Laughing at Retirement

Merika · 10-19-2004, 11:19 PM

There will be no nursing home in my future.........

When I get older and even more feeble, I am going to get on a Princess Cruise Ship.
The average cost for a nursing home (today) is $200 per day. I have checked on reservations at Princess and I can get a long term discount and senior
discount price of $135 per day. That leaves $65 a day for:

1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.

2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).

3. Princess has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free
washers and dryers, and shows every night.

4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.

5. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5
worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.

6. I will get to meet new people every 7or 14 days.

7. T.V. broken? Light bulb need changing? Need to have the mattress
replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your
inconvenience.

8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for
them.

9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If
you fall and break a hip on the Princess ship they will upgrade you to a
suite for the rest of your life.

Now hold on for the best! Do you want to see South America, the Panama
Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?
Princess will have a ship ready to go.

So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call shore to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they just dump you over the side at no
charge.
------------------------------
I got this in email. Is it a PLAN or WHAT????

Okay...well.....I'm much CLOSER to it than you guys which is why I spend time thinking about it!

Duke · 10-20-2004, 08:36 AM

lol, good find.

If thats the case I'll be parking my Rascal Scooter on a cruise ship as well. :moped:

Stone · 10-20-2004, 08:40 AM

Is that their neverending cruise to nowhere?

Duke · 10-20-2004, 08:41 AM

Kinda like the cruise I'm taking through life at the moment.

Stone · 10-20-2004, 08:43 AM

Merika... you know I am going to use that list in my sales meeting when I sell Long Term Care next week. That's always such a crappy subject to talk about.... This will help lighten it up!

Merika · 10-20-2004, 10:25 AM

Speaking of retirement......I always thought I'd get a motorhome and just go from one place to the next during my golden years. I've joked about becoming Queen of the Shuffleboard from coast to coast.....and maybe in Saskatoon too!

Paul · 10-20-2004, 06:59 PM

lol Saskatoon, I think you'd miss civilization a bit if you did move there.

Duke · 10-20-2004, 07:03 PM

Saskatchewan, home of blue skies and cowsh@t.

Merika · 10-20-2004, 08:31 PM

Ok you guys....I grew up in a one red-light town known as the 'Watermelon Capitol'. I can deal with cows.

My only HONEST concern is not being able to get high speed internet.

Duke · 10-20-2004, 08:44 PM

I'm sure it's available there if you live in a rural area, which you likely will. DSL on the other hand may be a different story.

Merika · 10-21-2004, 10:10 AM

It's still a small price to pay for a home in the Cow Pattie Plains of Canada! LOL!

Duke · 10-21-2004, 08:41 PM

Well fortunately your cable connection shouldn't be hubbed as much as it is here in the big city and even if it is, it's only a bunch of inbreds looking at shearedsheep.com

Merika · 10-21-2004, 10:36 PM

I'll make sure not to curl my hair......so none of the locals mistake me for a 'special friend'.....LOL!

I meant YOUR post was funny. With the page change.....the arrow looses it's effectiveness! [/i]

Duke · 10-21-2004, 10:40 PM

I guess now we don't have to worry about guests turning away because of my intellectual superiority.

I have no idea what point I just tried to make.