Attraction - What Makes it Happen?

[TKDLady]

What makes a person attracted to one person but not another? Here is one definition from Wikipedia. I found myself thinking of this the other day on my drive to work. I thought about some men I have been and am attracted to and ones I am not attracted to. They all compare pretty close in personality, physique, general looks and brains. But I find a couple just do something for me. And why does the attraction go away sometimes? For example with a spouse or significant other, you wake up one day and find you are no longer attracted to that person. Why? Any thoughts?

Here are a few links along the lines of attraction:

The Rules of Attraction in the Game of Love | LiveScience
BBC - Science & Nature - Hot Topics - Love - Attraction
Sexual Attraction Among Humans | Serendip's Exchange

[Luba]

Personally, I think if the relationship isn't constantly nurtured and cherished by both mates, the relationship will quietly slip away, one day one wakes up and realizes it's too late and it's gone. If problems arise, and one mate realizes the other won't listen or understand, the sadness and loneliness begins for the one that wants so desperately to communicate his/her feelings.

However, being a Positive Person, I think if a person invested a lot into the relationship and finds just a SPARK, a tiny, little spark, and opens up the communication, no matter how much time has gone by and could be painful, and both parties may be able to re-start , re-connect and a whole new and better relationship begins. It all depends on the two people involved and how important the relationship is to them. JMHO

[Scott]

Originally Posted by TKDLady

What makes a person attracted to one person but not another?

Smell.

[TKDLady]

Originally Posted by Scott

Smell.

That is one reason according to a couple of those articles. I will admit that one guy I am attracted to has a smell. Not cologne or anything, just him. It isn't the only thing however.

[Meanon]

I tend to like the person 1st, then their smell. If I really, really like someone I find their smell SO distracting

[IvyRose]

Mmmm... Can't help you there... I rarely lose interest or turn much down but my shirt collar.

[ilovemice]

Humour humour and more humour - nice hair, good teeth, humour, self-motivation, pro-active, uncomplicated, a good balance of selflessness, cool but not too cool, friendly but not too nice, assertive, confident (with slight insecure tendecies), good shoes, well-fitting jeans, attractive pants and the ability to both think about doing nice things and actually doing them.

As you can see I dont ask for much!

[Scott]

Originally Posted by ilovemice

Humour humour and more humour - nice hair, good teeth, humour, self-motivation, pro-active, uncomplicated, a good balance of selflessness, cool but not too cool, friendly but not too nice, assertive, confident (with slight insecure tendecies), good shoes, well-fitting jeans, attractive pants and the ability to both think about doing nice things and actually doing them.

As you can see I dont ask for much!

Yes, apparently they can smell like a sewer.......

As long as they have "attractive pants."

[wolvesjr34]

Interesting reading.

But for me it's who the person is. Their sense of humour, their communicative intelligence (I honestly couldn't see myself in any long-term relationship with someone not capable of decent conversation on numerous topics), their morale code, their ability to listen, to understand me, to show consideration for others (for the most part) and again their ability to make me laugh. Also tend to lean towards those I believe could "protect" me emotionally.

That said, there would be certain physical attributes that would put me off - bad hygiene being the main thing. I am not at all one to be attracted or disinterested based on looks.

I've cared greatly for two women in my life, and yet I never met them in person. (this would open a whole other discussion me thinks) I am however confident that I wouldn't have had any problem with them in person... cannot judge on their thoughts though.

I do find it interesting though that the strongest feelings/connections I've had have been with the people who I've gotten to know, without the physical side being involved. All other relationships I've had in my life, that involved physicality were all to brief - because there just wasn't enough thought given into getting to know the real people we were (not for lack of trying on my behalf).

Umm... so yeah.

[Meanon]

Originally Posted by Scott

Yes, apparently they can smell like a sewer.......

As long as they have "attractive pants."

Pants maketh the man.

[TKDLady]

Originally Posted by Meanon

Pants maketh the man.

They help. For me, one attraction, is the behind and how it fits in their pants. Not the first thing I look at but one of them. Their personality is what makes it last however.

[Scott]

Originally Posted by Meanon

.

Pants maketh the man.

I'm certain you mean "The man maketh the pants," unless I've completely misjudged your character.