him on our 1st date.

twinkle · 01-19-2005, 10:46 AM

YEah, I did that also! It's so much better that here things are different. I mean for instance at school, I KNOW no French boy will dare to ask me out, which suits me just fine (I can flirt and laugh as I see fit)

On bars, on the other hand... that's different. They're all over you if you don't stand your ground. Won't even mention how it's like if you wanna go dancing. I just ignore them when I'm with my galfriends and I continue dancing.

Oh, what an extra beer can do!

Stone · 01-19-2005, 10:50 AM

I am RUDE as heck when guys try to dance with me I just look at them dead in the eyes and say "Excuse me did I invite you to dance" they usually walk away after that!

Merika · 01-19-2005, 11:09 AM

You probably had to learn that from your previous job....in order to keep yourself safe. Now, it comes in handy to have learned how to be assertive.

YellowLioness · 01-20-2005, 06:10 PM

I know with in the first 15 minutes whether I will be able to love someone or not. LOL. Maybe I just move too fast.

Now, that doesn't mean that I always make good choices with whom I give my love, or any indication of how the relationship will turn out.

I knew from the second I met Beanie that I could love him. He felt the same way, although I was shy and he was all staring at me, winking at me, and sitting by me every chance he could. :-P

I didn't know how to take it. But, I knew I liked him. Then, when it turned out we were born on the same day, I knew he was the one for me.

Anyway, I gotta get going. HE's supposed to pick me up at 6:15 p.m.

Have a lovely night, ladies and gents. HOpefully, it will snow and they'll close the court house and I won't have to go to work tomorrow!!!