making progress
i feel like im finally making some progress towards being happier. i realized it today when i pulled myself out of an emotional tailspin. Normally once i start feeling negative i start feeding it and drag myself down, today i started doing that but was able to stop. Though the trigger was still something that shouldnt be. My friend who is going to eurpe with me was telling me to be more social and have funand i made a comment about flirting with girls on the trip but not her, as most of my friends dont like when i do, but she was like why not? you can flirt with me, i dont mind. Then i started to get sad, it was a strange response, she was trying to help me, but it did the complete opposite. i think it stems from the fact that i dont want to waste energy on flirting with somebody that i know doesnt like me. she is gonna end up pressuring me when we are there about being social, but she doesnt motivate me and i dont want to say no dont say anything to me about it. I end up putting up a wall to protect myself from getting hurt. I think id be more motivated if she trashed me and i used the negative energy to show her wrong, instead i use the postive energy to be negative. Anyway i am making some progress cause im trying to avoid my first response and stay positive and be able to enjoy myself.
|
Linear Mode
