Confrontation

Merika · 09-30-2004, 11:46 AM

How well do you rate your 'confrontational' skills? Mine just sux unless I'm really mad and then it all blows all over the place making no real sense.

I have friends who are wonderful at just asking up front and face to face. I have never been able to accomplish this. Sometimes a beer may help....who am I kidding....it takes SIX beers and then I don't remember what the h*ll they said back!!!

Duke · 09-30-2004, 10:08 PM

My skills are getting better and better because of my postion at work. If a situation occurs then I have to take care of it no matter how little I may want to. This means I also have to call ****, **** and will do so if needed.

Relationship wise though, I'm a big marshmellow.

Samson · 10-06-2004, 02:10 PM

Well, Arabess/Merika (sorry, but I'll always think of you as Arabess) those of us that know the LS history do not need to be appraised about your confrontational skills: However, if they were not the calibur that they are, you probably wouldn't be here!

Anyway, I'm not sure avoiding confrontation is the better solution (my strategy of choice). But rather than avoidance, I'm begining to appreciate that confrontation is necessary, and done with respect, even beneficial.

Merika · 10-06-2004, 02:58 PM

Not a prob Samson. There are people all over the net with names for me...even though I've never used them as screen names. HAHA!

Another point about confrontation is that you first have to feel like it's important enough to confront. Maybe I don't get as aggravated with other people over stuff as easily as some folks seem to do. I rarely even get road rage. If they drive dumb or slow....big deal! I don't get mad waiting in lines. I don't care if someone doesn't agree with my opinion. I'm kind of a ninny like that.

More than anything....I hate when someone is mad at me.

That's why when I AM upset over something....I think it is really important. How well I handle the 'upset' is still a toss up. :P

Duke · 10-18-2004, 01:05 AM

You're not stuck with the name Merika. If you want it changed I can do that for you. I've just disabled the option so we don't have users changing there name like I change my socks.

Merika · 10-18-2004, 10:18 AM

Merika works for me...it stands for 'America'....with a ghetto slang. HAHA! I've used it on political type forums for quite awhile.

Arabess always gets me in trouble! :dancingmoon:

I think once someone has established a screen name on a particular forum....it would be confusing if they changed the name. I dont' care if someone does....but I still think it would be confusing.

Stone · 10-18-2004, 10:22 AM

I am a total Bit**! I have no problem telling someone how I feel, but in my relationship this causes me alot of problems because i need to be a little more sensitive about the way I talk to my SO.

Merika · 10-18-2004, 10:36 AM

The list Paul C. posted in the husband's checklist also has a female checklist. It's really VERY good!

After reading it....I can see why I'm single! I'm not really b*tchy.....I just don't like someone else in my house. :wha:

Duke · 10-28-2004, 01:51 AM

Maybe it's because you haven't met the right someone.

Also, if I may be so bold, you seem to have shut down any willingness to even try.

I hope that didn't sound harsh, just curious I guess.

twinkle · 10-28-2004, 04:38 AM

I don't like someone else in my house either. For a long time, that is. Sleep overs are great, sometimes even a week end. But after 2 nights spent together, I start to run anound in cercles... I'm territorial and I need my space.

Yet, Arabess, it has never stopped me from being in relationships. I seem to hop from one in another like at circus. It's amazing! I'm pretty disgusted with myself from this pov. My only excuse is that these relationships are long, so...

Confrontational skills... what are those? Never heard of it, Lool.

After I broke up with my ex, I've kind of started to heard of these, but I still never make much use of it. I have no problem showing disagreement to a subject or heat up in a debate. But confronting people with things that really bother me... nope, that's something I avoid to do untill I can't take it anymore. I don't need a beer to burst, just alot of time and frustration. Than all hell breaks loose.

Merika · 10-28-2004, 10:08 AM

I'm with you on that one twinkle...I have to drink a few beers before I can be honest with anyone! That's kinda sad....huh?

Merika · 10-28-2004, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Duke

Maybe it's because you haven't met the right someone.
Also, if I may be so bold, you seem to have shut down any willingness to even try.
I hope that didn't sound harsh, just curious I guess.

It didn't sound harsh.....just realistic!

I have 4 more years and my kids will be out of school and off to college. Then I'll be living alone and still have ample time to 'fall in love' without worrying that it will somehow negatively impact my kids. They've been through enough....I don't want to add to all the confusion by expecting them to accept another person. Does that make sense?

Even after they are gone though....I'm not sure that I'll want to be with someone 24/7. I'm kind of set in my ways now. I would have to be with someone who had his own stuff to do and we kept some space between us.

Duke · 10-28-2004, 10:35 PM

Falling in love could change that mindset but it's great you're thinking of the kids first.

Falling in love may help to change your views on sharing though. As you can tell, I'm eternally optimistic.

Merika · 10-29-2004, 02:02 AM

I'm optomistic....but not to the point of thinking I'm gonna come in and introduce some guy named 'Fred' and my kids are gonna accept him as a Daddy! It's NOT GONNA HAPPEN!

I'm not being a matyr either. I'm actuallt very content where I'm at ...at this point.

I'm not dismissing love.....it just doesn't happen to be the priority as to where I'm emotionally.