Fencing Your Heart

Merika · 12-03-2004, 11:03 AM

In the beginning of fences....people didn't fence to keep their stuff IN. They fenced to keep other people's stuff and wildlife OUT.

When you put fences around your heart....are you fencing In (to keep yourself from getting out) or fencing OUT (to keep other's from entering in)?

Adonaicole · 12-03-2004, 01:08 PM

I don't have any fences around my heart. When love comes knockin', I want the door to be wide open. Who would want to miss out on love?
Of course you can get hurt but you could get hurt walking down the street, a car could run off the road or you could get struck by lightning. Why live in fear? Live is too short...I wanta get my groov on...ha, ha...

twinkle · 12-03-2004, 01:18 PM

Do you know the song "I fall inlove too easily"? In my case, I'd be fencing it so that I don't get involved.

I'm the one doing most of the damage, here. Other people harm me only if I allow them to...

Meanon · 12-03-2004, 01:23 PM

I think it's mainly to stop people getting in. They'll leave by the gate if they want to, but the moment they feel threatened they'll retreat behind the fence.

You're right, Adonaicole. People don't do it on purpose, though. They do it because they've been hurt and until they get over it they can'ttake the risk it will happen again.

Star · 12-03-2004, 01:44 PM

I never had a fence around my heart. I think we need to feel joy or pain to grow into knowing the true meaning of love. If we fence our hearts, how can we find true love? "The one" just might of come along and left because of a fenced heart. My heart was always open.

Merika · 12-03-2004, 03:06 PM

I don't know Meanon. Maybe if you block off the ouside....it's a fear of getting hurt. If you block the inside from getting out....it's a fear of commitment. Don't know....was just thinking about it.

Meanon · 12-03-2004, 03:57 PM

Don't you think fear of committment is a fear of getting hurt? I always thought it was, that people hold back out of fear that if they give all of themselves to someone then they give them the power to hurt.

Merika · 12-03-2004, 11:53 PM

I don't know. I'm not sure I'm afraid of getting hurt.....I just don't have the inkling or energy to give any more pieces away. I'm too tired.

So...I'm not sure if I'm protecting myself....or I'm merely protecting some great guy from getting involved with someone who doesn't have the ability to give back in the same measure.

Duke · 12-04-2004, 12:54 AM

I never build a fence till after I get burned, then I add mortar and make it 6 feet thick and turn it into a bomb shelter.

Luba · 10-05-2008, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

I never build a fence till after I get burned, then I add mortar and make it 6 feet thick and turn it into a bomb shelter.

Very graphic, Duke!

I don't build a fence around my heart and sometimes I get burned badly; but I learn from it, and move on. I do sometimes lie to myself by saying I'm going to get tougher, but I never do....

Meanon · 10-06-2008, 05:58 PM

How weird seeing this from so long ago. I've changed my mind. I fence in. Not always, but I'm far more careful than I used to be. Like twinkle, I fall in love FAR too easily. I'm a hazard to myself

TKDLady · 10-06-2008, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Meanon

How weird seeing this from so long ago. I've changed my mind. I fence in. Not always, but I'm far more careful than I used to be. Like twinkle, I fall in love FAR too easily. I'm a hazard to myself

Ditto!!!

Meanon · 10-07-2008, 07:30 PM

Ha! I can tell that was heart felt. This made me lol - from my summer read (the author has the same problem), I hope you like it too, tkdlady:

I have boundary issues with men. Or maybe that's not fair to say. To have issues with boundaries, one must have issues with boundaries in the first place, right? But I disappear into the person I love. I am the permeable membrane. If I love you, you can have everything. You can have my time, my devotion, my ass, my money, my family, my dog, my dog's money, my dog's time - everything. If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will project upon you all sorts of good qualities you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhasted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else.

(Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert)

I am even worse than her in that I don't ever give up and become infatuated with someone else! But on the other hand, she is worse than me in that she begins to look like her man (in the way that other people look like their dogs). Otherwise, it's pretty much spot on

. So now I am very careful about who I fall in love with - for a start, they have to be givers too.

TKDLady · 10-07-2008, 09:27 PM

Ya, that pretty much sums me up. I will give and give and give and get by with very little in return. I am trying to be better and expect more for me too. But ya, I could have written that. Thanks Meanon.